Need Advice: Ex Reads the Blog

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Aleksie on October 4, 2008 at 9:05pm

I'd warn him but also be smart enough to write with care... Unless your blog is private, you probably should do that anyway. You really never know who's reading, and I think it might freak out some people if they know you're writing about them

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Miss Tiff on October 4, 2008 at 10:19pm

I haven't had to deal with this yet. I hoping my EX who has been acting all kinds of crazy doesn't find it. I really wouldn't want to deal with that on top of his stupidity I'm already dealing with. But, I'm not really sure how I would deal with it. But, he has to realize that you are going to be going out with other people which means you might end up blogging about it. I know you don't want to hurt him. But, do you really want to censor you blogging??

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Stehle on October 5, 2008 at 12:28pm

Ahh yes, great question! And something I bet almost all have dealt with at one time or another. You sound very much like me and although I applaud your kind/sensitive side for not wanting to hurt your ex's feelings, in a way you can't worry about him. He is your ex for a reason, right? One reason being that you want to move on, right? So if you keep censoring yourself and holding back for HIS sake, how are you "moving on"? And while you are trying so hard not to hurt HIS feelings, you are in fact hurting yourself by censoring yourself and holding back!

Sure I guess you don't "have to" blog about your dating life, but if that is something you want to write about, then you have every right to. There will always be people who don't like reading about a certain topic you write about, but we can't please everyone. Personally, I write for me. I write to express how I feel and to talk about my personal interests. Granted, I don't purposely try to offend anyone or hurt their feelings, but sometimes there is always going to be one person who is hurt or offended by what you write. If that's the case, then I think it's in their best interest not to read you. Right?

So in short, if your ex has a problem reading about your life, then really that's his problem and not yours. If it bothers him, he can stop reading your blog. He has free-will, he can choose not to surf there. And honestly, if you are broken up, it may be in his best interest to stop keeping close tabs on you. It will help him let go and move on easier and faster.

Breakups are painful enough, but having to hear about an ex's new boyfriend/girlfriend can be tortuous! I hope he doesn't do that to himself. But by all mean, you should blog about what YOU want to write about. Write for you, not for anyone else.

Now if you want, you can give him a little heads-up, like tell him you will be blogging about dating again, etc. That way he is given fair warning that what he reads may hurt his feelings and he can make a decision himself as to whether or not he can endure reading about it. Hope that helps and good luck!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ben on October 5, 2008 at 7:28pm

I very much agree. I'm sure you don't want to go out of your way to hurt him, but at the same time you can't let yourself feel guilty for expressing something that he will be uncomfortable with.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Sara on October 7, 2008 at 2:07pm

I totally agree...it's like people who complain about what is on TV...if you don't want to watch it, don't! If he doesn't want to know about your new dating life, he can avoid your blog!!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by cooper on October 5, 2008 at 2:10pm

That is a hard one. I don't do personal blogging of that type specifically for that reason.

I don't know how I'd feel or what I'd do.

You're choice is to stop blogging personal things or getting a new blog address he doesn't know about, or the third choice is just to ignore whatever he is doing and move on.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Hardt on October 5, 2008 at 10:43pm

I'm in the same situation and I don't think there really is an answer... I've started posting about my dates and he of course will call or text messages responses to me. The only thing I can say is you've broken up for a reason, no amount of blogging about new men in your life will change that.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Melissa Leeanne on October 6, 2008 at 2:00am

Well, I've never shared my blog with anyone I've dated, but I have made an attempt to make mine as vague as possible when it comes to the names of people. I've listed everyone as Miss or Mr. so even if someone reads my blog, they at least won't know exactly who it references. It makes it more confusing that sometimes I use first names, sometimes last names, sometimes nicknames...

I also avoid sharing my blog with roommates, since sometimes there is drama and I like to keep my venting space.

I learned a valuable lesson about my very public former blog, some drama ensued, and I started making posts friends only and eventually started the new blog with the no name and no gory details policy.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by nicopolitan on October 7, 2008 at 5:23pm

You know what, I think SO@24 would probably have good advice on how to deal with this, as this was more or less the premise of the blog when it started. He's friendly if you write him.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Anati on October 8, 2008 at 11:55am

It is your right to express whatever you wish in your blog...without censorship. I wouldn't worry about it. If you respect him then tell him you are going to blog about dating and he may not want to continue reading...but deep down...you know he will. Just write...without worry. If he gets upset or hurt, it might just be the closure he needs. Best of luck.

------BLOGS------

Spontaneous Randomosity
http://tarnishedthoughts.blogspot.com/

Minutes & Miles
http://www.minutesmiles.blogspot.com/

Three Women Who Blog
http://3women.wordpress.com/

If you visit one of my blogs...leave a comment...I'll return the favor. :D

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Sarah on October 13, 2008 at 5:57pm

thank you to everyone that responded. you were very helpful! i've written some posts to keep my readers updated and written more detailed ones for myself, but kept them private. i'm going to be tactful when writing about new dudes and try to not censor myself.

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page