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Asking Out a Girl vs. Being A Gigantic Creeper
This needs explanation.
I work in a computer lab here on campus. There is a particular girl that comes in here during my shifts that I find absolutely stunning. I keep hoping that the opportunity to talk with her comes up, but the only time people need me for anything is if the stapler is broken.
I want to go up and ask her out for coffee... but I'm too much of a pussy. Trying to get my confidence up hasn't worked yet, but I'm getting there.
I could care less about the rejection aspect... I just think it's super weird for someone to go up to another person they have absolutely 0 previous contact with, engage in conversation, and ask them out. And for me, how would that work? "Hey, I've seen you come in for 4 months, blah blah blah, coffee?"
Girls, tell me honestly, because I'm truly bored with single life now. Is that creepy, or is that "normal"?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nic Lake on -
I'm fine with her saying no. That's not my worry in the slightest.
Another reason I think I'm "worried" is that I don't want to ask her with other people around... but routinely when she comes in, there are 60+ people in the lab.
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Permalink Reply by A girl who dreams on -
I think it would be a little creepy. However, if you had a few conversations with her first, or smiled at her a lot (and she smiled back) then it wouldn't be as weird. Find any excuse just to talk to her. You'll make her feel more comfortable that way.
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Permalink Reply by Katie Weber on -
I would be incredibly flattered if a complete stranger came up to ask me out unless he was 17 or over 45. I might not say yes, but it's not creepy, if you ask me. I think it's flattering. Asking her for coffee is a good bet. It's day time, there are other people around and therefore, it's low risk. Perfect first date for strangers.
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Permalink Reply by Smile Soup on -
I would get an empty (unused!) coffee cup from your cafe, put a sticky note on it with 'Coffee?' and a smiley face on it and place it on her table when she next comes in. That way you don't have the awkward loud voice in a quiet room thing and it's fairly non-threatening and gives her time to formulate a response too.
Good luck!!!!
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Permalink Reply by c.apricio.us on -
I think it's partly because it's too movie-like, too time consuming, or the other person's like "Yeah, that's a cup for coffee... What's your point?"
And, because I don't take hints well at all and typically have a one-tracked mind when I get near a computer (focused on the work I'm doing), I say that the latter would be something I would do. :x
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Permalink Reply by Kelli Shea on -
Well, ya know, I think it depends.
I always get to work early, so I usually find a nice table to sit at and read.
This guy is also usually there and has talked to me a couple times.
I thought he was just being nice.
But then he came into where I work. (On campus & he is a student, but it was weird that he came in...)
To me, it was kinda creepy.
He never asked me out, but the only reason he came was to say "hi" and it was just kinda awkward.
You might wanna talk to her first, before jumping into asking her out.
She might have a boyfriend or whatever. You never know.
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Permalink Reply by Allison on -
Maybe try talking to her a bit first - see if she's actually an interesting person. I might be a bit weirded out if someone asked me out based solely on looks, but that's just me.
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Permalink Reply by J Smith on -
I work at a retail store that sees it's fair share of attractive females. I avoid flirting or asking girls out a in my work place because I don't want it to be awkward if they come back in or have them avoid the store completely because of a bad move on my part.
As a guy I have been in this situation and understand where you are coming from and I have yet to find an answer except for the chance meeting at another location in which case it's easier to strike up a conversation.
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Permalink Reply by Luis Campos on -
I feel voodoo often helps in cases like this.
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Permalink Reply by Karie on -
I would think it was sweet and I would be flattered. First, coffee isn't threatening so it wouldn't creep me out. Second, in my experience, guys really fail at asking girls out these days. So that would get you a couple points right off the bat. If you're not scared of the rejection, I say go for it.
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Permalink Reply by Athena on -
I agree as well that perhaps striking up a conversation first would be the best way to go, so she actually knows who you are and that you're just a normal nice guy. And perhaps you can find out if she's dating someone in the process. After that a casual "how about a coffee", definately will not creep her out.
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