The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Blogging About Relationships/Dating
Where's the line on your blog? I have some great dating misadventures that I'd love to share on my blog, but I'm wondering when writing about relationships crosses that line.
What kind of things do you think are appropriate to share? How much do you reveal?
What kind of things do you think are appropriate to share? How much do you reveal?
Tags: dating, relationships, sex
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Berrak Sarikaya on -
I think it depends on how you handle it. If it's dating mishaps and you keep the person ANONYMOUS...and are careful about the details...you can write about it...since it's YOUR life.
And I can say this knowing how open you are on your blog.
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Permalink Reply by The Pumpernickel on -
Lol, how open would you say I am? I always thought I was fairly "closed" on my blog until I sat down and went through a bunch of my own entries. It seems I'm slightly more open than I had thought haha.
At the same time, I don't usually talk about specific things that happen day to day. Anecdotes from the past and restaurant reviews, yes. Dating misadventures, no-- with the exception of this entry, early in my blogging career:
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com/2008/10/when-conservati...
Read the comments, and you'll see why I quickly stopped talking about specific dates. Ha.
Whaddayathink? Am I too open?
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Permalink Reply by Berrak Sarikaya on
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The one thing you have to learn about blogging is that if you're putting yourself out there, you have to be willing to deal with the comments...and learn to let them roll off your back.
As far as being open or not...I think you handle everything you share with grace. If you wanted to write about dating mishaps, you'd be fine.
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Permalink Reply by M on -
I read that post, and it occurs to me that you and I are very different people with very different blogs. If you look at the first page of mine, scroll down a few, you'll see what I mean. But then again, my blog is all about politics, race, dating, romance, and sexuality, so I can't really avoid it.
What I don't get is: why avoid fighting back? The guy who responded in your comments section was an idiot, and I don't get why that would silence you. Fight back! What do you have to lose?
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Permalink Reply by The Pumpernickel on
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I actually did, in this entry, "Is 'Blog Rage' Legit?"
It wound up being one of my popular entries. And...I may or may not have fed it to a major DC blog, FamousDC.com.
So, in all, I probably responded more than I actually should have. But it was too gosh darn tempting not to!
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
My blog is out of my real life at least in any depth because that is not my thing. I think the great thing about blogs is that everyone has their own line. I rarely write about relationships though I think in some times past I've written about dates I went on, mostly because they were meaningless or I wanted to make a point about something. For me the line in that I don't really get into my real life or relationship and so on, but like I said the line is different for everyone.
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Permalink Reply by M on
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It's tough to know where to draw the line. I think much of it depends on your blog, your career, and your readership, and your relationship to those things. For example, in the past, I've tended to be pretty explicit in many ways. And while there are some people I know (mostly very close friends) who know about the blog, I do keep it anonymous, primarily for career reasons.
Where I draw the line, for the most part, is in feeling like I am sharing things that are relevant to an ongoing, developing relationship. I've stayed silent on relationships that I thought were going somewhere, and summarized things at the end when they didn't. On the other hand, I've gone into excruciating detail on dates that were just flaming fiascoes from j...
The other thing that you may want to consider is how blogging about relationships can influence the relationships themselves. As a hilarious example, a cat I was involved with for a little whil... Awk-ward. That's the most egregious example.
The relationship in which I am currently involved, well, I've told him that I am a blogger, and that I blog about relationships and sexuality, but that I'd like for him to not try to find my blog until I'm ready to share it with him. And thus far he has respected it, which is important to me.
Of course, the theme of my blog is Black Love, so I sort of have to blog about this stuff.
But, hopefully, that's helpful.
Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Karie on -
People are going to judge regardless. I get mostly positive feedback but every once in a while there are some very negative people that pop up on my page. I think you should blog about whatever you are comfortable with people knowing. I would say the only hold back would be that person finding your blog and reading about what you said about them. The line for me would be what I wouldn't mind that particular person reading. Everyone else can shuv it...
And of course, keeping that persons identity anonymous. I wouldn't want someone spitting my name out all over the web with personal details.
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Permalink Reply by Mia Dickinson on -
I completely agree! The whole basis of my blog is about love, sex and relationships. Ive amnaged to get myself into pretty stupid situations and although at first I got a few comments about coming across as a "man hater" readers that dont know me personally love it.
Ive changed certain details about everyone and instead of using initials (which is too obvious or can get confusing in case your ex's has the same initials) I created characters with funny names, normally due to their characteristics.
My friends know who the person is because they've either heard about them or met the guy. In terms of stepping over the line, I will discuss certain issues in the relationship, how things happened, how I felt, why things went wrong and even situations that progressed into sex BUT I refuse to acknowledge any "mechanisms" about sex. No personal details are shared and within the blog itself, it talks about before and after the act.
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Permalink Reply by Fun and Fearless in Beantown on -
I definitely keep things anonymous when it comes to past relationships but my general rule about blogging about things with my current relationship is that I write assuming that everyone (i.e. my family, his family, our friends) will read it. I hate the censorship that comes with it, but some things are too personal for me to have out there for everyone. On a sidenote, my boyfriend won't read my blog because he knows that I sometimes write about relationship.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
For the most part though, I try to keep my personal/romantic relationships discrete. If I do blog about someone, especially a girl I'm involved with, I will ask for her permission first and run the post by her before it's ever published. I do that because when I write, it's not always about me. Sometimes it's about a "she" as well. So I just want to respect her right to privacy.
I try to look at things from her point of view, as if I were in her shoes. If she were to share with the world those things about me, would I be ok with it? If not, then chances are she wouldn't be ok with me sharing certain things about her (or us) with the world either.
The Internet is a VERY public place and even when you try to keep things "anonymous", often people can figure out who you are and who you are talking about. And if you think they will never find what you write so you're safe to say whatever the hell you please - WRONG! There is a very good chance they will either come across your post or someone will point it out to them. And even when you think you've "deleted" something from the Internet, there are plenty of websites that have cached it and it will live on forever!
So my advice...think twice before you disclose too much. It may come back to haunt you.
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