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Can people change?
I know it's something everybody would like to believe, but have you ever witnessed it firsthand? I know and have seen people grow alright, but i've never seen anyone fundamentally change, have you?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
Nope, can't say I have seen it either. But people CAN change, but the truth is that not many do.
I’m a believer that past behavior predicts future behavior. And from my experience, that has been very true.
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Permalink Reply by Lacey Bean on -
It depends on how big of a change you are expecting. Changing personal or religious beliefs? Probably not. Changing a routine, or something bad that they are doing in a relationship... could happen. But like Erin said, people have to want to change.
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Permalink Reply by L.L. on -
I agree with Lacey - there are things that are easy to change.. hair styles, minor bad habits, etc... but some people have fundamental flaws that you can't always just overcome. But - if you really want to change, you will.
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Permalink Reply by Kendall on -
Erin's right, you have to WANT to change before anything else and that's a problem for many people. But every once in a while, you do find someone who is genuinely trying to. Whether they succeed or not varies.
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
It depends on what you mean by change. People change long term over years due to life experience, but if you are talking about someone's basically a lot less likely to happen.
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Permalink Reply by Karie on -
Yes. For most people, if you are given the right experience in your life... you will change. I think the experience that can change you is different for everyone and I also think there are people that never will, regardless. I've seen it, though. I've seen it in myself, my spouse, and many ohers.
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Permalink Reply by sequined on -
Of course people change. They just don't do it on schedule or when we'd like (need) them to.
Someone with a low self-esteem who makes destructive relationship decisions because of it might get a job that gives her a new perspective and purpose. Someone who defines himself entirely based on his looks might gain perspective after breaking his nose. Or whatever. We grow up and learn about ourselves and the world. But usually this takes an external change (circumstances, changed by you deliberately or through some accidental life event) and a dedicated internal effort, and those can be really hard to plan.
So in summary, yes people can change, but if you're waiting around for someone to do so, you should stop.
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Permalink Reply by Ben on -
I mean, have you ever seen a good person, become a bad person, or vice-versa, taking something like addiction out of the equation, I don't mean little ephianies, about been artifical over a nose or something, and I know people can change temporarily, and become more warm giving etc, or just be a bit of an ***hole for an extended period, but at the base. Do you believe that all man is inherently good?
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Permalink Reply by owais on -
I think every human being has the capacity to change, be it their belief, religion or minor issues like smoking or drinking. Any thing could change. It’s just that some are more resistant to change and other change readily.
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on -
Well people can only change the way they do thing and their perspective on things, I think the principles that one is grown on determine they way they live the rest of their lives.
Change can be seen on the surface but deep down the person is the same.
But then again if someone changes the way they do things base on their gained knowledge that’s change. So I cane to the conclusion that change can be evident in certain areas in ones life, but something will always remain the same.
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Permalink Reply by floreta on -
yes, people can change. most don't because we're too lazy and it takes a lot of effort and difficulty to change learned behaviors, habits, patterns, etc. I like to think of life as one big work in progress..
also, behaviors aren't fundamental to personality. you can change behaviors and that doesn't mean you're changing your personality or identity. true, some people get too attached to certain behaviors as part of their identity, and those are the people that aren't willing to change.. but it is NOT fundamental to identity. i think personality is fixed, from the day we are born. but everything else you can change, including your behaviors!
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Permalink Reply by JJ on -
I believe that in order for a person to change at a very deep level, something very significant has to happen before hand.
Near death experiences, incarceration, loss of a loved one, etc. Even after such change happens, it will still take a lot of work and willpower for the change to become permanent. If someone isn't willing to put forth the effort to maintain that change, they will simply fall back into their old behaviors.
The WILL to change must be greater than obstacles and temptations towards change.
I know very few people with significant will power...which leads me back to the belief that few people are capable of significant change.
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