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Cat calls, whistles and objectifying statements?
So question to you all. How do you feel about men who whistle or make cat calls at you?
I just wrote a blog about how it made me feel, and realized its not something I know much about when it comes to other people's opinions.
I find it incredibly degrading and objectifying, and am FAR less likely to respond to a guy who does that, then a guy who actually takes the time to talk to me.
So why do guys seem to think that girls actually like getting cat called, and when the girl doesn't respond, what is it with guys yelling stuff at them like 'F*** you too!' ??????
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
Well, I think my first reaction would be... Pissed. Just because I'm married and very, very loyal to my wife. But, once I got over that, I think I'd feel good. I have a good body image, so why would I be offended? I don't really go walking where people can cat call, whistle, etc. but I have had customers and guests hit on me. And I very, VERY quickly tell them I am happily married and a lesbian and that I am holy hell NOT interested. Which may be way rude, but really. I wear my ring everywhere I go.
So has my wife. She's like me and is very loyal, however I think it is incredibly hott when people hit on her. I have nothing to worry about, I'm the one who is married to her and going home with her! ^_^ She also lets people know she is married, she also always wears her ring.
One fun thing about working together, is that we can be all like "That girl/guy just hit on me!" and then we can shake our heads together.
If you ignore the person and they say "Fuck you" or whatever, well... Flip 'em off? Or just shrug and walk on. Who cares? You don't have to work or live with them!
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Permalink Reply by Oats on -
It's a cultural thing. Not so much here in America, but in our neighbor to the south... Hell, I've been cat-called by Mexican guys when I had long hair and they were on top of a building.
... And this from the same forum where girls are bitching that guys aren't confident enough...
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Permalink Reply by Akirah on -
I agree. It's very cultural. I'm not saying that makes it any better...if you're coming from a cultural context where catcalls are disrespectful, then that's that.
I've gotten to the point where I find it humorous. I'd never take a catcall seriously or go on a date with a catcaller, but I do appreciate a cute pickup line or compliment.
So I guess what I'm saying is this: if a guy whistles and says "hey baby...got fries with that shake?" I'll likely laugh and walk away. If another guy asks me if I'm married or calls me a "pretty lady," I'll take him more seriously. I don't require a guy to try long and hard to get to know me in order for me to give him my number or whatever. That's what dates are for.
I've also found that I'm more forgiving of catcallers if they are black, Latino, or from the Caribbean. Ha!
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Permalink Reply by Valerie B on -
it is SUCH a cultural thing. Totally agree.
I tend to be the type of girl that will walk over to the guy and ask what he said and challenge him to repeat it so I can call him out on why it was an unintelligent thing to do. But that's just me. I've been known to really shock some fellas that thought they were just going to get away with hollaring across the street. Not cool in my book.
I grew up in a town with a ton of Mexicans, and there was plenty of calling out the window as they drove by, or honking. to the point that when I moved to another town, and my friends saw me while driving and honked, I wouldn't react. I was so used to ignoring honks that I sometimes forget that it may be someone I actually know, or something genuinely trying to get my attention for something.
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Permalink Reply by Stumbling Forward on -
I used to be that way... in fact, the few guys that did attempt that on me when I was in high school either ended up with a black eye or a shattered ego.
I mean, I don't know what it's like in the states, but I know there are a lot here where (especially depending on what city you're in, and what part of the city), they will actually try to force you to respond. And sadly... being a girl who's 5'5 isn't quite as intimidating as it was in the 9th grade.
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Permalink Reply by Stumbling Forward on
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Hey, not all girls are complaining about that. I'm certainly not.
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Permalink Reply by leilani on -
confidence = talking to someone like a normal person, insecurity/ineptitude with the opposite sex = shouting/whistling/commenting to them as though they were on parade
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
Hate it now while you're young, but one day when you're old and gray, I bet you'll WISH guys would holler at you! You'll be flattered then, even coming from the skuzzy guys because at least SOMEONE is checking you out.
Trust me...or at least that is what one of the older women I work with said to a 20-something girl who was disgusted by some construction workers whistling at her.
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Permalink Reply by Valerie B on
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that's very true. I guess I don't really mind whistling. I think it's more of the degrading comments that get me. Even a "you lookin fine, girl" wouldnt get me too angry, but something like "girl, let me take you home" ... uh no. how about not.
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Permalink Reply by leilani on
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this is offensive on so many levels i don't even know where to start. firstly, no, i will not be pleased at any point when i am treated with this type of disrespect. secondly, "you'll WISH guys would holler at you because at least SOMEONE is checking you out" - I mean, what? Do you walk around WISHING someone would check you out? Believe it or not, I don't personally think about getting "checked out" nor do I consider it a positive thing to be ogled.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on
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Personally, I think everyone takes life entirely too seriously. Some pot-belly construction worker hollering at girl is doing so because he doesn’t have the balls to actually approach her and ask her out. So he’s just yucking it up with his buddies from a safe distance. It’s harmless and to take such offense to it is just plain silly.
Ignore his remarks and keep walking. Really, that’s all he expects you to do anyway. Don’t believe me? Then try stopping next time and holler some sexiest remark right back at him and he will look like a deer caught in the headlights. He’s not ready for that! (I believe they even played out that same scenario on an episode of Sex And The City.)
There is this crazy cat lady, AKA homeless woman that sits in the park with a cat on either of her legs. Anyway, she has Turrets, is drunk and probably just plain crazy. So she screams out random obscenities to every man, woman and child that passes her in the park. One day I walked by eating some fries and sipping a Coke. She yelled at me to "suck her dick." I just had to laugh. What else can you do?
One day when I'm old and gray, I will find it flattering if anyone looks my way, even if it is a pot-belly construction worker. Even if you aren't attracted to a person, it shouldn't be such a big deal if they find you attractive.
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