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Dating....who pays?
Questions for all the 20SB. Who pays for the first date? Do you offer to split? Do you expect to split? What about 2 weeks into a relationship...do you still split on dates?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shelley on -
It really just depends on the situation. If he asked you out on a date, I would expect him to pay or to split it down the middle. If you asked him then you would pay or split...or he might still want to pay for both. I would always bring money just in case. You should offer to pay your half and see if he let's you or not. A good man would never want to let you pay! I personally believe in splitting it or having him pay. I'm old fashioned like that though. But if you want to pay then go ahead! After 2 weeks of dating, I would say split or have him pay still.
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Permalink Reply by bree on -
for a first date, I would say whoever asked the other person out should pay-but I still think the other person should at least offer to at least pay half. 3 1/2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend and I still usually split.
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Permalink Reply by Oats on -
In any case.... my Sister-in-law is dating this total douche...
He orders a $40 bottle of wine, the most expensive dishes, granted it was a tapas restaurant so we really did split all the food, but while our money is coming out of a joint account, stupid sister in law pays for his meal too.
Then he takes us out for desert. She pays for him again. In fact, she pays for everything for him. He no longer works nights. He's a waiter. THat's right, he doesn't have to work nights anymore because he has a sugar-mama.
Except that she is scraping by, just finishing school.
I think if you're dating, either split it, or each of you pick up the bill every other time or so so that it sort of balances out. First date - fuck that, I'm splitting it. Well, I did split it. I'm married now, so it doesn't really matter.
Whatever.
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Permalink Reply by Jessie May Kezele on -
I think splitting is the way to go. I do not think a good man would never want to let the woman pay. I have a very good man, who I will be marrying in August, and on our first date, we split the bill with no fuss. He didn't try to make me let him pay, and I was absolutely fine with that. I am definitely not old fashioned, so perhaps I bring a different perspective to this, but I don't need a guy to pay for me. To me it just reinforces outdated gender roles.
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Permalink Reply by Kate on -
I'm definitely cool with splitting from time to time. I don't need someone to take care of me but I'm still a bit old fashioned. I like to be courted. I also do the take turns or splitting the bill when I've been dating someone a while. I definitely appreciate it when a guy who asks me out on a date pays, even when I offer.
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Permalink Reply by Holly Renee on -
Whoever is the one that asked the other out on the date is who should pay. Once it becomes a regular thing then it can be discussed (IMO).
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Permalink Reply by Jamie on -
Moving this to the correct forum. Please be aware of where you are posting.
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Permalink Reply by Coyote Tits on -
I'm cool with splitting the bill. A lot of guys don't like that, so if they grab the bill at dinner I try to get the next one. Or if they buy the movie tickets, i grab the popcorn. I want to feel like an equal in the relationship, so i should be able to pay like an equal.
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Permalink Reply by RAY J on -
Well, if a guy asks a girl out, I'd expect that he would be the one paying, as traditionally that's how it is, however I would at least offer to pay my portion when the bill came.
If a girl asks the guy out, then no, she shouldn't be expecting him to pay, as the date was her idea. Unless he grabs the bill, expect to pay it without complaint. If he does grab the bill, offer to pay for your portion and if he still insists on paying it all, just ask him if he's sure, as you weren't expecting him to.
In most cases a lot of guys (mostly ones I've known over the years) don't feel right having a girl pay for them, but they do appreciate the girl making a gesture to at least pay for her own portion during the early dating stage even though he won't let her pay a dime of it.
And girls, if he is paying for the meal, it'd be a nice gesture to at least offer to leave the tip if he won't let you pay. (or offer to buy the snacks at a movie theater if he won't let you pay for the tickets).
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
Well, I'm a lesbian and I've never dated anyone but my wife, so I do not have much experience with this. HOWEVER, I definitely have an opinion.
I think both people should pay. I mean, if one date turns into ten, take turns and surprise each other with who pays as a nice gesture. But for the first time, I think it's nice for both people to pay.
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Permalink Reply by Angela on -
I suppose I'm old fashioned in that I expect the guy to pay on our first date. After that, whoever asks the other person out should pay.
I once went on a first date, and the guy straight up asked me for money. That was our last date, although it wasn't for that reason alone.
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