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Dealing with insecurities.
Lately, I've been feeling pretty much like a failure.
I'm in my last year of undergrad... and my major is speech language pathology. However, in order to be an SLP, one must attain their masters.
I decided earlier this year that I wanted to take a year off, just to have a little break from school and enjoy life in the "real world".
The only problem with this is I can't get a job in the "real world" that pertains to my degree without my masters.
My boyfriend alternatively, is a computer engineer and was just offered a great job for after he graduates that will ultimately pay for 100% of his masters if he so chooses to obtain one (jealous!).
Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited for him... I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure and jealous that he is having all this success and I really just feel like I'm sort of going nowhere. And I know this isn't true... but I just can't shake this feeling.
So, I'm wondering, what are your insecurities? How do you deal with them, especially when they're within your relationship?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Benny on -
I've noticed that in relationships, when you're the one who "contributes less," allowing yourself to be insecure around your partner is probably the worst thing to do.
Not that I'm saying "Oh, just stop being insecure, it's easy." I know it's not. But, based on my own experiences, and experiences that I've observed, I think it's important to tell yourself that getting over your insecurities is really good for your partner.
If I had a partner who was "contributing less," I'd rather come home to a comfortable version of them, rather than a version of them who had been disliking themselves all day. For the record, I once was that partner. I had a job but it had lots of down time, which gave me lots of time to think about how the best I could do was an easy, low-paying job where I didn't have to do much of anything, while my partner was busy. But then I realized that a "better" job wouldn't save me. I owed it to myself to be confident even if I had an embarrassingly shitty job and I owed it to her, too.
Sometimes it's good to see periods of "not contributing much" as opportunities to work on having pure confidence, which will be useful even when you are "contributing more." Hope that helped!
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