Today on my blog Ramblings of a Singleton - a forum for people to share their dating / relationship stories regardless of their status - I'm featuring a great post from a guest writer. Without giving too much away - take a ramble over and check it out for yourselves - she talks about the importance of maintaining your sense of self in a relationship. It's a great concept, but I wonder how many people find themselves changing to suit their new partner? Granted, there's an element of give and take in all relationships, but what if you're changing for the worst?
This is a hard topic for me. It always has been. I think a line has to be drawn between who you ARE and your actions. It's fine to change actions for people, but never who you ARE. The difficulty lies in finding the difference between the two. Usually the areas that cause conflict within a relationship are in actions that are closely interwoven with who that person is. I have a pretty strong negative gut response to a boyfriend wanting me to change, but that's the result of growing up with a highly manipulative and controlling dad, and I am afraid of "losing myself" again.
If you're changing for the worst then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship.
I think you do end up changing a bit, but everything in life changes you in some way (your job, your friends) and I think you can change without losing yourself.