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Does age matter in relationships?
Part of a curriculum that I teach to some grade eight girls involves a discussion on dating and relationships, and when it is age appropriate, and etc. Every group of girls I've taught has had adorable and interesting things to say on the subject of "how old is too old" (or young). But I'd like to talk about it with people my own age!
What is age appropriate? Do you follow the "half your age plus seven" rule? Does age really matter at all?
What is age appropriate? Do you follow the "half your age plus seven" rule? Does age really matter at all?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tasha M. on -
My answer is fully my opinion and may sound weird to some people, but none the less, it should be respected, right?
For me, I've always had a rule. The HAS to be older then me no matter what. I know how that sounds, and I know what you must be thinking, "well what if you met someone who just HAPPENED to be younger than you, would you push the 'potential relationship aside'? sadly, I would. I know how I must sound to you and that's fine. I tried dating someone younger then me. I was 22 and he was 19 and I'll be very honest, I couldn't date him. I had to break-up with him. I actually found it 'icky'. Its like that Friends episode where Monica was dating but he was a senior in high school? It's a similar feeling. Everyone is different and we're not expected to feel the same way towards someone. There are some people who are able to look past age and go with their heart, and I say hats off to you. I, personally just couldn't. The oldest I've dated was 30 and 31. My fiance is 2 years older then me (he'll be turning 29 this year) The reason I perfered a guy to be older is simply because I feel safe. Meaning, I feel comfortable, I feel ok, I don't feel 'icky'.
I guess to answer your question, I feel that it all depends on the person. Like if you're under the age of 18 I don't think it's smart for young people to be dating. I didn't start dating till I was 21. That was a CHOICE I made - it had nothing to do with what my Mom felt was right or not. I was happy tho so it didn't matter much to me. Till something happened to me when I was 23 that made me view men very differently. I guess for people around our age, again, it all depends on YOU etc not based on what others think. Granted, my choice for ending things when I was 22 with that 19 year old make twist my answer but as long as you see my point somewhere in this mess of an answer.
Thats my two cents -
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Permalink Reply by Peppers on -
I agree with you. I also think it's a 20s thing. Women in their 20s want older guys because guys at the same age in their 20s usually aren't "up to par."
Age definitely matters throughout all ages when it comes to, for instance, Hugh Hefner dating Kendra Wilkinson type of situations. HAHA. I love Kendra... but... 18 yr old bang an 80 year old? I don't think so, not me anyway. -
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Permalink Reply by Miss K on -
I think age matters to a certain extent, depending on the age gap but I guess it really depends on the situation. I for one don't follow the half your age plus seven thing because I just can't allow myself to even look twice at someone that much younger than me. I'm 23 so according to that rule I could date someone who is 18.5, which is way too young for me even though it's only 4 and half years. If we went out he couldn't even buy me a drink (not that he would be allowed into the bar in the first place). Recently I was at a party where a 19 year old and a 20 year old were each talking to me, trying to exchange numbers, etc. This happens to me a lot because I look much younger than I really am but I just can't get involved with someone that young. The youngest I would go is maybe 21 but I still would prefer it if a guy were my age or older. The oldest I would consider is 5-7 years older....it depends. With all that said I guess age does matter, to me at least.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
I don't think age matters.
Example...
My grandma was 13 and my grandpa was 20 when they fell in love. They waited and when my grandma was old enough, they got married.
My mom and her first husband (he died of a heart attack) were seven years apart, I believe. She was 17, so he was 24.
My mom and my dad were six years apart. She was older.
My sister and her husband are three years apart, I think. Three or four. She's in her 40s, he's in his 50s.
My other sister and her boyfriend are around ten years apart, I believe. She's in her 40s, he's in his 50s... Maybe even 60s. I can't remember.
So, to me, age is just a number. I have seen so many family members in love with people older and younger than them. I think relationships depend ONLY on people. Not race, religion, age, etc. -
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Permalink Reply by Adrienne H on -
I don't mean to be rude but the 13 and 20 thing kinda creeps me out. I'm glad they waited but what does a 20-year-old guy see in a little girl?
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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They were in love. Like I said, they waited until she was old enough to get married. I'm not sure what they saw in each other, sadly I never got to talk to them much as I was a little girl when they were in their 70s and 80s. I guess love? They saw love in each other.
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Permalink Reply by Mike DiGrande on -
What is age appropriate?
I feel like this is an impossible question to answer because it depends on your parenting style, whether or not you are a parent (I am not), and that no matter what you think might be appropriate for your child, your guideline will probably be subverted by your child with clandestine make out sessions. I know this isn't a real answer but I honestly don't have a clear one to this quesiton.
Do you follow the "1/2 Your Age + 7 Rule?"
At my age (22) it's more the "Are You 18?" rule. But I certainly don't have an problem with that guideline.
Does age generally matter at all?
In terms of sex, absolutely. But if both parties are legal adults, I think the question of age shifts more towards maturity rather than birthday candles. When I was 21 I was dating someone that was 19. Although we clicked on a great deal of things, we definitely had certain road blocks when it came to life experience. I was leaving college and she was just starting out, and while I don't think 3 years is a huge span of time, hindsight has shown me it can be when it comes to perspective/life goals.
Long story short, I think age will always matter because it's always a variable to consider when you meet someone, but I don't ever think it's the end all be all. -
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Permalink Reply by Brian E on -
I'm 24 and it's kind of morphed to the, "are you 21?" rule. Just because it'd be a major drag not being able to go anywhere more interesting than Applebee's with a girlfriend because she's underage. Not that bars are any major, amazing thing I just can't live without, but I'm past the point of wanting to deal with the situation.
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Permalink Reply by Adrienne H on
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1/2 your age plus 7 rule? So a 60-year-old divorced guy looking for a second marriage should be shooting for a 37-year-old? Gross.
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Permalink Reply by Erin McCarthy on -
You know, I think that an age difference of 19 and 21 matters more than the difference between 25 and 35 thanks to our friend college. It's just like you said, you were leaving and she was starting and for university life that means soooooooooo much.
Two of my best dudes are dating woman 20 years older than them. And my sister's girlfriend is 10 years younger.
It's never worked for me personally but I've only dated older men when I was in college.
I won't say age doesn't matter because it really does at the start and at the end of our life cycle. -
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