I'm really curious about this, if a person has high/strict standard when it comes to dating does it make them a snob?  Does it matter if they can justify their standards, or what the standards are?



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I think it all depends on how they act about it. If they act snobby about their high standards, then yes, obviously that would make them a snob. But if they are nice and just keep their high standards, then no, it does not make them a snob.

Basically, it all comes down to attitude.

Like what Rachel said, it depends on how you act. If you treat someone who is below your standards like dirt... then yeah, you're kind of a snob. 


I think it's okay to have standards, but I think too many standards are also dangerous. If you're being picky about the way he chews or if he forgets to tuck his shirt in sometimes... that's a bit extreme and that person might not find anyone who will really make them happy. No one is perfect. Even if they have a few flaws, they can still be great for you. But if it's a religious thing or something that actually matters for you to be happy, then I think standards are a good thing to have and you should let the man know that if he wants to be with you, then he better live up to them.


Simply Kate

 depends of course on the person. 

If some uneducated big fat slob of a person, dull of wit, and of average intelligence, sets a standard by which they date only aesthetically pleasing, witty people with wonderful taste and impeccable hygiene, it's snobby, but if someone who is themselves witty, educated, hygenically pristine, clever, and aesthetically pleasing,  has certain preferences as far as to their dating partners I think it perfectly acceptable.


I mean, if your teeth are rotten and you won't date someone with rotten teeth you are a snob, but if your teeth are perfect and you like to keep them that way, you have the right to ask that of the people you date.

By that logic, because I am white I should be able to hold other people not being white against them.  I have the right to ask the other people I date and associate with to be white too.  I think you are confusing hypocrites with snobs.  Not being a hypocrite does not make on immune from being a snob, which is what you are implying.  Those opinions are snobbish whether you live up to them yourself, or you don't.


I mean, if I say people who don't own multimillionare dollar houses are dirt, it doesn't make it any less snobbish because I own a multimillionare dollar house.

I agree with what you are both saying. 


I think it depends on the hypocrite, if they realize how they are acting and are only willing to date certain people so they can take advantage of it makes them a snob |and a gold digger|.


But just because I have nice teeth doesn't mean that me expecting someone else to have perfect teeth can't be snobby.


I think what we usually think of as a snobby girl | stereotypically at least| is the preppy rich person who will only  talk to other preppy rich people.  so is the stereotype wrong then? is the preppy rich person not truly a snob because they are only expecting what they expect from themselves? 

no i dont think it makes them snobby...i know that i have high standards. i think it is how you go about showing your standards. if you are rude and overly showing it...then yes...if you are humble and just try to figure things out as you get them then no.



I think this question is almost funny because everyone is attracted to some people and not attracted to others. There is nothing "snobby" about that. Obviously if you go around saying that you only want to date ambitious, articulate, good-looking people, you will come across as a snob. But that doesn't mean you will be attracted to someone who is unemployed, has no goals, can't express themselves, and is hideous, and you are not a snob for feeling that way.


Then again, if what you are talking about here is that a person you might date would have to meet really specific qualifications (eg. tall blond rich doctor), you are probably kidding yourself because two people can form a connection regardless of background or profession. Time will show you this, just wait and see.

I think where I really stand on it is that it depends on the standards.  


I don't think it is snobby to want someone who is ambitious |Its really my #1 thing it is a very strong trait that I have| but if your standards are physical and you turn down everyone who doesn't meet them that is snobby. 

I think "snobby" and "standards" are the wrong words for what you are describing. You are describing being compatible. If you strongly value work ethic and ambition, then you will of course need to be with someone who shares those values or you will not be compatible, and this incompatibility will come out in a thousand different ways in an intimate relationship. There is absolutely no question that you can only date someone who shares your core values and with whom you are compatible.


Being snobby is different than this. It's thinking "I don't want to have anything to do with that person because he is not rich/good-looking/from the right part of town." If you value primarily superficial things (i.e. are a snob), you will always be dissatisfied in everything you do, not just dating, because there will always be someone, somewhere who is richer/better-looking/from an even better part of town. You won't be able to win that game.

That's what Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker (on Bravo TV; it's one of my favorite reality shows :P) calls the bigger better deal. Always looking to trade up and nothing/no one is ever good enough. It's sad, really, that there are people like that. Who are they do judge? Who is anyone to judge another human being, for that matter? 
It doesn't MAKE You snobby but unforutnately a lot of times people view that as snobby. IT's so messed up... but you know how people are. Who cares if people think you are snobby??? KEEP UP THE STANDARDS!!!!!!!!
As long as their standards are realistic for themselves, not at all.


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