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Experience with Antidepressants?
I was surprised at how few discussions there were in the forum about antidepressants and stress, anxiety, depression etc. Today I blogged about my experience, which I don't talk about a lot. I'd love to get a conversation going about other's experiences with this kind of stuff. You can check it out here: http://emilyslastword.blogspot.com/2010/05/zoloft-my-lovehate-affai...
I have been on Zoloft for 8 years (for anxiety and panic disorder) and have gone down significantly and will be trying to go off it completely soon. I feel like I'm at a point where I have learned how to deal with anxiety and I think I can manage it on my own now. Has anyone had success going off of antidepressants? How has your life changed as a result? Are you glad you went on the meds or do you regret it? I have mixed feeling about this.
I have been on Zoloft for 8 years (for anxiety and panic disorder) and have gone down significantly and will be trying to go off it completely soon. I feel like I'm at a point where I have learned how to deal with anxiety and I think I can manage it on my own now. Has anyone had success going off of antidepressants? How has your life changed as a result? Are you glad you went on the meds or do you regret it? I have mixed feeling about this.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
My wife just started taking antidepressants on the 13th. She's had severe depression since she was 11, but her parents never really believed her. During a trip to the doctor for an in-grown toenail, she mentioned her depression and the doctor prescribed her Celexa. She made sure that she told him she wanted something that wouldn't make her "fake" happy. Her first choice is Lexapro, but as my in-laws are paying, we had to go a cheaper route sadly.
She doesn't feel they are really working that well yet, though the doctor told her Celexa can take up to a month to start working and he told me to watch for any suicidal thoughts, stronger depression symptoms, etc., etc.
She also has severe anxiety. Playing WoW (World of Warcraft) in a group or during an event is very hard for her, walking on a side walk with a few people around is hard, going to the mall or library or the movies is hard. The doctor said the Celexa should help with that, as the depression and anxiety are probably linked.
As for me, I don't *think* I have depression. However, I know I have extreme paranoia and anxiety. I also do have times where I get into very, very low and down moods even if nothing "bad" is happening (aka: no job loss, no fighting in our families, bills are being paid, etc.) and I'll often run completely out of energy. Not really sure what that is, I'll need to talk to my doctor.
Honestly, I am so so grateful that Jen and I have each other. When she's depressed, I do whatever I can to help her smile and laugh. When I'm excessively worrying about something, she'll help me calm down and realize nothing is wrong. We help each other a lot which I think is very, very important. ^_^
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Permalink Reply by Sara Nipples on -
She probably just doesn't feel anything yet because it definitely does take a month to kick in. I took antidepressants for a few years, and that's usually how it works. Hopefully you both get to feeling better soon, though!
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Permalink Reply by Oats on -
I'm not really surprised that there aren't more discussions about depression mostly because no one wants to admit that they're depressed. For many, they can blame it on situational problems such as joblessness or economy, etc. But when push comes to shove, you have to recognize that there is still a huge stigma about mental health, and yes, even in this forum.
In the past week I've seen one person reference something about hallucinating being clearly "schizophrenic" and I've also seen quotes and lines about "you can only be as happy as you want to be" which is just another 'pulling yourself up by the bootstraps' statement that works well for those living perfect lives, but for those of us who have a mental illness and have been attacked by that impenetrable impeding gloom or crippled by anxiety, we know that mental illnesses are very real and very physical, and furthermore, looking at the bright side of things still manages to be depressing and it just feels like you're pretending whenever you smile because you probably are.
I've been on a plethora of anti-depressants. It started because of insomnia, when I was prescribed Remeron. That didn't help my sleeplessness so I ceased taking it. Several years later in graduate school, I couldn't get past the feeling that everyone was out to get me and that I'm never going to succeed in that environment. I became very depressed and found it difficult to make it to many of my classes. It's amazing that I even got B's. But I went to student health and saw a resident psychiatrist. She put me on Lexapro, Zoloft, Celexa, Depakote, Wellbutrin, and Cymbalta, none of which helped. Actually they all made me worse, however I know the horrible side effects each of them cause. Especially sexual side effects. Zoloft in particular prevented me from ever reaching an orgasm. Not my idea of a good time.
Then I had a major attack where I kind of went crazy, self injuring repeatedly, not sleeping for over 14 days, having crazy irrational thoughts such as thinking I could control things with my mind, blah blah blah - going into full details is just plain embarrassing because it's so irrational that it should have been obvious I wasn't right. So I wound up in the mental hospital where I was diagnosed with Bipolar, and then switched off of Cymbalta and put on the dreaded Effexor (worst withdrawal ever), lithium, and geodon (antipsychotic). Since then I've switched a few things and am currently on Lithium (mood stabilizer), Wellbutrin (anti-depressant), Ativan (anti-anxiety), Vyvanse (stimulant), Abilify (atypical/antipsychotic), and some other stuff for other problems.
I've gained about 20lbs, but I lost about 15 of it when I started working out 4-5 days a week at the gym as well as changing my diet, cutting the size of portions as well as eating healthier. I'm back down one pants size and can fit in my old clothes. I do have to get regular blood tests for the abilify and the lithium, but it's not that big of a deal. I see a therapist once every other week and see my pdoc every other month.
Coming off of medications is not an option for me, so often I have to treat the side effects with other medications. That kinda sucks, but I deal with it. It has majorly changed my life, being heavily medicated. I'm not as fun as I used to be. I'm very inhibited and introverted when I used to be very extroverted. But I also used to spend weeks at a time leaving the bed only for bathroom breaks and food. It's a trade-off. I'm mostly happy with being stable.
My only recommendation is to make sure your doctor knows that you are decreasing your dose and coming off that medication. Also, there are other medications out there that can help. You may just need something like Klonopin (anti-anxiety) to keep the edge off the anxiety, which has little to no side effects compared to something like Zoloft.
And last, are you seeing a GP or an actual psychiatrist? Before coming off completely, if you're not seeing a psychiatrist, I would recommend it. They will know what options are best for you. I do not think that Zoloft is a good choice if it is killing your sex drive, especially since there are other medications out there that are not SSRIs and do not have that same effect. Best of luck!
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Permalink Reply by Shinxy on -
"But when push comes to shove, you have to recognize that there is still a huge stigma about mental health, and yes, even in this forum."
Oh yeah, I remember back on that mental illness thread a while back. There were a few responses making fun of Schizophrenia. And I see just general comments in here making fun of people who are 'crazy' and 'schizo' and 'mental' and stuff.
I'm not sure that depression has that much stigma towards it these days, because it's got practically all the funding and organisations dedicated to it. People seem to just accept depression. Coming out to people that you're depressed is a lot different than coming out to people that you're psychotic.
Also, I personally didn't have the sex drive killing with Zoloft.
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on -
I was severely depressed- suicidal even as a teenager and I was put on prozac/fluoxetine for 2 years. I was numb to the world- I couldn't laugh, i couldn't cry, everything was bland and blah. Instead of helping to deal with my issues, it just made me incapable of feeling anything at all. I felt like a zombie most of the time. I could look at Rotten.com and feel absolutely nothing. It helped because it made me just not care anymore but i think the bad outweighed the good in the long term.
When I moved countries and saw a different GP, they immediately took me off the prozac and switched me to lexapro. I lasted all of about a month on lexapro. I suffered from horrible stomach aches and light-sensitive migraines. I was having to go home from school early at least twice a week because I'd get so sick from it. They tried to tell me the side effects would wear off after a few months, but the depression seemed to be coming back with a vengeance on it too.
Then they switched me to Zoloft. Baaaaaaaaaad idea. I was only on it for a month. it made me even more depressed, and extremely aggressive. I walked around in a permanent temper. there was this crazy rage that boiled inside of me constantly (my depression rarely showed itself as sadness- it was more often as anger or dismay) and I became very physically aggressive towards others.
After that, I said I was done. I wasn't going to try anymore medications. it didn't matter what they offered me, i wasn't going to do it. I wanted to feel normal again- I felt more crazy on the meds than I thought I would being off them. I agreed to go into counseling and its the best choice I've ever made. I spent from 16-20 in weekly therapy. I saw various psychiatrists who all had different diagnosis- one said I was bipolar, another said bipolar with tendencies towards borderline personality disorder, another said ADD, but the only one I ever really agreed with was major depression with severe anxiety. The counseling helped me change my attitude about a lot of things in my life, helped me learn to look at problems from several different perspectives rather than just the victim perspective, it taught me to take a deep breath and learn to just step away from the situation sometimes. It took a lot to get to the point where I felt I didn't need it anymore. And it's taken even more to get to the point that I'm at now- where I've taught myself to ignore the negative, and to always look at everything as an experience to learn from regardless of whether its good or not. I'll honestly admit, every day is a struggle. I have to force myself to smile sometimes. I have to remind myself not to flip out about the little things. I have to remember that people don't see me the way I see myself. I feel healthier knowing that I'm not relying on a little tablet to get me through every day. There are times when I've used PRN's very sparingly, but they're extreme cases (ie- when a family member I was very close with died) and these days I would much rather just work through my issues knowing that it'll make me stronger in the long run.
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Permalink Reply by Shinxy on
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I have severe depression with strong suicidal tendencies, social anxiety, general anxiety, schizophrenia, eating disorder etc. (the list goes on)
Meds are the only thing that have ever helped me.
I've tried every therapy out there. Nothing has even remotely helped. People have been pushing therapy on me since I was eight, and I'm pretty darn sick of people trying to use CBT on me or telling me I just don't have a positive attitude.
I am glad I went on meds. I am pissed that they didn't put me on them sooner.
However, being on antipsychotics, I have a lot of side effects from my meds. I pretty much hate them, but most people think I'm more well when I'm on them. If I don't get at least 12 hours sleep a night, I spend the entire day falling asleep. But if I wasn't on them, I'd be getting virtually no sleep and being the suicidal bunny that I am, I'd prefer to not be awake and experiencing the horror that is life so I can deal with sleeping so much. I was on another antipsychotic, respiridone (sp?), and I was a zombie all day and all night. That was no fun. I'm on Zeldox at the moment (Geodon in the US I think).
I was on Zoloft for two and a half years, and it helped my anxiety. I was still suicidal as heck though (although not as much). I switched to Effexor recently (a little pissed of that nobody told me about how awful it is to come off them, I'm not looking forward to that) and I haven't noticed much of a difference. Again, most people think I'm better on them but I'm still suicidal as heck.
Oh, and I tried Lexapro and hated it. Also ever since my boyfriend's been on Lexapro, he's been a total prick. I'm not a fan of Lexapro.
The meds don't help much, but they help more than anything else I've tried. I'm very glad I have them. I know I wouldn't be here without them. And I'm a lot more social than I was (even though I'm still greatly inhibited).
Like Oats, going off my meds is probably not in my future.
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Permalink Reply by Oats on
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I'd have to say, nothing irritates me more than when someone tells me that "I can only be as happy as I make myself" or something along those lines.
My dad used to tell me, when I was depressed, that I just need to cheer up and look at the bright side of things. He even gave me some Earl Nightingale motivational CDs to listen to... which for shits and giggles I did. I then mixed them with some other music and now have motivational techno... but anyway, it's that "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps" shit that I just cannot tolerate.
Don't you think that I want to be happy? Don't you think I would give anything to be happy? I try, but no matter what I do, I am stuck. Stuck in this head of mine that cannot let go, will not allow for happiness.
Another irritant of mine is "It's a chemical imbalance". No, in fact, it is not. It has been established that most severe mental illnesses are caused by a rewiring of neurons in the brain. It is not a chemical imbalance in the brain. This is why medications don't "cure" the illnesses and only treat them.
On another note... I wonder why it is that people with a major mental illness (as classified by the DSM-IV or V) typically have symptoms of a multitude of conditions, like anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, etc. I rarely come across someone that JUST has bipolar or schizophrenia. ??
And last; I would like to point out how awesome significant others to those with mental health issues are. Not only is it mentally draining, but it can be physically draining and financially draining for them too. If only everyone else were like them >:)
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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"And last; I would like to point out how awesome significant others to those with mental health issues are. Not only is it mentally draining, but it can be physically draining and financially draining for them too. If only everyone else were like them >:)"
To be quite honest, as I am a wife of someone with depression and anxiety, I don't think it's mentally, physically or really financially draining. The fact is, my wife is my better half. She truly, truly is. I have never felt drained by her, I am there for her always and she is the best thing in my life. In fact, I couldn't be happier to help her in any way I can. That covers mentally and physically... As for financially, I don't think something that is going to help her is draining whatsoever.
If I had a million dollars and she needed something that cost a million dollars, you can bet I'd give every cent towards it.
Not really taking offense to your words, just trying to speak up as a wife. I just don't find my wife draining... It's a "negative" sounding trait and to be quite honest, we've been together seven years and she doesn't have any negative traits in my opinion. :)
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Permalink Reply by Oats on
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As much as my wife loves me, when I'm in a mixed state with rage, there's only so much that she can handle of my irrational accusations, the snide remarks, and vocalization of my disposition, and the other times when I just can't get out of bed and she has to physically drag me around the house to get me up for the day.
If we had a million dollars, we'd have no problem making ends meet, but the fact is that we don't. She's had to pick up a second job just to get me insurance when I was unemployed and unemployable because my medications were costing $1500/month. Even with insurance meds are about $500/month. So between my medical expenses and our combined loans, we have to basically be able to cover our monthly rent x4... just to get by.
I'm not saying that everyone with a mental illness is mentally, physically, and financially draining, I'm just saying that I really appreciate the people like my wife who is sticking around despite the mental, physical and financial strain that my illness imposes on her.
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Permalink Reply by Shinxy on
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Yeah, like when I get paranoid and start talking about radio stations and the government and decide to sleep with a knife in my hand, or if I freak out within the first five minutes of a party or function and we have to leave and I drag him away from his friends, or I get obsessive and start buying heaps of Hitler documentaries so I can't afford my train ticket or accommodation, then it's a strain on him. Or if I get upset and start talking about how I no longer have the will to live, that I'm hoping something will come along and kill me, then it's a huge strain on him.
I think it depends a lot on the severity of the illness. Mine's at the point where I can't work, so I'd be a lot harder to deal with than someone who's fine if they take a pill every day.
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Permalink Reply by Shinxy on
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Motivational CDs? Ugh. One of my exes pushed them on me. I couldn't bear to watch or listen to them. It was pretty much a dealbreaker.
"Don't you think that I want to be happy? Don't you think I would give anything to be happy? I try, but no matter what I do, I am stuck. Stuck in this head of mine that cannot let go, will not allow for happiness."
That's exactly right. I had a friend from here tell me I was faking and that the reason my life sucks is because I'm not positive enough. Along with a whole barrage of insults. That was fun. I am really sick of that attitude. Blame the victim, great idea.
I wonder that about major mental illnesses too.
And yes, when our partners are being nice to us, they are awesome. I'm in a tricky situation, my partner has depression and takes it out on me, whereas I'm the stronger one of the two of us. But, when he can be there for me he's wonderful. I don't know how I would have dealt with five years of med changes and personality changes with those med changes. But he's stuck around, and that's amazing.
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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey on -
I was on anti-depressants (lexapro) for two years to help me control my obsessive compulsive hypochondria. I also had sedatives for panic attacks.
The entire time I was taking them I was going through therapy and counseling with both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. By the time I went off of them, I had managed to get in under control. I've been off of them for 3 years now and it is mostly under control. I still have small relapses now and then.
The biggest issues I faced on lexapro were headaches, especially when my doses changed, and some sexual problems. It ultimately led to the end of one relationship, but the next relationship helped my find buddhism which led to an even stronger control of my condition. I don't regret taking them. They're a means of helping you live your life while getting your condition under control. My partner takes effexor for depression and he is afraid to go off of it because of how intense the detox is. He's also afraid that the depression will return if he goes off them. I really don't think its wise to take antidepressants for your entire life, but I'm not a psychologist and I don't know what to do about it.
It sounds like you're ready to take the big leap off of them. All I can say is make sure your family, friends, partner and counselor know and that they're ready to support you. Because it isn't easy and it isn't quick. Also, you need to make sure that your anxiety and panic is in check before too long. Best of luck my friend.
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