The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Forum Discussion Gone Bad: what's your story?
As an NYC food blogger, I love taking every opportunity to jump into forums, ask questions and make dining suggestions. I always feel great when someone replies with something like, “Thanks! I’m excited to check that place out!” because I feel like I've done my part. I most recently set up a profile on the well-respected NYC “Midtown Lunch” site. I was super psyched to participate in their forums, and immediately replied to a string entitled “Need Chinese Food Suggestion.” I had just reviewed an amazing ramen/soup bar a few weeks back on my blog, and although I knew the place was predominantly Japanese, there were a few solid Chinese dishes on the menu. Being not very careful with my words, I said:
“Really great authentic Chinese/Japanese restaurant over on 55th between 5th and Ave of the Americas. It's called Menchanko-Tei. They serve up an awesome selection of ramen and noodle dishes, along with the usual fried rice, etc… Enjoy!”
Yep, I dared to say “Chinese/Japanese” instead of “Japanese with a few Chinese dishes.” Hell soon broke loose:
ML Blogger: “wow.. um... i guess that passes as a recommendation... i mean Menchanko-Tei only has one (i think?) Chinese-inspired dish on their menu and it is the cha shu men. But the flavors are wholly Japanese. Actually what am I saying Menchanko-tei isn't at all Chinese!”
I was hurt. The guy was a prick and now the entire internet could see my naive mistake. I also couldn't delete it. So what do I do? Instead of keeping positive, sucking it up and saying, “yeah, you’re totally right. There are fewer Chinese dishes than I thought,” I had to be a complete baby, give in, and write back:
“No need to be an asshole about it. Sheesh.”
To make a long thread short, other people contributed their comments, the first blogger blew up at me again, some people defended me, some didn’t, and it all ended with this:
Blogger #3: “Hopefully "Savvy Soybean" has gone home to play on her own blog. sheesh.”
Of course, being the sensitive person that I am, I was embarrassed and hurt. I shoud’ve never replied to such rudeness and condescension in the first place, but now it blew up into something ridiculous that everyone can see. Did my entire image of a happy, positive blogger go up in smoke with just one thread?
Have you ever written something on the web that you regret?
Have you ever gotten into a heated back-and-forth on a forum? If so, how did it end?
Thanks and I very much look forward to reading your responses!
- Samantha
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by tee. on -
Totally been there. A few years back I was on an itty-bitty social networking site where the forums were very popular. I was new, young, and trying to be big and bad so I acted childish in participated in a lot of the many roasts (people would post pictures off of someone's profile and insults would ensue. ...I know. Again, I was young!). I guess someone got sick of my comments because soon after there was a discussion up where the whole site was roasting me! I posted all night trying to defend myself, going as far as insulting all the people who participated in the thread. It was so embarrassing that I deleted my account. It was the first time I was truly, deeply hurt by what others said about me. And I am far from a sensitive person.
Forums can get intense sometimes. Comments just seem ten times more harsh in print. You really just have to take a moment, walk away if you have to, and come back with a dignified response. It's the only way. I would've said the same thing if I was in your position and responded right away. But if I waited a bit it probably would have sounded more like "Well, one dish is enough to report about in my opinion. Regardless, it's a great restaurant!" :)
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Permalink Reply by The Savvy Soybean on -
Tee, you're completely right. That also would've been a much, much better response. Haste+anger never mix well. Ouch, your situation sounded like it was harsh!! Good thing you deleted that account! And I agree, everything sounds colder in print. I think, if anything, it's been a good learning experience.
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Permalink Reply by The Savvy Soybean on
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Ohh he banned you, Alex!
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Permalink Reply by nicopolitan on -
For a newbie, Alex, you sure are giving some pro bloggy advice.
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Permalink Reply by leilani on -
To answer your question about writing things I regret - all the time. Usually on blogs/20sb I am procrastinating so I don't really think thoroughly about my word choice... and kind of ramble as I am doing now. The point is: the person who replied to you in that way *probably* didn't mean to sound so harsh, just as you might not have phrased your thoughts that way if you'd thought it through or whatever.
I don't think you can get distressed over it - ultimately, these are people who don't really know you - unless of course they are people who do know you. Which is often my issue as I frequently forget that some of my colleagues and superiors are on twitter and say anything that pops into my head, often failing to delete these poorly chosen comments in a timely manner. It happens.
I would say not to worry and who knows, some of us may find your passion for inconsequential internet debate appealing! As I shall now check out the blog! :)
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