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Guys, I need your opinon...
Okay guys, so I am having to take care of my best friend who just got dumped by her boyfriend. They started dating two months ago and everything was going perfectly until he wouldn't quit smoking pot (which - at the beginning of the relationship she told him was a deal breaker and he told her that he wanted to quit because she was more important to him then pot. She never asked him to change, but she did warn him up front that she didn't like it). They got into a huge fight and he broke it off with her. Well really he told her they were on a break - but has taken their relationship off facebook and completely quit talking to her.
So here is my question: She is obviously distraught as they both fell for each other quickly (I love you's were thrown around prematurely if you ask me). He just graduated from college and is having to find a "real job" and is having a hard time with transitioning from the party lifestyle of a college student to a more grown up life style. Her and I both think that he broke things off with her because, although he was attracted to her and liked the idea of her, when the reality set in - he couldn't handle it. And instead of continuing to hurt her - he just decided to end things. Are we looking to much into it? I can't help but think that guys are so simple - that maybe we are just creating this complex analysis to make her feel better and what the truth really is is that he is just being an asshole and didn't want to give up partying to be with her. What do you think?
So here is my question: She is obviously distraught as they both fell for each other quickly (I love you's were thrown around prematurely if you ask me). He just graduated from college and is having to find a "real job" and is having a hard time with transitioning from the party lifestyle of a college student to a more grown up life style. Her and I both think that he broke things off with her because, although he was attracted to her and liked the idea of her, when the reality set in - he couldn't handle it. And instead of continuing to hurt her - he just decided to end things. Are we looking to much into it? I can't help but think that guys are so simple - that maybe we are just creating this complex analysis to make her feel better and what the truth really is is that he is just being an asshole and didn't want to give up partying to be with her. What do you think?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
Yes, you're analyzing too much into it.
While I don't know this dude personally, I do know guys in general. I'm guessing he is around 22ish since he just graduated? So at 22, a lot of guys have trouble transitioning from the "frat boy/party lifestyle” to a more "adult-like/have a real job lifestyle."
And while I’m on her side thinking smoking pot is extremely lame and immature once you’ve passed your college days, I have to point this out...
If there is one thing guys of ANY age hate, it's nagging. So if this girl was on him about giving up pot, there's a good chance he choose to give up being nagged rather than pot. I know, I worded that kind of cold. And I'm sorry, but sometimes being blunt (pun not intended) helps. ;)
It’s obvious to me this guy is pretty immature. And more than likely he is not thinking much about this breakup like she is. For him, it’s over and done with. He wants to smoke a fatty and kick it all carefree. While she wants him to grow up and take the relationship serious. Simply put - he doesn’t want hassled. He’s still young and wants to have fun. He’s probably feeling the stress of adjusting to life after college, looking for a job, perhaps getting pressure from his parents, money troubles, etc. So he decided to eliminate one of the stress in his life – her.
Tell her to look at the brightside. She never liked that aspect of him and wanted him to change from day 1! Even if she never specifically asked him to change, he knew she didn't approve and that led to the tension in the relationship. Pot heads should date pot heads. And non-pot heads should date non-pot heads. It just works out better.
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Permalink Reply by Peppers on -
Honestly, I think they are just two different kinds of people that don't go well together. It is probably hard for him that she looks down upon things that he enjoys doing (smoking pot). People usually like to date other people who enjoy the same things in life that they do. After she gets over this initial breakup she'll probably realize he wasn't right for her anyway and she'll bounce right back. If it was only 2 months it's not like their lives were deeply intertwined.
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Permalink Reply by Rebecca on -
People keep saying "it was only 2 months" but guys - I'm telling you - their lives were plenty intertwined. They practically lived together after a week of meeting. I know its insane (and something i'd never do) and is probably what led to their inevitable break up - but its still devastating to her just the same.
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Permalink Reply by Benny on -
Yeah I kind of picked up on that... That's why I've treaded lightly and think that being blunt with her wouldn't help, you know?
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Permalink Reply by Emryl Ashley Kovakan aka Pilgrim on -
Break ups suck. But, they happen. You just have to move on.
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Permalink Reply by Emryl Ashley Kovakan aka Pilgrim on
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really now?
reeeaaaallly now?????
http://textbookfairytale.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-thought-of-her-toda...
^ breaking up, that's written by me a week ago.
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Permalink Reply by Kellie on -
I don't think guys are as simple as we think they are.. then again maybe I'm jaded by my super complicated (irritatingly so) boyfriend.
Maybe he truly did want to stop.. but ultimately he made the choice. It seems like a short relationship to have already started the I love you thing, then again, one of my best friends proposed to his girlfriend after two weeks. Anyhow, it seems like she can do better than this guy. There are plenty of fish in the sea.. well, not in the gulf anymore..
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Permalink Reply by Warlito Baya on -
no commentzzzz
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Permalink Reply by Mr. Apron on -
I think all involved (including everyone who's answered up till me) should smoke some pot.
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Permalink Reply by Estelle Nagel on -
Dear Becca
OK. He's a pothead. He's unemployed. He dumped her. He is ignoring her like a douche nozzle. Does he also not replace the last roll of toilet paper? Did he kill Harry Potter's parents? What more do you need to know? He's an asshole. Your friend shouldn't obsess over what went wrong and thank her lucky stars it's over. She dated an asshole. We've all BEEN there. SOMEONE has to date the assholes.
Usually it's me.
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Permalink Reply by Carina the Blogarina on -
Asshole. That's what I'm reading
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