healing after a breakup

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kris on August 31, 2010 at 1:58am

Cutting off contact is the best idea... but there's something satisfying about eventually realizing you no longer want to stalk his profile pics, no longer care how hot the new girl is and, best of all, fail to respond to the message he sends you about missing you.

Not that it's worth it, mind you. There is always that between time.

My blog is Because or Why Not. I've never blogged there through a break up but may I recommend this post as relevant to the conversation?

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Janie on August 31, 2010 at 2:11am

I went through a break up last October. I am a person who is incredibly serious in relationships, I got really invested, we were talking about the future and when it all went to hell I felt like I had my entire life plan torn away from me. I was in love, I didn't understand, I felt ripped off, and I am only just now, 11 months later, coming to terms with it and feeling like a life with someone else and moving on is even possible. I take a long time with these things though, and I know it takes most people less time than it takes me. Good luck - please reach me through my email if you want to vent, share stories, bitch, whatever. I know the pain and I'll be there for you if you need a friend!

http://monstergirlwrites.blogspot.com/

P.S. Things that really helped me:
- Him moving away (running the risk of bumping into him would have sucked, and knowing he was away by himself and not with his bevvy of "women friends" really helped)
- Supportive friends and going out with them as much as possible, especially at first. (I seriously went wedding dress shopping with my best friend two days after the break up, it was insane that I got through that but having friends that don't exclude you from stuff like that is great.)
- DISTRACTION. This means involving television shows that aren't too relationship based, that go for several seasons and that are out in box sets. Believe me, these are your saviour. Also, addictive and involving video games. I recommend Plants vs Zombies, that was my "break up game". Bones and Buffy were my break up television shows, from memory.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ethony on August 31, 2010 at 2:57am

It takes as long as it takes but here are some things that have helped me through my recent breakup and trust me when I say that it was an EPIC breakup, I didn't want to move or do anything and pretty much felt like junk for ages and 6 months later I am still recovering.

Journaling - this was excellent, a journal does not judge and it is really therapeutic
Be Around Amazing People
Try and Get Moving
Read Good Books
Avoid anything to do with them and avoid the TV and the Radio as well for a while.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Estelle Nagel on August 31, 2010 at 5:50am

RECALL: Your hardest or most memorable break up (open to STRICTLY FRIENDSHIPS or DATING RELATIONSHIPS AS WELL)

Well, I'm going through this really crappy divorce, where my husband is hauling my furniture out and then bouncing back with a cheery "you are still my best friend" and then calling me a bitch who only wants his money etc etc. It's very difficult, up and down, and you're stuck with constant reminders and painful memories.

RECALL: WHAT helped you get through the difficult time (OR WHAT MADE THE TIME LESS DIFFICULT?)

Blogging and alcohol

And how do you handle the struggle of dumping/being dumped?

I try to remind myself that it really ISNT about me...I couldn't have done anything better or different to "save it".

And how long did it take for you to stop thinking about this particular individual??

I'll probably always think of him.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Anna-Grace Veal on August 31, 2010 at 1:54pm

currently wallowing in a break up. feel free to read my sorrows..

affableannagrace.blogspot.com

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Chulo on August 31, 2010 at 4:25pm

my answer's too shallow... (but true)

breaking up with that person was hard because I went out with him for about 3 yrs and we're supposed to get married that yr... the PAIN was more of missing the times together (the routine)(no more phone calls, no more morning reminders to have breakfast) (no more take care stuffs), but i guess, we've both moved on while still in the relationship so it was easier for me to jump to a yet another relationship --- my boyfriend right after him is my current 4yr boyfriend --- my so called rebound guy, and we're getting married for real this time :D

thetinytincan.blogspot.com

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Chetreanna White on September 1, 2010 at 9:08pm

yeah well i do not recognize what you wrote as SHALLOW at all. The comfort that comes from being loved and sought is to me one of the hardest things to let go of. But I think that it showed me how much I really didn't WANT to be with him as much as it showed me I was USING him for the feeling it gave me. I can admit it is a bit selfish but HE could be any guy in this same situation with me and I do not doubt I'd have struggled with coming to terms with the absence of this grand IDEA of us, marriage, a future. Much was invested and therefore I was bound to lose something. i knew it was coming and was willing to do it myself but I still couldn't let go of the texting, the talking, the cuddling.. etc. When I did finally let go I was able to mourn (5months later haahah) and now feel healing taking its natural course. So nice. Thanks for sharing JANIS

congratulations on your marriage :)

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next ›
• Page