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Hey Ladies! What do you consider a deal breaker in a relationship?
Ok, so here's the scoop. In addition to teaching English or Spanish as a second language I am also a freelance writer. I am currently trying to come up with an article for a women's e-zine (TheFrisky.com) and would love to hear some of your input!
What do you all consider a deal breaker in a relationship?
Personally, I can't stand deadbeats, procrastinators, or too much drinking. Bad grammar is also a very big pet peeve of mine.
I know that everyone is different so I look forward to hearing some of your opinions!
Thanks!
Amanda
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Toni Navarro on -
Some deal breakers are arrogance, big flirts, liars, and completely having their priorities mess up and not caring!
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Permalink Reply by Gina on -
I've been out of the dating world for awhile, but when I was dating, I made sure that the men I dated were REAL husband, father-of-my-children potential. So, deal breakers were: didn't want to get married, didn't want kids, treated me poorly, lack of ambition/determination, moochers, violent/overly angry, lazy... I actually think my list is a lot longer than this, but it could start looking ridiculous. Suffice it to say: I had high standards and didn't go on a lot of second dates.
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Permalink Reply by Smile Soup on -
I've been with my Husband since I was 17, but I guess a lack of caring/ compassion would have been the biggest deal-breaker for me.
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie P on -
I agree with Gina, as I was always looking for a life partner. But I would like to add unnecessary macho man syndrome. I want authenticity. I want to know a man's heart, and do have that honour with my husband. I can't stand a man that won't be vulnerable or open, since I am an open book and can see right through all the facades.
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Permalink Reply by Smart Ass Sara on -
Deal breakers.. oh man.
1. Bad feet. Seriously- if a guy can't take care of his feet it's over. I even made my husband show me his feet on the first date. It's a big deal.
2. Drinkers/smokers/drug users- light drinking is fine- getting drunk regularly not fine. Smoking.. ew. I'd like to not die of lung cancer because we all know it'd be me to go first. And drug users- I'm not looking to star on intervention.
3. Cleanliness- I'm so OCD with cleaning it's obscene. Granted, a guy doesn't have to be OCD but I also don't want to be that wife on Hoarders who had to move out because the husband is so gross and I'm dying and he wont' even clean up his trash so he can be with me while I die, most likely from black mold or something that was in the house. So you have to be clean.
4. Lying. I'm smart and I watch a lot of Law & Order. I also watch Maury Povich. I can spot a liar. Don't lie because it'll not be pretty.
5. Smarts. You don't have to be super smart but you can't be stupid. I need to be able to have a conversation with you without feeling like I'm talking down to you.
6. Handy. I am not handy. I can't read a damn tape measurer and I can barely use basic hand tools. I'd like to not have to hire someone when I break something. Which will be frequently.
So yeah. That's my beginning list. :)
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Permalink Reply by Connally on -
cheating. lying. manipulating. apathy. being freakishly early to everything. and a bad temper.
those are all i can think of right off the top.
everyone else's suggestions were basically along the same lines it seems.
cheers for freelance♥ good luck on your article!
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Permalink Reply by Sami Hubbard on -
My biggest one is smoking, if you smoke you don't stand a chance!
other than that just honesty (including cheating), if they have done it in the past I might be willing to give it a shot, but I would be really really on edge about it.
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Permalink Reply by Aly on -
I think the biggest deal breaker for me, would be a guy who tries to fit me into a mold and tries to change me to be his "ideal" girlfriend. 'Cause that just isn't going to happen, ever. There's no reason to be in a relationship when the other person doesn't accept you for who you are. Other deal breakers include lying(my ex would lie all the time about not smoking weed, which brings me to my next peeve), drugs and heavy drinking, anger issues, and being disrespectful to me and/or other people.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda @ stlstateofmind on -
Cheating.
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Permalink Reply by Kit Marsden on -
I'd be interested to know how you ladies ascertain all these apparently crucial details...
Because a "deal-breaker" for me, would be if a girl started asking me questions on a first date (or even second, or third date!) about if I want to marry, if I want children, if I'm ambitious, whether I'd cheated on any past girlfriends, how much I drank, whether I smoked, how clean my feet are, and whether I'm punctual or not!
That would just seem weird to me... :/
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Permalink Reply by Gina on
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And that's why I didn't go on a lot of second dates.
But honestly, if I wanted to get married, and the guy I was talking to didn't, why pursue it? Why bother wasting your cash, our time, and our energy on something that doesn't stand a chance just because we aren't willing to talk about it up front? This is how people spend years languishing in relationships that ultimately don't go anywhere. Which, if that's what you're after, then, great. But it wasn't what I was after, and I didn't see any point in beating around the bush.
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Permalink Reply by Kit Marsden on
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I guess I'm just not "dating seriously", then - but honestly, I don't see the point in worrying about any of that stuff!
I never go into a date with a "plan" - just looking to see if we like each other... If so, great! I don't have to be thinking "where is this going? Could I spend the rest of my life with this person?" We've only just met, for heaven's sake! Let's just spend some time together, and see what happens... :)
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