The Bloggers With The Most To Say
How do you handle harrassment on your blog?
My blog seems to have sparked some sort of cyber-stalking. A doctor who I saw, who misdiagnosed me, was worked into a recent post---the post was more about the silliness of my health issue than him, but his negligence and mistake were a central part of the story.
About a week after the post went up, he must have been Googling his own name and found my tiny blog that almost no one reads. My blog NOW goes into more depth, but basically this man used his medical records to figure out which one of his patients I had been, and is now making threatening phone calls to me, my parent (who live in a different state), posting threatening or accusatory comments anonymously in the comments section of my blog and calling me from random phone numbers in a seriously creepy matter.
I've lodged a complaint with the police and with the state medical board, but basically there's nothing anyone can do unless he does something VIOLENT to me. Only after something bad has happened can any progress be made, blah blah blah...
I basically wanted to know if anyone else has ever gone through something like this?
The doctor's last message to my parents demanded that I take the post down ASAP.
Now, I know all this could go away if I just take the post down.
But part of me is like "F--- YOU, A--hole, now that you're acting crazy I'm absolutely keeping this post up so no one else ever crosses paths with you." I'm torn between standing my ground and not letting some egotistical nut make me censor myself in one of the few places I get to speak my mind, or just giving in to make the harrassment stop.
What would you do? Have you done?
Just curious. I've never been cyberstalked or had an issue like this, so I'm totally clueless.
About a week after the post went up, he must have been Googling his own name and found my tiny blog that almost no one reads. My blog NOW goes into more depth, but basically this man used his medical records to figure out which one of his patients I had been, and is now making threatening phone calls to me, my parent (who live in a different state), posting threatening or accusatory comments anonymously in the comments section of my blog and calling me from random phone numbers in a seriously creepy matter.
I've lodged a complaint with the police and with the state medical board, but basically there's nothing anyone can do unless he does something VIOLENT to me. Only after something bad has happened can any progress be made, blah blah blah...
I basically wanted to know if anyone else has ever gone through something like this?
The doctor's last message to my parents demanded that I take the post down ASAP.
Now, I know all this could go away if I just take the post down.
But part of me is like "F--- YOU, A--hole, now that you're acting crazy I'm absolutely keeping this post up so no one else ever crosses paths with you." I'm torn between standing my ground and not letting some egotistical nut make me censor myself in one of the few places I get to speak my mind, or just giving in to make the harrassment stop.
What would you do? Have you done?
Just curious. I've never been cyberstalked or had an issue like this, so I'm totally clueless.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kyla Roma on -
I think there's a huge difference between an ex reading something you posted about him and a post that names a heath professional who made a mistake that effected someone's health.
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Permalink Reply by Kyla Roma on
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If you used his name, in my opinion you should take the post down ASAP. Saying that you had visited 'a doctor' and such & such happened is something is very different than naming a person or business, and if you implied that he was negligent that could be grounds for a legal suit against you on the basis of slander.
I would edit the post so that it doesn't include his name and indicate to him that you have changed the story and have received no incoming traffic other than from him on the basis of a search of his name if that's the case.
This can be made into an extremely serious legal issue if he wants to pursue it. Unless you're interested in litigation I would edit it immediately.
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Permalink Reply by Erin on -
Amen. Kyla's hit the nail on the head.
I'm so sorry that you're in a situation like this one. Here's to hoping you get it fixed up soon!
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Permalink Reply by Polly Syllabick on -
I'm def going to take his name down.
I guess Im just surprised because the post wasn't a "HEY EVERYONE DON'T GO SEE THIS DOCTOR" or personal vendetta post. It was supposed to be a silly recounting about how and why I ended up looking like a monkey for a week due to a weird infection. So I (stupidly, yes, I know) hadn't even thought about naming him....it was just a random detail toward the end of a story about myself and my ugliness.
(and can of course I understand why he'd be mad)
Here's my big issue though: all of the posts and emails have come from fake or anonymous senders. It's clear its him, but I don't have "HEY THIS WAS THE DR." evidence. The phone calls, except for the one he placed to my father, have come from blocked numbers...I've got the "restricted number" log in my cell phone for a few, but no phone number?
Scary as Hell.
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Permalink Reply by Cait on -
Oh, do I agree with Kyla Roma. It would be different had you not used his name, but by posting his name, anyone who searches him could come upon that, detracting from his business. Although you had a bad experience, that doesn't mean he's a bad doctor. Not to mention what Kyla has already said - you could be in a lot of trouble for slander if you don't change/delete it.
My advice would be to take it down completely, but that's only what I would personally do, because I would want to avoid any future confrontation. You could try editing the post and explaining that you've made the post generic and non-specific in terms of using his name.
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Permalink Reply by Courtney on -
I agree with Kyla and Cait wholeheartedly.
However, if you described the situation accurately, it also sounds like he is not handling this like an adult or a professional. I would make the changes Kyla suggested or take the post down as Cait suggested, and inform him as formally as possible that you have done so. It is important to remember, though, because of things like Google Cache and feed readers, those words are never going to completely go away, and you may have to deal with the consequences of that. However, if he keeps harassing you, I would definitely suggest using an invisible stat counter and keep a clear, accurate record of the comments he leaves, the IP address(es) he's visiting from, never delete any of the email he might send, and write down the phone numbers he's calling from. Ask your parents to do the same. While he could have a case against you, you absolutely should not be treated this way and it will be much easier to fight back if you have a written record of his attempted "communication."
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Permalink Reply by Sebastian on -
With Courtney on this one -- if you described the situation accurately and without bias then you're entirely safe.
As a service to future patients of his you should KEEP IT UP! He's obviously unprofessional and more worried about his reputation than actually providing good health care.
It's crazy that he'd actually stalk/harass you... really crazy.
But again, as long as you've been truthful, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Ball's in his court, and he certainly can't do you for slander or libel -- much more likely you can do him for breach of privacy (if he says anything about you that he shouldn't...)
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
I have to agree with the masses here as well. There’s a line between anonymously venting about an ex and slandering a specifically named person. Most exs will get huffy over something you write, but chances are that they won’t try to sue you over it. However, if you are bad mouthing a business (or in this case a doctor) and using their full name, they very well may contact a lawyer and make this a very ugly matter!
As a doctor, their reputation is on the line and it means everything in terms of their success. So essentially you are causing harm to his reputation and that could affect his business/his future success. You can see why he's so angry and defensive, right? Now I'm not saying you don't have a right to stand up for yourself and perhaps whatever your bad experience was with him gives you a valid reason to complain. However, this isn't the right way to go about it. And how he is handling it (harassing you) isn't right either. Still as the old saying goes "two wrongs don't make a right."
You’re better off logging your complaint with the state medical board and not the blogosphere. So unless you have a good amount of cash saved up to battle a lawsuit, I suggest you just delete the post...or at the very least edit out his name. Think about it. Is all of this trouble seriously worth it?
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Permalink Reply by wishcake on -
I'm going to add another vote for simply editing the post to not include specific names. I totally get you on the whole, "Psh, why should I have to edit myself?" However, already looks like a fool for the way he has handled this situation, and I'd say it will be smart for you to cover yourself while you can. Can you imagine being held legally responsible for something like this? That would be totally ridic, but things like that happen and it would be absolutely terrible for you to have that to deal with. For the sake of your own peace of mind, I say take just take out the bits and pieces with his name. Then he has no further grounds for what he's doing to you (not that he ever did, but you know what I mean).
Also, I definitely agree with Courtney about keeping an acurate record of each comment/phone call/etc. Should you ever need to prove harassment, that will at least put you one step ahead!
I can't believe you have to deal with this. Like Chelia said, he totally sounds more like a twelve-year-old than a professional. That, in itself, is pretty darn sad.
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Permalink Reply by Mrs. B on -
Wow, this sucks. What everyone is saying here makes a lot of sense. I understand how you want to express yourself, but there are proper channels. Like David said, you can go to the medical board. Also, if you list a complaint wiht the BBB, then other people can see it, and might choose not to go to that doctor, wit out putting you at risk, because it is anon.
You mentioned that the police won't help you out until it is basically to late. So, you kind f ave to think about it like this: do you want to do what is fair, or do you want to do what is safe?
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