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How long will you wait for a commitment?
Is there a timeline--two months, three months, six months--or will you wait indefinitely for someone that you REALLY like to commit to you?
In my post today, I argue that if a guy isn't absolutely crazy about you after three months, you should move on. But some of my friends are willing to wait for ages for a guy to come around (and they usually don't). What do you think?
I'm actually really curious to hear some stories...
In my post today, I argue that if a guy isn't absolutely crazy about you after three months, you should move on. But some of my friends are willing to wait for ages for a guy to come around (and they usually don't). What do you think?
I'm actually really curious to hear some stories...
Tags: commitment, dating, issues, single
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cee on -
What do you mean when you say "commitment"?
Do you mean exclusive dating?
Or a marriage proposal?
I would be terrified if any guy proposed after three months.
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Permalink Reply by Cee on
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I think it really varies. You can't just put a time limit on it, you know? I'm a big fan of 'going with the flow'.
After about 3ish months, you should at least let him know what you're thinking. Guys aren't mind readers. If you make your wishes known and he doesn't care and wants to keep dating other ppl, keep on steppin' and find someone else.
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Permalink Reply by Brandi on -
My cousin and her boyfriend have been together for 8 years without marriage in sight. She wants Marriage, he isn't going for it so I think she should leave him. If after a year of waiting for someone (without dating) it isn't worth it. If after two years of being with someone I think the choice is marriage or breaking up. For me life isn't about dating, it's about being with one person. Waiting can only last so long. : )
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Permalink Reply by Margarita on -
But why does a commitment have to equal marriage? Why can't you just be with someone and not be married to them?
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
If I guy WANTS to commit, he will commit. If he doesn't want to commit, he doesn't like you enough. So why would you want him?
Also...
If a guy is pressured or forced to commit, the relationship is doomed because he is doing something just to "shut you up" (for lack of a better phrase) and not committing because he truly has deep feelings for you. So again, why would you want him?
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Permalink Reply by imerika on -
I completely agree with this. And that's what I tell my friends.
They tell me I need to give them more time, I tell them they need to dump their ass and move on to someone who will be absolutely crazy about you.
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
I agree, this is the most sensible attitude I can think of. I don't think anyone should wait for committment, if you are ready to commit to whatever it is..marriage or exclusive relationship and the other person isn't then get out, why wait? If it's the other way around someone wants you to commit and you don't want to..also get out. I think it works better this way. The energy wasted otherwise is just too much.
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Permalink Reply by imerika on
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"I don't put up with people who, when I say I'm ready for commitment, waffle on the idea. You're in or you're out, bucko."
I couldn't agree more.
I just find a lot ofgirlswomen my age (mid-twenties) keep waiting around, wasting precious time...
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Permalink Reply by Margarita on
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I think it's all personal and situated to certain people. We waited almost a month to be "serious and exclusive", but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone
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Permalink Reply by Muppet on -
I'm with you - even though that guy who wrote that 'he's just not that into you' book makes me want to rip my face off, I think if a guys into you, he shows it. Period.
Agreed - especially in our 20s it seems like there is a particular breed of girl who's willing to wait for a long, long time... I think it's a self-esteem thing... Of the women that I know personally, the ones that wait forever are usually the ones that ending up putting up with a lot more in GENERAL and seem to be okay with being the one-with-more-feelings.
This is all assuming that it has been a reasonable amount of time - not like you've been on two dates and are expecting a marriage proposal, or anything. :) But I think as women, you intuitively know when it doesn't feel right to be dating-other-people anymore.. And if he's not up for it after a couple of months, he's not going to be up to it. Or he just doesn't want a girlfriend ( I also don't understand the phenomenon of finding a guy who doesn't want a girlfriend, and WANTING to be the one to 'change his mind'. Do we really need to experiment with our hearts like that?)
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