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How young is young, really?
Ok, so I was thinking today about the way we look at what people should be doing at certain ages.
Every time someone I went to school with has a baby, everyone is so surprised and says "wow, theyre such young parents"
When one of them gets married, they get the same reaction.
But, as I keep pointing out to everyone, we are in our mid 20s now, its actually pretty average to be having kids and getting married at this age, isnt it?
Fair enough, people are leaving those things til later these days, but the average age for having a first child is still 25. Though, if someone has a child at 23, 24, or even 26, they are called "young parents". Same goes with marriage.
I thought I'd throw it over to you guys, and get some more opinions. How young do you think you have to be to still be called a "young parent" or claim that someone is getting married "so young"?
Where is the line between young parent and just parent? where is the line between getting married young, and just getting married?
Every time someone I went to school with has a baby, everyone is so surprised and says "wow, theyre such young parents"
When one of them gets married, they get the same reaction.
But, as I keep pointing out to everyone, we are in our mid 20s now, its actually pretty average to be having kids and getting married at this age, isnt it?
Fair enough, people are leaving those things til later these days, but the average age for having a first child is still 25. Though, if someone has a child at 23, 24, or even 26, they are called "young parents". Same goes with marriage.
I thought I'd throw it over to you guys, and get some more opinions. How young do you think you have to be to still be called a "young parent" or claim that someone is getting married "so young"?
Where is the line between young parent and just parent? where is the line between getting married young, and just getting married?
Tags: 20s, marriage, milestones, parents, young
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
I get the "married young" thing often. I was 13 when I met my (now) wife. I was 13/14 when we started dating. Fifteen when we got engaged, I met her face to face at 18 and we got married one month after meeting face to face. We've now been married for almost three years and together for seven.
We both were and are young, however, we both truly knew and still know what we want. We love each other, we're together 24/7 (we literally are. We live together, work together and our hobbies, etc. are the same.) We've been inseparable for seven years. We don't plan on changing.
When people meet us, they're surprised that we've been together so long and that we didn't date anyone else before each other. They're also amazed at the fact that we're married.
I have no problem with being young, I just hate when people think just because someone is young, that they know nothing. Everyone thought we'd date a while and that would be it, and here we are, years later, married. With a very, very strong emotional and psychical bond.
I believe it is all up to the person. My brother who is seven years older than me, can't even take care of himself, let alone anyone else.
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Permalink Reply by Tiffani D. on -
Wow, I wish I knew who you'd been talking to. I am about to post a blog on being an bridesmaid and how people keep looking at me like I'm a spinster simply because I'm 27 and single.
My dad started asking me around age 24 when he was going to have a grandchild. I wasn't even dating anyone at that point, but that didn't really seem to matter LOL.
Seriously, almost all of my friends are married. And many are married with kids who are 2 or 3 years old. My age. No one seemed to think they were 'young' at all, it was like 'perfect timing'. I'm the odd one out.
It's like they keep waiting for me to wake up and find a husband. Its a sore spot with me, really. I don't even know if I want to be married, and I'm definitely leaning towards not having kids.
*sigh*
If I told my friends and family that they'd have me committed.
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Permalink Reply by Claire Louise on -
wow, 27 is nowhere near an age that could be considered spinster lol
I dont think its a bad thing either way, whether you do it all in your 20s, or wait til your 30s, or even not do it at all.
I just think when people are talking to a 24 or 25 year old going "wow, arent you so young to be getting married/having children/insert other big event here" it comes off as a bit condescending.
And then, if youre 30 or over, youre labelled as an "older" parent, or "putting off" getting married.
It makes no sense - effectively it gives you about a year window to be an average age for doing those things lol
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Permalink Reply by Mandi on -
I started getting that whole "spinster" thing in my mid-20s when all my friends were getting married and having children. I felt really pressured to do the same.
I'd been dating the same guy for 7 years and it seemed the next logical step ... we got married and two years later we're getting divorced.
Moral of the story: do things on your own time and for your own reasons. I think some people meet their soulmate at 18 and can settle down and get married and start a family before they're even 20 ... others of us have a lot of living and exploring to do. I'm one of the latter types!
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on -
I will have to agree with what you say totally. good point
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Permalink Reply by Vanessa M. on -
I have a friend who recently found out she is pregnant. You would not believe the pitying looks and "Are you ok with this?" she has been getting because of her age (25)!
On the flip side, I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for almost 6 years, living together for about 4.5. People are constantly pestering us about when we are going to get married and have kids. Then, when I tell them we don't plan on ever having children, they tell me I'm "too young to make that decision."
Bwah?
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Permalink Reply by Allison on -
Well, I get that. I think they just meant that you haven't given yourself enough time, that at 35 you may change your mind and want kids. I don't think it's so much a "young" thing as it is a "not right now" decision. however, when you're together for a long period of time there is evidence of a strong commitment, so it's easier to assume you can get married young. I wouldn't have children at 22 either.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you don't ever want to have children. I know plenty of people who are child-free.
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Permalink Reply by Ashley on -
It's all based on maturity. 18 year olds have the capability of being more mature than 30 year olds so I guess age means very little to me. If you know what you want when you're "young," great. Most of us aren't that lucky. If you don't figure it out until you're older, so be it.
There's no age category that I think can truly define what's too young or too old to get married or have children.
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Permalink Reply by m'liss on -
This is SUCH a good point. If you're in your 20's you always get called a young parent... But that's really not true at all. I guess we've all just been conditioned into the mindset that you should be in school til your mid 20s, not having kids by then.
I think to be considered truly 'young parents' now, would be people who are having children right out of high school. It's so strange, but just as I was finishing high school 3 years ago, a bunch of girls I graduated with were getting pregnant and I was jue like "whoa... I can't imagine being there yet. I haven't even gone to college!" So I think that would be considered TRULY a bit too young in our day and age.
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Permalink Reply by LCTheaven on -
How timely. I blogged about this just before Christmas: http://crazybritheaven.blogspot.com/2009/12/culture-of-marriage.html
That it explains it better than I could here in short.
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Permalink Reply by Allison on
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I think young is any age under the average age of the current time. The average age a woman marries is 26. So anything under that is "young." Young does not equal bad though. Plenty of young marriages do just fine. Plenty of "old" marriages don't. Young marriage is riskier, but not necessarily "bad." I think that's what most people are concerned about. People who get married while still in college (or get engaged in high school) because your brain has not fully matured until age 25.
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Permalink Reply by Adrienne Judy on -
In my personal opinion. i think "so young" is before you are 21.
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