The Bloggers With The Most To Say
How young is young, really?
Ok, so I was thinking today about the way we look at what people should be doing at certain ages.
Every time someone I went to school with has a baby, everyone is so surprised and says "wow, theyre such young parents"
When one of them gets married, they get the same reaction.
But, as I keep pointing out to everyone, we are in our mid 20s now, its actually pretty average to be having kids and getting married at this age, isnt it?
Fair enough, people are leaving those things til later these days, but the average age for having a first child is still 25. Though, if someone has a child at 23, 24, or even 26, they are called "young parents". Same goes with marriage.
I thought I'd throw it over to you guys, and get some more opinions. How young do you think you have to be to still be called a "young parent" or claim that someone is getting married "so young"?
Where is the line between young parent and just parent? where is the line between getting married young, and just getting married?
Every time someone I went to school with has a baby, everyone is so surprised and says "wow, theyre such young parents"
When one of them gets married, they get the same reaction.
But, as I keep pointing out to everyone, we are in our mid 20s now, its actually pretty average to be having kids and getting married at this age, isnt it?
Fair enough, people are leaving those things til later these days, but the average age for having a first child is still 25. Though, if someone has a child at 23, 24, or even 26, they are called "young parents". Same goes with marriage.
I thought I'd throw it over to you guys, and get some more opinions. How young do you think you have to be to still be called a "young parent" or claim that someone is getting married "so young"?
Where is the line between young parent and just parent? where is the line between getting married young, and just getting married?
Tags: 20s, marriage, milestones, parents, young
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Mindy on -
(Haven't read the other comments... Just so we know.)
The problem with this question is that the definition of "young" isn't so clear cut, and it's consistently changing.
I'm 24. When my parents had me in 1985, they were 21 and 19. I consider them to be "young" parents. However, my brother and his girlfriend just had a baby - they were 22 and 20. I didn't see them as young though. Perhaps not ready, but not exactly "young." I guess it really varies based on the people involved.
With that said, 50 years ago, getting married and having a child before the age of 21 was much more commonplace. College wasn't as necessary as it is today. People were more eager to dive into a family life. Yet now some of us snub our noses as two people who marry at the age of 19 and have children shortly thereafter.
Really, it's all a matter of personal opinion, and even I'm not sure where I fall here. I might have one friend who is 21 and has a baby, and I see nothing wrong or young about it. But then another one does, and I'd classify her as "young." It's all too involved in the particular circumstances, if you ask me.
-
Permalink Reply by Kendall on -
My parents had me a few months before they each turned 22. It seems like 20somethings nowadays have an overly exaggerated reputation for paralyzing fear of settling down so that people who go against the norm even at 26 and up are termed "young parents/married couples"
-
Permalink Reply by Sarah Nicole on -
I think if you are responsible enough to support your child or your wife/husband than you are not to young. I have a friend who has been married two years and they still live with her parents. I think if you can't get out on your own and live on your own then you are not ready for that step in life. But if you're 18 and you can have an apartment for you and your significant other, all the more power to you. I don't think it's an "age" thing, I think it's all about maturity and responsibility.
-
Permalink Reply by Kanriah on -
Honestly, I any time I heard of someone I know not yet 21 is having a kid or getting married I wonder if they are ready. Some are, many that I've heard of (like my stepbrother and some of my brothers friends) were Not. It depends on the person really.
Some can handle it better are 20 than some people I know at 35. It's the person that makes it work, and it's the trends of the time that make it seem young or not.
-
Permalink Reply by Angie on -
Urgh, I replied and my reply never showed up. Blargh.
Anyway, about living at home while being married. It depends.
My wife and I do seasonal jobs. When the season is over, we do come home and stay with family. We want our own place, HOWEVER, my wife's parents don't want us to move out. Especially her mom. They enjoy having us close and enjoy having us live with them, so I don't agree that every couple living with their family is immature or young or "not ready"
Not to mention most of our friends and/or my in-laws friends children live with their families well into marriage. Some fix up their basement and stay with them, etc.
Then again, my wife and I are super close to her parents, so it's not really a bad thing! ^_^
-
Permalink Reply by Robethblogeth on -
The average age for a first child is 25? For this 26 year old that is DEPRESSING! That said, it seems like a lot of my friends are avoiding the traditional route these days. Plus with divorce rates as high as they are, it does make sense to make sure that you've both made the right choice.
-
Permalink Reply by Claire Louise on -
I love that so many of you said "its not about age, its about maturity" or "depends on the person".
I look at it the same way.
I consider myself a young parent, because although im in my mid twenties, my kids are not babies. I had them very young. But I wouldnt put someone who had their first baby at 25 in the same category as me, you know?
I suppose it just surprises me that so many people are surprised by 24 and 25 year olds settling down.
-
Permalink Reply by Punky Jo on -
I love this discussion!
I just ran into a high school friend of mine who said ALL of these people are getting married and having kids and was baffled because we are "too YOUNG for that stuff!"
I had to remind him that we are 26 years old and it's not THAT young. I love how we're young if we get married and have kids now. But if we waited until we were 31 then we would get "Oh they waited a long time before settling down."
It's a no win situation, someone will always have something to say!
-
Permalink Reply by Kanwal Khalid on -
Blah. I don't know. Here in Pakistan if a girl exceeds the age of 23 and is still unmarried she is pitied for being a "spinster". It's crazy. I think everyone grows up at different points in their lives. So no specific age. For me it has been, being 21. I've matured in a lot of ways. Probably because I also got married a month after my 21st Birthday. Haha. And yes I married young but not as young as the Pakis who get betrothed at the age of 12. ;)
-
Permalink Reply by Dr Brainspiller on -
I don't think age really matters all that much, I mean, having a baby at 17 is probably not a good idea (it seems to be somewhat of a trend over here though). Although, some people get married and such at 18 and that's fine, also people in their 30's who are still single... that's fine too. It's all a matter of personal choice, when YOU feel ready to settle down, when you find the right person to settle down with. I know that I want to have children at some point, but I wouldn't even consider doing it now at 22, on the other hand, some of my friends have children and they are happy. Just take your time and make decisions that are right for you.
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- Next ›
© 2012 Created by Lisa.
