I fall in love too easily...

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Permalink Reply by Sex and the Shitty on March 29, 2011 at 10:49pm

I'm going to plagiarize from myself and take a quote right off of something I wrote called, "Why hasn't he called." It deals with exactly what you are talking about!

"...Now I’ll turn my attention to the other half of this “Why hasn’t he called?” problem. Girls… I’m going to lay it out there for you in a really simple manner so that you a) don’t get your heart broken and b) don’t look like a crazy chick!

 

First of all, you’ve probably just met the guy; thus, you don’t actually like him at this point. That’s right, I’m going to say it: likely you’re just enjoying the attention (and possibly his hot ass). This means that you are not in love, you are not in lust, and you are not even infatuated. Right now, you are just interested.

A date, a one-night stand, or a chance encounter can be fun and promising, but the expectations of said promise differ drastically for men and women. After the girl walks away what do you think the guy does? I’ll tell you: nothing! He goes back to scratching himself, drinking beer, and watching sports. What, after the same walk away, does the girl do? I’ll tell you: obsesses! She thinks and talks about him non-stop for the next twenty-four to seventy-two hours. Daydreams are dangerous ladies: get your head out of the clouds!

I have to take the side of the men on this one. They’re doing it right! Guys just take the situation for what it is whereas girls start churning out thoughts of the future. The men are living in the moment rather than in some fantasy world where expectations are projected onto something completely unknown. (You can say it: “When you put it that way Elle, it does sound a little crazy.")

Here is what you need to do to maintain your head and your heart: stop thinking about him the moment you walk away! Go do something self-indulgent and have a ton of fun. Why should you let some guy dictate your happiness for the next few days? It’s in those next forty-eight hours that follow where you will likely meet a ton of other eligible bachelors, but you wont even take notice due to your self-imposed infatuation. Don’t turn him into something he’s not; if he’s worth it he’ll work it out on his own. For now, focus on yourself, your life, and your happiness (which you really should always be doing.)

If he ends up calling: great!

If not: who cares! (Remember: he was just a moment of interest, not the love of your life)."

 

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Permalink Reply by Ella Unread on March 29, 2011 at 11:07pm

So so true...sigh...I need to start putting it into practice though...

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Permalink Reply by Rocket on March 30, 2011 at 4:14am

This almost made me cry! You are a girlfriend's girlfriend. Right on.

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Permalink Reply by Sara Elizabeth Bonds on March 29, 2011 at 11:11pm

I fall too easily and give too freely. It's a problem. I am working on it. I have been this way my entire life. For as long as I can remember I have been a hopeless dreamer-romantic who falls incredibly hard far too soon. It actually doesn't usually work against me, so I guess I count myself lucky. I find the men in my life (usually) adore that vulnerable fact about me. I give all and don't stop to wonder if they feel the same way or if I will make an ass out of myself. I let my heart guide me and have no regrets about it.

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Permalink Reply by Ella Unread on March 30, 2011 at 12:57am

You're lucky...I used to break hearts but now I'm getting used to getting my heart broken...I give all of me (almost) (but fortunately not everything) and then I'm left thinking I did everything wrong :(

You are very lucky.

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Permalink Reply by Sara Elizabeth Bonds on March 30, 2011 at 2:55am

Perhaps it's in how you are presenting love to men. I don't know. I tend to hide my "crazy in-love" well for long enough to not freak them out, all while actually showing them I love them with how I treat them, touch them, pay attention to them, etc. I know I love them, of course, but I guess they don't always know I have already fallen in love. Does that make sense? lol

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Permalink Reply by Ella Unread on March 30, 2011 at 9:54am

That could be it...yeah...Maybe I should try to hide it.

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Permalink Reply by Owen on March 29, 2011 at 11:32pm

ELLA. ur so pretty. i love you.

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Permalink Reply by Ella Unread on March 30, 2011 at 1:00am

Thank you. I love you too.

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Permalink Reply by Anshu 2011 on March 30, 2011 at 12:26am

Ella this is the age...

everyone falls in love n this age

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Permalink Reply by Ella Unread on March 30, 2011 at 1:00am

Yeah but not compulsively like I do!!!

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Permalink Reply by Dave on March 30, 2011 at 12:37am

I know precisely where you're coming from Ella.  

For me, I think it comes from many years of being single.  I always end up getting too invested in things, and end up thinking it's a sure thing when I should really be cautious.

I guess the best thing to do is to toughen yourself up in some way.  This might sound harsh, but I think that this method does work when done properly.  If you feel yourself getting too emotional about things, just give yourself a little mental pep-talk, and remind yourself not to get too crazy about whatever's happening.  

I have often found myself in the same situation, so you're definitely not alone in this.  

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