If you are a 20sb Member, I want you to read this

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Permalink Reply by cooper on August 4, 2009 at 6:34pm

I guess I am in the minority in thinking that these things are somewhat exploitative, and I am glad the person feels the blogging community is of help, I've had friends now going on 5 years via blogging and I understand on some level what it can mean, but I also hope the person is getting the help they need in real life, because blogging is not real life.

That is just my initial reaction to stuff like this. I may think differently once I think it over. I actually saw this post via twitter yesterday and had the same feeling so I hesitated to respond.

I wish the secret sender the best of course, bloggers have at least one thing in common, and that is that they are bloggers, and more often or not part of some type of system set up therein, so more power to the blogesphere and bloggy friends.

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Permalink Reply by Katie on August 4, 2009 at 7:22pm

I of course respect your views despite the fact that I disagree with one statement that you said. Some people either "get it" or they "don't get it." Your view is a view that a lot of my more local friends and family have. "They're people in the computer. They're Not Real."

The part that struck something in me in your post was:

"Blogging is not real life"

...as opposed to being make-believe?

I did not say this to be snide or disrespectful, but to me, and to many other people, blogging IS real life. Blogging is the way in which we reach out to other people. People share real feelings, real thoughts and get real comments and support in return. Many of us are taking out blogging love to the next level and meeting the friends that we've made though we consider each other real friends despite our never meeting face to face.

I can tell you that I've shared many-a problems with my friends that I've met in the blogosphere. Their input and advice have made me feel better in times of crisis, and brightened my bad days. When something good happens, I'm just as excited to tell my circle of blog friends as I am my local friends.

That's real life. They are my real friends.

Of course you get out of blogging what you put into it. If you simply want it to be a non-personal escape from reality where you post any and everything and not make any real connections, then you'll get that. If you use it as a business builder, you'll certainly get that. If you use it as a way to express your feelings while reading the expressed feelings of others, then you'll make friends.

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Permalink Reply by Jill Pilgrim on August 4, 2009 at 8:47pm

I completely agree with you Katie. <- Brain not working enough for more commentary than that.

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Permalink Reply by cooper on August 4, 2009 at 8:49pm

What is great is that everyone is different, and we all come from different places, and from that comes our opinions. What I've gotten from blogging you will never know, and I'm sorry if the comment offended you. I'm not big on pretending online.

I've met many bloggers, I've been blogging a long time. I understand that others feel differently about their online presence and relationships, but to make something public — not among those who are of that persons circle of online friends — is to me exploitive. It's just a gut reaction and an opinion, and we both have the right to that.

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Permalink Reply by Katie on August 4, 2009 at 9:01pm

I wasn't so much offended as I was simply in disagreement. Saying that blogging isn't real life just seemed to minimize blogging as the type of community that it has become. As you said, I don't know what you've gotten out of blogging, but I'm certain that it is something real.

As far as the "secret", being able to get something out relieves a lot of stress. The theory "better out than in" definitely applies, at least to me. For whatever reason, the secret holder wasn't able to tell their closest circle of friends. I don't know that I would be able to either. It takes an incredible amount of courage to confess something like that. If disclosing something anonymously helps someone alleviate some of the inner turmoil that they're experiencing, then the sharing was rightfully done. After all, what he/she does with their own secret is theirs to reap the benefits or consequences of.

We absolutely have the right to our opinions, and I don't like you any less because of yours. I respect your intelligence as well as your respect for my opinion.

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Permalink Reply by Renee on August 4, 2009 at 8:57pm

If the blogger in question runs around with the same group of bloggers I know and love, then blog life IS real life. The wonderful people I've met through blogging have become my real life friends, closer and more supportive than nearly all of my "real life" girlfriends. I've met a virtual family through blogging, people who think of me and support me and encourage me and fill my own soul. The Secret Poster is in good hands with us and we'll always look out for him/her because that's what bloggers do.

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Permalink Reply by Jamie on August 4, 2009 at 9:08pm

Here, here!

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Permalink Reply by brandyismagic on August 4, 2009 at 9:22pm

Everyone can view blogging differently. They can view what constitutes 'real', what is exploitative and what is not and we can agree to disagree about it all and the world will keep spinning. But the update I received the same day as the original secret that I've shared here is about as real as it gets for me.

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