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If you found out that your Ex boyfriend whom you dated (for two years) and broke up with, is getting engaged to a girl after dating her for two months..would you or should you be concernd/angry/upset?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Erin McCarthy on -
That's a classic move, mann. Just keep your head up.
Or ye shall be flattened with platitudes.
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Permalink Reply by Kimberly on -
Probably a nice mixture of angry and upset. :( Bummer!! I'm so sorry you're going through this. But clearly, it's a asshole move, and at least you're not engaged to the asshole! :)
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Permalink Reply by John Reckzeny on -
After spending two years with a girl, a guy learns a lot about himself. He also learns a lot about what kind of girl he wants to be with & about the kind of girl that will maximize his overall personal happiness. Maybe he found that in the girl he got engaged with. Shit happens--it ain't a knock on Nev or a knock on him.
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Permalink Reply by Nev on -
That's true John..but he had been calling up until a few months ago tellin me he wants to marry me and that he loves me and I am his soulmate etc... and now he is probably tellin this girl the very same thing. Personally, and based on my years of knowing him, I honestly think that he is afraid to be alone and is latching onto this new found relationship and is taking it a bit too far... sometimes lust, loneliness, pain etc can be confused with love when you suddenly find someone to fill that void in your heart.. you could be right tho.. like I said, I broke up with him cos I didnt want to settle..and maybe his new girlfriend sees all his qualities (if he has shown them yet) as being perfect. Each to his own.. and yep shit happens ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Chung on -
I wouldn't feel anything. I wouldn't be happy about it but again, the relationship with him is over. And he has all rights to move on and do what he wants. This is including but not limited to rushing into marriage and other such drastic measures that shouldn't be done in two months.
Just take it as a sign to not care, move on, and find someone else that would make you happy and be willing to commit to you after a reasonable amount of time.
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Permalink Reply by Amanda @ stlstateofmind on -
I second this.
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Permalink Reply by Nev on
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Yeah I guess I am just a bit concerned because right up until a few months ago he was calling me and telling me that he loves me and wants to marry me etc.. so its confusing.. its upsetting because we planned to do that... and it never happened because he was a bullsh%t liar who couldnt get his act together and I being the dreamer and hopeless romantic fell for everything... angry because he could offer that to someone in two months when I was with him for two years... yep a mixture of shocking emotions.. but I am moving on :-)
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Permalink Reply by Lily Boob on -
bullsh%t liar who couldnt get his act together
^^^ that right there is why you shouldn't care. Be glad you don't have to deal with that anymore. Now it's someone else's problem.
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Permalink Reply by Nev on
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Riley thats great to hear and you are right, however I think two months is not enough time to know who a person really is in order to make a lifetime commitment such as marriage etc. The first few months of a relationship is always happy and dubbed the 'honeymoon' phase. The core and true personality traits of person would not surface then.. I only discovered things about the guy after our first year together... I guess sometimes it just works out for people and sometimes it doesnt... views would be subjective given the circumstances... everything is relative
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Permalink Reply by Sarah on -
It absolutely just depends on the people involved. I know at least one couple who married within weeks of knowing each other and are still together 30-odd years later.
Either way though, as others have said, it's not your job to scrutinize their relationship. As hard as it is to let go completely, especially if as you say he'd still been professing his whatever to you up until a few months ago, all you can do is take it as one more sign that he was not the guy for you. Take what you learned from him, and find someone who is.
If you haven't already, I recommend cutting off contact with the guy, at least for a few months while you come to terms with this and give yourself a chance to move on.
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