The Bloggers With The Most To Say
In need of some serious advice...
I'm not an anonymous blogger. I don't really want to be. I have a hundred reasons for that, but when it comes down to it, I just feel more honest when I'm blogging as myself.
I'm a musician and as such have profiles on the obvious sites like myspace and youtube. I connect those profiles to each other and, yes, with my blog. I feel like my blog, while not strictly focused on my music, adds another element to the mix which might be effective in marketing myself. It's not a connection I think about often, and it's not a part of any grand business plan (yet), it's just another way to express myself to people I think might be interested in my music.
As such, I share quite a bit of information on my blog. My first and last name are absolutely no secret (there's no possible way they can be, if I'm connected to my myspace music account), my location isn't hard to track down either. If you look hard enough, you'll be able to find my hometown and the names of each of the colleges I attended.
And none of this seemed like a terribly big deal, because all artists share this kind of information, and once I start playing shows (next few months, god willing) I will be providing exact locations and times at which you can not only contact me, but be in the same room as me. I'm inviting it in.
SO. The point is that a few weeks ago I got an email from somebody who'd found me on youtube, and had obviously done the necessary research to find my email address. This didn't bother me. He told me in the email how he'd found me and that he really liked a certain song I'd done and wondered if I had the audio. I didn't, but because I'm nice I emailed him an mp3 of one of the songs on my myspace page. We emailed back and forth a little bit, talking music, nothing personal at all, and while he did mention that he thought I was "a cute redhead," he seemed pretty normal otherwise.
I got busy and stopped emailing him back.
But he kept emailing me.
And emailing me.
And emailing me.
And at one point I emailed him back to say, "Hey, busy right now. Get back to you when I have a chance."
But he continued to email me.
Not only that, but I've been checking my blog stats to see that he's been visiting my blog 5-10 times A DAY, and spending considerable amounts of time there each time.
It has continued to get weirder, and today I got an email from him in which he'd attached two pictures of me that I'd put up on my blog, telling me how hot I looked.
CREEPY.
Do I need to worry about this guy? Do I need to take my blog down? I don't want to but he's seriously creeping me out and I really don't know what to do.
Have you been through anything like this before? What would you do?
I'm a musician and as such have profiles on the obvious sites like myspace and youtube. I connect those profiles to each other and, yes, with my blog. I feel like my blog, while not strictly focused on my music, adds another element to the mix which might be effective in marketing myself. It's not a connection I think about often, and it's not a part of any grand business plan (yet), it's just another way to express myself to people I think might be interested in my music.
As such, I share quite a bit of information on my blog. My first and last name are absolutely no secret (there's no possible way they can be, if I'm connected to my myspace music account), my location isn't hard to track down either. If you look hard enough, you'll be able to find my hometown and the names of each of the colleges I attended.
And none of this seemed like a terribly big deal, because all artists share this kind of information, and once I start playing shows (next few months, god willing) I will be providing exact locations and times at which you can not only contact me, but be in the same room as me. I'm inviting it in.
SO. The point is that a few weeks ago I got an email from somebody who'd found me on youtube, and had obviously done the necessary research to find my email address. This didn't bother me. He told me in the email how he'd found me and that he really liked a certain song I'd done and wondered if I had the audio. I didn't, but because I'm nice I emailed him an mp3 of one of the songs on my myspace page. We emailed back and forth a little bit, talking music, nothing personal at all, and while he did mention that he thought I was "a cute redhead," he seemed pretty normal otherwise.
I got busy and stopped emailing him back.
But he kept emailing me.
And emailing me.
And emailing me.
And at one point I emailed him back to say, "Hey, busy right now. Get back to you when I have a chance."
But he continued to email me.
Not only that, but I've been checking my blog stats to see that he's been visiting my blog 5-10 times A DAY, and spending considerable amounts of time there each time.
It has continued to get weirder, and today I got an email from him in which he'd attached two pictures of me that I'd put up on my blog, telling me how hot I looked.
CREEPY.
Do I need to worry about this guy? Do I need to take my blog down? I don't want to but he's seriously creeping me out and I really don't know what to do.
Have you been through anything like this before? What would you do?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Courtney on -
I do have his IP address-- at least the one he's been visiting from (at work! he's stalking me from WORK!) but I have no idea how to actually block an IP in blogger. Do you? I looked a few days ago but couldn't find anything.
-
Permalink Reply by VoteAudrey on -
Courtney,
I am so sorry to hear of this---I've had random people harass me in the past, but not via a blog connection, people I had actually met that. This is serious and you need to trust your instincts. I would not want to take down my blog personally, and I do like the suggestion verybadcat made. Lots of good SEO sites and free information out there for protecting yourself---I've got a link for Facebook tips, but not certain if you need that?
-
Permalink Reply by Ben on -
"You could also email his work (since you said he's doing it from work) and ask them to block access to your website or report it to the internet service provider."
That would be extremly harsh if you haven't told him to lay off, have you brought it up to him? If you have though, tell him you'll do something like that, might get his attention and he'll back off
-
Permalink Reply by Brigid on -
You for sure have to take this quite seriously. He is REALLY into you and IS stalking you the best way he can. I like Justin's idea of "You could also email his work (since you said he's doing it from work) and ask them to block access to your website or report it to the internet service provider." That way he knows you aren't playing around.
-
Permalink Reply by boxofjack on -
Just make it clear that you do not want to receive any more communication from him. He's making you uncomfortable, crossing the line into your personal space and you do not want it. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and try to shut him down directly.
If he continues dispute your crystal-clear message to back off then you need to escalate. Start by setting a mail filter to delete all email from him. Delete all comments he leaves too. If it's still creepy, then consider shutting the blog down.
I had a high school classmate that got shut down by a blogger he liked. He kept posting silly comments on her blog and she in no uncertain terms told him to "fuck off". It hurt his ego but he knew he was no longer welcome.
-
Permalink Reply by JJ on -
Being a public figure will naturally attract this kind of attention, but by staying smart you can minimize the potential creepiness/stalker potential. Don't post any more information than necessary. Your address, your personal phone, your schedule, etc. should all be kept away from the public eye. Separate your musical and personal itinerary and only post them if they're career related.
As far as dealing with him, IP bans are good...until he uses a PC on another network. I'd stop replying for a while and see if he gets the subtle hint, if that doesn't work...gently ask "your fans" to tone it down a bit since you'll be super busy.
-
Permalink Reply by cooper on -
I don't know that I'd take my blog down. I've a couple of those types of issues dating back to high school most recently someone I had always responded to politely when he commented, had started to send me volumes of his writings to read ,and then one day I get this email telling me to call his lawyer (long story) he is on his way to Baltimore and could I meet him at the train station - obviously the guy knew at least the state I lived in, though I never give my location exactly, there is more to the incident but i just stopped responding to his emails and eventually at least as of this week they have stooped.
I handled the other situations differently but I am going to admit my full legal name isn't anywhere on my blog though the name there is mine, and for a long time I posted my age as a year older than I was in order to prevent some of this.
I would see what happens when you ignore him and if there is a way to block the ip he posts from from viewing your blog. I would do it.
-
Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
As someone who has had a stalker before, a crazy ex who stalked me for YEARS both online and offline, I can tell you that it is extremely frustrating and can be scary. However, with that said, I don't think you really have a true "stalker" on your hands. What I do think you have is an overly obsessed fan. And sure, while what he is doing is a little creepy, he hasn't done anything wrong really - nothing illegal or anything to cause you to freak out, or so it seems to me.
I think your best bet is to just ignore him at this point. No reason to get nasty with him or block him, just ignore him. He will probably stop e-mailing you eventually if he sees that he never gets a response. Maybe he is just some dude who has too much time on his hands and loves your music. Think of him as a groupie. Sure he may get a little swoony over you and think you're cute, but you're a rockstar to him. People are weird when it comes to the whole rockstar scene.
If I were you, I wouldn't freak out, but I would be cautious. I would save his e-mails and keep track of anything "odd" that he does - just in case. Honestly though, I tend to trust my gut instinct and this guy just seems a little lonely and not a true stalker. But, I could be wrong. I guess in the end you need to trust YOUR gut instinct.
If it does get out of hand, I would take the same advice everyone has been giving you - IP address blocker (although those don't always work for numerous reasons), report the abuse to his ISP, workplace and even the police if need be. But let's hope it doesn't come to that!
-
Permalink Reply by Courtney on
-
Hmm. Okay.
Well, thank you EVERYONE for your thoughts and opinions.
I'm still thinking over my options, and I know I need to figure it out soon, but I think David's advice was fair enough- I'm going to wait it out just a bit longer and see. I'm definitely being more careful about the kind of information I just drop, though, which is something I get a little too lazy about, I think.
I'll keep everything you said in mind, and once again, thank you so much. I don't really know who is better qualified to give this advice than a bunch of bloggers, so you guys rock.
And if anyone else has any more suggestions... yeah, i'll take them.
© 2012 Created by Lisa.
