The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Is This Normal?
As a copy editor and a writer, is it strange that I get easily turned off by bad grammar and spelling? I wonder what that says about me. Do guys care about that stuff too? Or are men really just suckers for T and A. I have made several exceptions in my life- i.e my cage fighting and radiology exes who gave a rat's ass about proper grammar/spelling, but nothing has been sexier than the men who have been well-versed. Unfortunately they can be the biggest heart breakers too.
Do you guys/girls care about grammar/spelling abilities when it comes to dating?
Do you guys/girls care about grammar/spelling abilities when it comes to dating?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lacey Bean on -
I was a journalism major in college, so I can sympathize with you completely! Bad spelling is bad enough, but bad grammar, but if it's completely awful, then yes, it's a horrible turn off!! I understand that some people have trouble spelling, so I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but if you can't put a proper sentence together, ughh!!
So, it wouldn't really be a deal breaker for me if they had trouble spelling, but not being able to write a sentence, that might be the final straw.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
For what it's worth, I can’t spell worth a damn! However, most of the world doesn't know thanks to spell check.
I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but I'm not really paying attention to whether or not a girl is placing her commas in the proper places. It's just not a big deal to me. I tend to focus more on what she is saying...or rather has written. However, mixing up "there and their" or "to and too" kind of annoys me. And writing without ANY punctuation and in all lower caps is hard to read - like a giant run-on sentence.
Call me lazy, but I don't want to work that hard to decipher what someone is saying. Besides, I figure they are the lazy one if they can't hit the Cap Lock every now and then and throw in some punctuation.
By the way, writing me a business e-mail using txt lingo like "c u l8tr" - sooo not cool. Nothing is more unprofessional than that!
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Permalink Reply by SuzANNE on -
Well said both of you, Lacey, thanks for being on Team Journalist. And David- great point. Content > structure. I don't expect dudes to be brainiacs or anything, it's just nice to see someone put thought into what they're saying. Let's face it, text messages, Instant Messages, and Myspace/Facebook msgs are outlets for flirtation-- it's part of courtship these days. Why not put your best foot forward? Even if it means you have to visit dictionary.com or use *gasp* a punctuation mark. I'm a huge Chuck Klosterman fan (Of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs and Esquire magazine fame). He looks like an absolute dork but man, he sure can pop out of the page and strangle you with his witticisms. That's sexy to me.
But so is the right amount of stubble (see Unbreakable's post on Physical Attributes).
To each his own. Happy weekend party people.
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Permalink Reply by Sebastian on -
For me, as a guy, I get quite majorly turned off by a girl that can't type, spell or punctuate correctly.
I assume that we're talking about email and instant messaging here, right? Well, I am currently interested in a girl, she's very cute, and fun, but she types like 'like dis u no?' when I chat to her online. It's painful.
She says it's just because she's typing quickly... and she doesn't seem dumb, so I am inclined to believe her. But... yes... a well-spoken/written lady would be infinitely more of a turn-on for me.
Luckily I've never been in a position where I've had to turn down a girl for being 'too thick'... I guess I am too choosy about who I hang out with :)
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
As long as they can speak clearly and I can understand them, and they have enough of a vocabulary to get their point across as specifically as possible, it's fine with me. I haven't have much occasion to see written works of most people I have dated.
I am far more bothered by guys who have absolutely no knowledge of the word outside their own little career field or social circle. A total lack of curiosity about affairs outside their own little box is more of a turn-off than their writing or grammar.
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Permalink Reply by Ben on -
Communication is what holds your attention after the first five seconds or so, so I don't think it is at all unusual to have some kind of standard in this regard. I think if someone can't string a decent sentence together then they are missing out on an important life skill. Eloquence can certainly be a turn on for me as well. Being well spoken (or in the case of text, having an interesting style) suggests a general curiosity in learning new things if you ask me, and who wouldn't want that in a potential partner?
Sure, I could probably date someone who wasn't really into reading/writing (providing they weren't the type of person who mixes up cases in the middle of a word for no reason.. xxxYoU KnOw... LiKe THiS!!!xxxx), but being able to hold a conversation on a certain level is a definite requirement. As long as you can express your ideas (and you actually have ideas!), then that's dandy.
So yes, perfectly normal in my opinion.
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Permalink Reply by Errant Gosling on -
Very much so. I agree with Ben -- after the first fleeting moments, it's your ability to communicate with someone that will make you want to stay. If you find their ability to communicate lacking...well, other things will be lacking as well.
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Permalink Reply by L.L. on -
No - I used to be a television news writer/producer and it STILL makes me cringe. It really pisses me off when I see all the poor spelling and grammar on people's facebook accounts.
Also - when my boyfriend leaves me love notes, he always spell checks them, because he knows how I get... ha ha!
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Permalink Reply by joshlos on -
On one hand, as someone who studied English and journalism in college and worked in journalism afterward, I understand becoming annoyed and/or turned off by poor spelling and grammar. However, on the other hand, I don't expect everyone to have the same understanding or experience with words and writing as myself or other people who've studied similar subjects.
Also, for me, focusing on spelling and grammar at one point was just an extension of some obsessive-compulsive tendencies I had. As I let those go, I came to realize that writing is just another form of communication. So, if I can understand the written word of a girl in whom I'm interested who has lesser grammar skills, without struggling through it, no problem.
However, if I'm dealing with such a girl in a work situation, or if I know she has a background in writing, I'm more likely to hold her to a higher standard. I'm also, thus, more likely to lose respect for her if she doesn't live up to that standard. Unless she's really, really hot. And I mean, like, super hot.
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Permalink Reply by joshlos on
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Oh, and with all that said, it definitely earns a woman bonus points if she has excellent grammar and spelling, or uses certain stylistic nuances someone with terrible grammar couldn't pull off.
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Permalink Reply by L.L. on
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I agree you can't expect everyone to have the same understanding as those of us who've studied journalism, but come on... they're, there, their. Then and Than. This is second grade English and people still don't have a clue. That bothers me.
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