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Julie and Julia: the movie
So yesterday I rented the movie "Julie and Julia" and I must say was surprised I enjoyed it so much. There was a line in the movie that got me thinking... Julie mentioned that she hated her friends and what does that say about you... to hate your friends? Her friend (one who she didn't hate) was sitting right there and said that it was normal. That's it's normal to hate your friends. Julie's husband then chimes in to say he likes his friends, that men like their friends. And so it got me thinking... is it normal for a woman to secretly hate her friends?
I hate to admit that yes, I do hate some of my friends. Do you think this is normal? And how many of you too hate some of your friends?
I hate to admit that yes, I do hate some of my friends. Do you think this is normal? And how many of you too hate some of your friends?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Becky Travels on -
I can't say that I hate any of my friends but I will say that I dislike some of the people my friends hang out with. I've recently tried to only surrounding myself with people who love me and are positive influences in my life. Before this though, I would agree. I did have friends that I loved to hate.
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Permalink Reply by Lauren on -
Surrounding yourself with good positive people is something everyone should do.
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Permalink Reply by Linda on -
I have to say that I have ALWAYS gotten along with all my male friends and never really seem to drift apart. When it comes to female friends though-- things happen and after a certain amount of time we just split. So I don't secretly hate my friends or anything, but personally I have more success with my male friends than female ones.
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Permalink Reply by Lauren on
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Same with me... I think it's because as women we are naturally jealous and always in competition with each other. And sometimes that can really get in the way of things. It's weird...
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Permalink Reply by leilani on -
Are we really, though? (Always in competition with each other?)
I mean, aren't guys in competition with one another, too?
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Permalink Reply by Linda on
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I agree with Jane... I don't think it's competition. For me, I just thought it was because I tended to be a 'tomboy' playing football and other sports with guys and just being more of a geek than someone who enjoys fashion, etc. Dunno, but competition...!?
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Permalink Reply by Kanriah on -
I have never been a woman who has friends she hates. There are times I would get upset with them, or I'd wonder why they were doing something So Stupid, but nothing long term.
Maybe that's why I have always had such small numbers of friends and a hard time making Friends rather than acquantainces. I refuse to call someone a friend if I hate them.
I really remembered and thought about that line too actually. There were a couple lines in that movie that I just loved.
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Permalink Reply by Sara Awbrey on -
I'm currently dealing with a dilemma of not really liking one of my friends, it's not quite hate, but a very strong dislike. I've just found that we've become completely different people and she's someone I don't respect anymore. Yet it's virtually impossible not to remain friends anymore, we're both in the same social circle, and I'm afraid I would burn too many bridges if I acted on this.
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Permalink Reply by Writing to Reach You on -
I have never hated my friends. I'm not a fan of drama, so I don't hang out with people I don't like if I can help it. I do hate the stereotype that women can't get along with other women, though.
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Permalink Reply by leilani on
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I am really very surprised by these answers! Pleasantly, I should say!
I tend to hang out with guys more because although they lack knowledge of fashion, etc. (except for the gay ones, usually) they don't have all of the drama that tends to occur in girl groups.
I do think there are often undertones of "hatred" and jealousy/competitiveness in female friendships. I don't feel this way toward any of my girlfriends personally as they're all very awesome, but I do think it exists in our "group" - case in point: everyone has to say what they are wearing/how they are styling their hair/etc. before a night out and people actually get mad if you change this!
(I used to think it was to avoid being over/underdressed until my friend told me it is 'to make sure no one looks better than you' - MeOw)
I kind of think it all goes back to evolutionary psychology and the different mating goals of men and women, personally. (That is, I think they encourage a certain type of female-female relationship and male-male relationship.) But maybe I need to hit the hay?
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Permalink Reply by Linda on
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"they don't have all of the drama that tends to occur in girl groups"
YES! Exactly. =]
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Permalink Reply by Amanda on -
I try not to "hate" anyone, it's such a strong word, but there are definitely people that I dislike or don't agree with. These people are not my friends, though. I think what I've realized over the years is that my friends are going to do or say things that I wouldn't necessarily do or say myself- whether it's a little bit of drama, narcissism, etc. In the end, though, I think the diversity of my friendships is what makes them work- everyone brings something different to the table, and it keeps me well-rounded. No matter what, I know that my friends would be there for me through anything, and that is reason enough not to hate them, and put up with their idiosyncracies.
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