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Long-distance relationships.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ashley on -
I believe that BOTH of the parties need to be dedicated to making it work. I've seen too many friends cheat on their girlfriends who are in the states while their deployed because they've known them forever. But me personally, I could do it but it has to be extensive keeping in touch, SKYPE blah blah
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Permalink Reply by treacleandink on -
I was in a long distance relationship for a year before we moved in together. We were 4 hours apart and saw each other maybe once every 2 months.
We made the decision to move in together really early on in the relationship, and me being at University was what was stopping us from being closer together.
Knowing that eventually we'd be living together made things easier to get through when it got tough, but it wasn't that difficult. In fact, it was probably a good thing whilst I was in my final year of Uni as it gave me the time alone to work on my studies, and work in a job to pay for moving 300 miles away to live with him.
Now, he's at uni, and he works and although we live together - we still don't see each other a lot. We get one day a week together as most night's he's studying and working on Saturdays, and I work full time during the week.
It's hard, but knowing that in the long run he'll have a good job and we can afford to spend more time together - it's definitely worth it.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel Finlayson on -
I think if you are going to embark on one (as I have for about six months, but am not anymore) you need a few things-
Very regular communication, but not forced communication
Regular visits planned
Creative ideas for video chat (like watching a movie together)
A planned END to the long distance thing. I could not have stayed in the relationship for long if we had not had some sort of idea of when we would be together again in the not too distant future. If the person is meant for you than one of you have to take a plunge eventually so that you can be together again. Otherwise you get stuck in a relationship that can't really move forward. I mean unless having that person far away works better for you haha.
All I know is that it has been great to be near each other again, it makes learning about each other much easier.
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Permalink Reply by Emryl Ashley Kovakan aka Pilgrim on -
It's kind of pointless. Okay it's really pointless. My community feels the same way. I want to say, somewhere down the line I'll come out to another state, get laid and come back. Or maybe I should hold out for a skype strip; all this is with the girl I'm currently talking to online in another state.
I don't know what I can say to make me seem like a more conducted guy.
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Permalink Reply by Kelsey on -
My hubby and I have been married for 6 1/2 years and still haven't perfected the long distance relationship when he deploys. When we were dating it was hard on both of us. He was in basic training and I was in my first semester of college and we both felt like we couldn't breathe without the other. We wrote every chance we got and he would call when he was allowed to. Through our marriage there have been countless weeks apart, several months away for training, and we are quickly approaching his 3rd deployment.
Communication has always been important, but sometimes too much communication is dangerous. When he deployed to Baghdad in 2008 he was able to call me almost every day as well as send e-mails. We quickly ran out of things to talk about and he began to pick fights with me over stupid stuff.
Military families face such a different type of long distance relationship though. And I'm not saying that to belittle any of the civilian LDRs, but when the military member leaves they are off to do their job and focus on one thing they are generally taken care of as far as basic necessities. The spouse they leave behind still has to carry on with normal, everyday life. The spouse has to get up every morning to go to work, the bills still need to be paid, and the lawn still needs to be mowed. Whether or not the military member is there, usually most military spouses are constantly preparing themselves for the inevitability of running the household alone. I'm constantly thinking: can I fix this without him? can i lift that without him? can i reach that without him?
I imagine that civilian LDRs are different because the two people are simply carrying on their lives in different places. Each takes care of themselves and doesn't necessarily have to worry about providing for the other, although they have strong emotions. I'm really interested to hear what it is like.
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Permalink Reply by Nycole on -
Don't think I could do it. I love seeing the person I'm dating too much. I admire the trust people have in long distant relationships though.
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Permalink Reply by Whitney Rae on -
I have been in a relationship for three years, he is four hours away.
It wasn't really easy at first... it was super hard for about a year. We almost broke up. BUT we talked about our differences and worked on them for eachother. Now we're great and I'm moving in two weeks to be closer to him.
He owns two businesses so he's always working. That was a big thing for me, cause I didn't get to talk to him as much as I wanted to.
With distance, you have to make sacrifices WAY more than when the person is 10 seconds away. For a while I was always the one calling, and we talked about that, now he calls more than he did... it is just something you really have to work at but if you want it to work, you will make it work.
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Permalink Reply by Queen Bee on -
i think they work IF both sides put in effort. no effort = nt gna work :(
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Permalink Reply by Jewely Hoxie on -
I did it for 9 months, but we visited each other once a month, at least. It's tough though. ichat was a relationship saver. We would also send each other care packages with fun little gifts and food and would write each other dirty stories. I'm so glad we don't have to do it anymore though. If there wasnt an end in the long distance in sight, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
I think its good to like maybe have an open relationship? Enjoy what the rest of life has to offer while you can, but in order for that to work, you need to set boundaries and have complete open communication.
But if you really think its great and you don't want something else and you know you'll be able to come together again someday, go for it. Just do whatever works best for you. Long distance always leads to hot reunions when you do get to see each other, definite plus side. My boyfriend and I would have some weekends where we barely left the room.
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Permalink Reply by Brittany B on -
So I wanted to bring this back up because I'm talkign to someone who isn't close to me. I'm nervous, but I hope it's worth it in the end.
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Permalink Reply by Leelee Face on -
I'm absolutely against this! I was in a long-distance relationship for three years and ended up losing friends because of it. But in the actual relationship there were serious communication breakdowns, strings of lies, and you hardly ever get to see each other. Terrible!
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
Hang in there, Brittany! If he/she is the right person for you, it IS totally worth it.
I know I posted in here before, but I'm not sure what page my post is on. But basically, my wife and I dated for four years while long distance and we even got engaged, long distance. When I met her after those four years, I moved in the same night I arrived and we got married less than a month later. Now, we've been married for three years and have a wonderful marriage. She's my best friend, we're together 24/7 and we're total soul mates. Most people I know have told us we have one of the healthiest marriages they have ever seen.
And it all started because of Harry Potter. ♥
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