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Loving a Former Drug Addict
I was just wondering if anyone out there is in a relationship with someone who is a reformed drug addict and how they cope with the challenges they face in their day-to-day lives as a result of it.
I have a friend who is a recovering coke addict and I see some different ticks of behavior that I think someone might have to get used to if they are in a relationship/living with them. I have no personal experience with this (at least I think) so I thought I'd get a discussion going on here.
How hard is it to be in that relationship? What kinds of things do you deal with because of their former dependency? Is there a constant fear that they might go back to using?
I have a friend who is a recovering coke addict and I see some different ticks of behavior that I think someone might have to get used to if they are in a relationship/living with them. I have no personal experience with this (at least I think) so I thought I'd get a discussion going on here.
How hard is it to be in that relationship? What kinds of things do you deal with because of their former dependency? Is there a constant fear that they might go back to using?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Alexandra Tsaritsa (call me Tsa) on -
You should love your friend no matter what. Unless she's stealing your television to buy dope, you should just have a normal relationship.
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Permalink Reply by Erin McCarthy on -
I want to support this friendliness but there are too many drug addicts in my family for me to go anywhere near that. It's how I cope. Yeah, people can change....I've just know a lot of them who didn't. And so if given the option I won't even consider it.
I know it must seem a little heartless. I would serve them in the working sector, help rehabilitate them personally--even make meaningful, yet professional connections. But I won't date an addict in recovery because they are not people I could ever feel fully safe around.
For me there is always that fear, even if they were sober when I met them.
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Permalink Reply by Tiffani D. on -
Something is wrong with the 20SB website so I can't individually reply to people as I normally would, so:
Alexandra-I am definitely trying to do that, I don't want to treat him differently because of something that is in his past, with the emphasis on past.
Erin-I know what you're saying. I did meet him when he had been 2 years sober and he seems like he's kept his life in check so I don't want him to think I'm afraid of that, but there is that fear that he might one day go back. You say that you would not date anyone who is in recovery, but aren't they really in recovery for the rest of their lives? So does that mean you won't date anyone who is a recovering addict, period? And what if he's just a friend, like in my situation? I could definitely understand if you have had so many bad experiences in the past why you would have this rule.
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Permalink Reply by Lani Mays on -
I'm a former drug addict. I'm happily married and always remember how much better my life is now that what it use to be.
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Permalink Reply by Danielle Albright on -
Is the person in NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or AA? That often helps people who have previous drug use problems due to the structure of it like the twelve steps ordeal and having the support of other people. As long as your friend isn't putting themselves in a situation where they are tempted or allowing themselves to lose control and go back and use, then they might be on their way to living a productive life. Be their friend no matter what, but it's best to go do normal things.. stay away from anywhere they would want to use, like putting an alcoholic in a bar kind of thing.
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