The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Marital Advice
What is one piece of the best marital advice you have ever heard or have learned from first-hand experience?
Worst advice for married couples?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kelli Hale on -
Always say I love you. Every day at least once. It might seem weird and sappy for the first few days, but it's really important. Especially if you're having a rough day, or had an argument. Knowing that your partner still loves you even through out all your flaws is very empowering.
The worst advice a married couple can receive is: "Just get a divorce." While some relationships are doomed from the get go, and toxic you have to remember that marriage is a commitment that needs to be taken very seriously. It should never be "just" get a divorce. Divorce should be the last option.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on -
Love this! The power of words are so important. <3 My wife and I tell each other we love one another constantly... However, we also point out little stuff we love, a few times a day at least. Like she'll point out my "cute" laugh, or how great of a cook I am becoming, or how much she loves the smell of my shampoo. I point out how gorgeous she does her make-up, how I love her "phone" voice, how brilliant she is, etc.
They are just natural to us, however they are beyond powerful! I know she loves me for me and she knows I love her for her. Even the littlest tiniest stuff!
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Brander on -
Always make time for date nights and for sex, no matter how busy you think you are. Your relationship will be better off for it when you are making time for these regularly. I don't know/remember if I received this as advice or if I just figured it out, but it's probably the best advice I have.
Worst advice, well first of all I agree with Kelli. People jump to the divorce word way too quickly. But I'm trying to think if I have any other bad advice. Hmmmm. Usually I just forget the bad advice, so I'll have to think about it.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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I totally agree with lots and lots of sex. Honestly, there's nothing like starting out with wonderful sex and having said sex get better every year because you and your partner know one anothers bodies, fantasies, etc. better!
Also, yes for date days and nights! They're such fun! And they don't need to be expensive - hell, you don't even have to leave the house! Jen and I like buying a movie we've been wanting to see, some good hookah shisha, some wine or Absinthe, a good snack and new PJs and have a stay-at-home date. <3
I also agree about divorce. I understand some people do need, for whatever reason, to get out of a relationship however within reason, divorce should be your last resort! I don't have any experience with divorce except seeing two sisters go through 'em.
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Brander on
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I don't even think you have to be having "lots" of sex (well, it probably depends on how you define "lots"). I think it's more important to focus on what the two people need and making sure it's a priority.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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Eep, I agree! I didn't mean that everyone SHOULD have lots of sex - by lots, I mean at least once a day - I put my own relationship into my answers way too much. ^_^;;; I totally agree that every couple is different and sex should be based on what they need and want!
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Permalink Reply by Ti on -
I think it is equally as poisonous to a relationship to threaten divorce during an argument, even if it is an idle threat. Just putting the idea out there diminishes the relationship and plants a seed that the idea is an option.
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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Don't believe shit people spew. :p When Jen and I were first married, we loved spending all of our time together - whether we were home, working (we worked together) or whatever. This pissed so. many. people. off. and they said we were in a honeymoon phase, which wouldn't last and we'd become tired of one another. Here we are, five years later, still spending every minute together with working four jobs under our belt as a team and we love spending this time together more and more every year.
The above advice can cover anything tailored to y'all though. If you two are happy, that is ALL that matters.
In my opinion, two of the worst pieces of advice I have EVER heard for married couples is: 1. that it's okay to tell white lies. For some couples, maybe... I don't know. I can only speak for my marriage, but we both have utmost trust in one another and we don't believe in lying... Ever. And 2. "innocent" flirting is okay (with other people.) In our opinion, there is nothing "innocent" about flirting, and unless one of us is like, joking around with a close friend of OURS, than we don't flirt with other people - period.
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Brander on
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Oooo I would agree with those two. I definitely think like lying can be a big trap! Especially when it comes to finances. Don't try and hide financial things from your spouse because it will come back to bite you. You need to have all your cards on the table.
And sort of along with the innocent flirting is the work spouses - never a good idea in my opinion. If there is someone in your life who you are treating like they are your spouse on an emotional level, it doesn't matter if you're not sleeping with them, because it will have a devastating effect on your relationship. People always focus on the sexual aspect of affairs, but really sexual affairs usually start as emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are just as dangerous, if not more, in my opinion.
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Permalink Reply by Ti on
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I do third these agreements. I think the flirting isn't wrong in and of itself, but the point is that putting yourself in a flirtatious situation can lead to other stuff... and even if it never does, the fact that it could have has the potential to leave doubt. Why plant seeds of doubt if it can be avoided? Help the other person to trust you. Same with white lies: if you lied about liking that movie... and the other person finds out, it opens up the window of doubt on everything...
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