Oh, the annoying things men do...

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Permalink Reply by leilani on April 13, 2010 at 1:21pm

i also think it's interesting that evolution even underlies current mating rituals e.g. features generally considered attractive in a woman are associated with higher hormone levels (and higher fertility) and things like physical stature or status in men relate to the fact that he will promote the survival of the offspring (e.g., by offering resources or physically protecting them, etc.)

crazy right?? because it's all inherent... we don't really KNOW why we like the things we do but it's because we're wired to further our species...!

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Permalink Reply by leilani on April 13, 2010 at 1:16pm

That's a really interesting article. It wasn't really what I expected. I really, really believe in evolutionary psychology and I do think the behaviors of men - cheating included - are based in that. As are the behaviors of women.

I found the article interesting because I don't think he necessarily addresses or reflects that, at least not directly. In fact, I think the things he talks about kind of apply to all cheaters and are very valid and true. But I don't think it's a male thing - I sometimes feel a lot of the things he expresses, too. (I guess it also depends how you view affairs as it seems many women get involved in primarily emotional affairs whereas many men are more into the physical affair situation.)

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Permalink Reply by Brian E on April 13, 2010 at 1:31pm

Actually that's really interesting to think about - the different kinds of affairs men and women have. And you'll even notice in the anecdote from one of the women he cheated with, she seemed to be looking for an emotional connection and was upset when he rebuffed her for saying, "I love you." So on the one hand we have a woman cheating, presumably dissatisfied or unfulfilled by her lover, who decides to look elsewhere - but it is that emotional attachment, the binding of souls, two becoming one that she is really after, which is further support for the evolutionary idea. Her quest to satisfy her emotional needs, though she's cheating, may actually be a search for an alternative monogamous partner, rather than a dismissal of monogamy.

Granted it's a single case study and it'd be easy to find men and women who behave against this model, but I think there is a general, over-arcing correlation between the sexes in how we use love.

Also, yeah, I like that he never really mentions evolution outright but his ideas seem to uphold it at every turn. It seems he reaches the idea without necessarily having prior knowledge of existing theory.

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Permalink Reply by rach on April 12, 2010 at 9:53pm

you are NOT alone!!! i was ready to move to tibet this past weekend!! everyone tells me that it has to happen someday...and we are just one day closer to "someday"...i roll my eyes at that. it is so frustrating and i hate stories when people (who are married) say to me "look at so and so...they got married at 33! there is still hope for you!!"... those people are half a breath away from a punch in the nose. i am not bitter... i am not angry... it is just hard waiting for the man (which there is one i am kind of crazy about) to step up and make a move...which i don't know if *he* ever will... sigh. "it has to happen someday", right? ...haha.

i don't have any sage advice or any words of wisdom. just don't give up start collecting cats just yet... and know you are not alone. :)

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Permalink Reply by Sweta SenGupta on April 13, 2010 at 1:09am

I'm a guy,So I'm ALWAYS right about tech stuff.UM NO. hmp!

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