The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Online Dating?
Have any of you tried online dating (match.com, eharmony, etc.)? I just started match.com a few weeks ago and it is a lot harder than I thought it would be! There were so many winks, emails, and phone calls to keep up with...it was overwhelming. And now I have been on a few dates and the guys are nice and cute and funny, but there aren't any sparks. How long do you keep dating someone without sparks? When do you move from formal dinner and drinks to hanging out on the couch watching a movie? Should I wait for him to call me after a date? I just feel like I don't know what I am doing.
I also struggled with if I should blog about it or not. I gave in to the urge somewhat, but I am so scared one of my dates will find my blog or if it did work out with someone he would look back and read about my adventures-in-dating.
What are your experiences with online dating? Got any tips?
I also struggled with if I should blog about it or not. I gave in to the urge somewhat, but I am so scared one of my dates will find my blog or if it did work out with someone he would look back and read about my adventures-in-dating.
What are your experiences with online dating? Got any tips?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by MargotToBed on -
:) i don't keep dating anyone without sparks - i did match.com for a month and met a guy who was cool and we had a fun casual fling and then got back on for one month and wasn't really impressed... I like it as a way to meet new people when you feel like you're in a slump of the same friends etc, but hasn't helped find new exciting relationships really...
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Permalink Reply by jess on -
I met my boyfriend on OkCupid (a free online dating site), and we're celebrating our one-year anniversary of our first date this Thursday.
For me, most of my "weeding out" took place online, through emails/messages and IM. If I couldn't get some kind of a sense that we'd get along, I didn't even meet them in person. I'm not saying there had to be sparks, but there had to be the possibility of sparks or I wasn't going to go out on that limb.
This most recent time (early 2008; I'd been on back in 2004 as well but only ended up in long-distance relationships which ended pretty quickly because of the distance) I ended up meeting up/going on a date with two guys. The first was pretty nice; he had most of his life together and a good head on his shoulders, but there just weren't really any sparks. Physically, I wasn't that attracted to him, and mentally, we didn't have a whole lot in common. He was easy to talk to online, but when I met him in person I realized it was mostly just because he fit pretty well into my "friend" category.
Then I met Derek, and it was completely different. I'd been talking to him for just as long as the other guy, but it was always kind of flirty, and joking, but at the same time I felt like I could really talk to him about plenty of things, and he was a really good listener. When I met him in person, his personality was amazingly close to what I'd encountered online; it didn't feel like he'd been putting up a front or anything, like just trying to score some dates. We were nervous at first, but by the end of the night we ended up getting politely kicked out of a Coffee Bean because we had stayed in there so late talking. And when he took me back home, I realized that I kind of didn't want to leave.
Realistically, your mileage may vary, depending on where you are, what you're looking for, etc. But it's worked really well for me.
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Permalink Reply by Your Ill-fitting Overcoat on -
I dated someone for a few weeks after meeting him online and I blogged about it EXTENSIVELY. Things fizzled between us about four or five months ago and he just found my blog last week and read through THE ENTIRE THING. He actually sent me a really nice email and said he thought I should get a book deal, hahaha. Man, I got lucky with that one.
Some of the other guys I've blogged about? Might not be so nice if they found out.
As for online dating, it's like dating anywhere else-- a lot of weirdos and a few catches. You've just gotta keep digging. As far as how long to wait, I give it one date if he's a nutcase and two if he's nice but spark-free. After two dates, I move on if there's nothing there. That's my approach, anyway.
Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Mila G. on -
I don't blog about dates or relationships for I fear the results won't be as nice.
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Permalink Reply by Suz on -
Thanks for all the advice guys! I forgot how hard dating is and the online thing throws another wrench in the program. Glad to know other people have had success with it. I guess I'll keep trucking along and hope to find some sparks soon!
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on -
I have never dated online, so I really have no experience of it, but I do know people who have met online and did have sparks as you call it, but if there no attraction to someone keeps it moving. That’s how I see it, I know you can grow to like a person, but hey that may take a little bit too long or it may even end up on the other side where u end up disliking the person.
Which will be a waste of time, so I would say go for attraction/sparks.
All the best!
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Permalink Reply by Erini CS on -
I used match.com when I was 17 (I lied about my age at the time) to get my date for my junior prom... Then in college a friend got me to sign up for mate1.com ... it's free for women, but besides one nice guy I haven't seen that site as worth it at all.... and I've been on okcupid.com for a while now. I've met a handful of people... and well the tests and questions and whatnot help if you get bored... but I've been debating deleting my account, but I'm not sure at this point.
I tend to be more critical online. I'll weed people out quicker, while in person I might actually give more people a chance... But if I don't find them physically attractive or enjoy their conversation online, then I tend to move on... if things online seem to be going well, then I try to meet up... if there aren't any sparks offline, then I don't go beyond friendship.
My most recent infatuation I found on okc -- and I've blogged about it... he reads it too. Personally I'm not too worried about it.... He and I aren't going to date, but even before we discussed that matter, he was reading my blog...
My mom's found her last few boyfriends online... and my dad found his new wife online as well... Really just think of online dating as a way of testing the waters with someone... A way to break the ice. Because really, it's the offline relationship that matters.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
DLS lips?
Huh? I don't get it.
Stuff like that is reason #548 why I would never sign up for an online dating service.
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Permalink Reply by pinginrua on -
aaaaaaaaagh that's horrible!
(i didn't get it either)
what a prick! see, that's a big problem with online dating - or online ANYTHING - people are meaner, cruder, and feel like they can say whatever they like when they'd probably never DARE in person.
shame they can't develop some program for dating sites that would make a hand pop out of his computer and give him the smack he deserves.
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on
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thats really bad!!!! for the first message that guy must be on some drugs.
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