The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Prop 8 Passed And I Want To Know Why, Seriously
I don't think my blog is read by many people who are gay, so I'm hoping to reach a wider/more diverse audience by posting this question here. I recently wrote a post, or rather a rant, on Prop 8 passing in CA. But I honestly don't understand why it passed. You'll have to read my post to fully understand what I mean.
11/5/08 - One Giant Leap Forward And One Giant Leap Backwards
http://diamondkt.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-giant-leap-forward-and-on...
Also, here’s a question I’ve been wondering...if gay couples have to work so hard at the process of trying to get married (or at least in the U.S. they do), I have to wonder if they will work as equally hard, if not harder, at keeping their marriage strong? Straight couples can get married in a sinch, takes little to no effort. So do you think that lack of work to "get married" is part of the reason many straight couples don’t work hard at staying married?
It only makes sense that the harder you have to work to obtain something, the more committed you are to keeping it.
11/5/08 - One Giant Leap Forward And One Giant Leap Backwards
http://diamondkt.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-giant-leap-forward-and-on...
Also, here’s a question I’ve been wondering...if gay couples have to work so hard at the process of trying to get married (or at least in the U.S. they do), I have to wonder if they will work as equally hard, if not harder, at keeping their marriage strong? Straight couples can get married in a sinch, takes little to no effort. So do you think that lack of work to "get married" is part of the reason many straight couples don’t work hard at staying married?
It only makes sense that the harder you have to work to obtain something, the more committed you are to keeping it.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on -
So as you may or may not know, there are tons of Prop 8 protest marches going on in various cities. And like any good protest march, people are carrying signs. My favorite sign I saw (well photographed online) was...
"Can I vote on your marriage?"
Ha. Love it! I bet all the people who voted yes on Prop 8 would shit if the gay and lesbian community got to vote on who THEY could marry!
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Permalink Reply by Lacey Bean on -
My fave was the one that Rachel from Mom in Real Life had, that said "Gays have ever right to be as miserable as I make my husband."
LOVE IT!
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on
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Yes! I did see that one too - it's a good one.
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Permalink Reply by The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know on -
I just posted about this!
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
I'm not going to comment on Porp 8 because I haven't read your post, but I remember reading somewhere, an essay or something, some time ago where someone suggested making it easier to divorce but more difficult to marry would probably decrease the divorce rate significantly. There was suggestion of a waiting period, classes, and a test.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on
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Well not to toot my own horn, but check out the post. It's a good one and it was even featured on BrazenCareerist.com Top 100.
It's probably the most controversial post I've ever written since it touches upon sex, religion, politics, money, etc. And it's a topic people feel very strongly about, whether for or against gay marriage.
Ok, this now sounds like a shameless plug and I hate shameless plugs. Sorry.
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Permalink Reply by Muppet on -
I wrote a shit-ton about this too...
I think part of it was the last-minute campaigning.
The last week before elections, Los Angeles was bombarded with this really sick commercial. Someone had their child ( their child!) participate in a commercial. A Mother reading to her child is talking about the 'dangers' of gay marriage, because they will start teaching it in school. Then the child looks into the camera and says "I don't want to learn about lesbian weddings at school".
They also talked about how gay weddings would become cultural field trips.
It was so last minute, and it was only the last few days the opposing party could get a commercial up, with the big-cheese of school in CA saying "umm... WHY would we teach about lesbian weddings in school? Do you remember marriage class?"
To me, this seems IDIOTIC, but there are people who are sort of on the fence - who were at least undecided before that - who really believed that if they said "they're going to teach it in schools" on television, then it had to be true.
Plus, the way they worded it on the ballot, people who just breezed right through it, or weren't that good at reading comprehension, might have voted "yes" thinking they were being pro-equality. ( There were people who voted at my voting station, outside, who were GAY, who didn't know until a big discussion ensued that they were supposed to vote "NO").
So basically, many idiotic reasons.
Not to plug myself, but if you're interested -
I just put up some pictures of the gay protesters at the Oscars... (Really dug what Sean Penn said about them)... And more hate-photos, in another part.
The whole thing makes me sick.
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Permalink Reply by Chase on -
I'm with you there, David.
My conservative Californian family feels gay-marriage threatens the Sanctity of Marriage, but I believe these couples who are given the new sense of entitlement - which they've been working towards for decades - will value marital bonds - not take them for granted like the straight folk.
-One of the "straight folk"
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Permalink Reply by d.muffin on -
I can personally attest to the idea of working hard just to get married helps later on in the marriage. Having to go through all the BS to get a marriage visa and be legally allowed to live in the same country together, not to mention all the forced seperation that caused, definitely makes me value my marriage more. Even now, more than a year after legally coming to the UK, I still am very thankful for the hard work we both put in just to be together. It certainly translates into our relationship because we remember how much we really wanted it (and it makes the petty scraps seem so silly). So yes, I think in theory at least, gay couples will probably be much stronger for the struggles they go through just to be recognized as married.
It's such a sad time when we're allowing arbeitrary morals to discriminate against yet another group of people for no reason. Even here in the UK where gay couples have the ability to be together, it's still not refered to as a 'wedding'. 'Civil union' still serves to ostracize and push aside while pretending to accept. Slowly but surely things will shift and another group of people will be discrimated against, and that's what makes me the saddest.
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Permalink Reply by Shannon on -
Being in a same sex relationship is definitely not easy. I have put a lot of thought into your question myself. Thank you for opening up about this. I've never met you, or even chatted with you on here for that matter, and still, it means a lot.
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Permalink Reply by David Stehle on
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You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed the post.
I wrote about it because it was a topic that just really frustrated me, even as a straight guy. It seems so stupid to me that if we are going to be a country that preaches about everyone being entitled to equal rights, that we actually follow thru with that. That we practice what we preach.
So I think gay people are entitled to be just as miserable as straight people who marry. ;)
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Permalink Reply by raych on -
i just came out to my parents over the weekend ... and what i found is that some people are just uneducated on the subject. people have a fear of the unknown and think that allowing gays to marry is the equivalent of opening pandora's box (allowing adults to marry children, relatives to marry each other, etc.)
i think that the way to make headway on the subject is simply to talk to people about it and to clarify all these fears that people have about it.
if people are against gay marriage, i'd rather them be against it for valid reasons ... not because they're scared of it
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