We have a few blog posts lined up around this over the next few weeks as part of a blog series we are doing on dating, but interested to hear what you guys think.
Is social media (Facebook, Twitter, IM, chat apps on your phone, etc) hurting you / your relationships, or making them better?
Some questions to kick this off...
- Have you ever realised you've been cheated on via social media? (or been caught cheating!)
- Ever broken up with someone (or got dumped) on Facebook?
I suspected something was going on when my ex wouldn't look at his facebook messages in front of me, and after I did some investigating, it turned out that yes, he had cheated on me. So. There's that. I mean, I'm glad I found out and I'm glad that social media does keep us a little more accountable, I guess.
BUT my current relationship was born online. My fiance and I initially met in person but then fell in love through facebook messages and video chatting. A much happier story.
Ah, that is a much happier story!
I discovered I was being cheated on (we were doing long distance and hardly knew each other - baaaad idea!) via pictures and wall messages from a girl on his MySpace page. Also glad I found out, but when it is SO public you feel a little bit silly. x Precious
here's my post about it:
That that frown was turned upside down :))))))
I think social media is trouble when it comes to relationship. In my last relationship, my ex was jealous of me receiving and responding to comments on my blog...all the "handsome, intelligent, older foreign men" (wtf?) intimated him, yet he was seeing every innocent interactions. Same went for liking, commenting, and posting on Facebook and Twitter. I think even when there's no cheating involved, people may feel threatened that you have connections to so many different (and potentially better) people and could easily and secretly talk to someone else. I think as much as cheating is an issue, perceived cheating or perceived opportunities for cheating are common as well.
Sounds like my boyfriend -_-
When I get a comment or like my bf always asks me who its from and how I know him. I'm with him for a reason and he doesn't need to worry.
If you are dating someone who's very insecure or jealous, facebook etc can really negatively affect your relationship :( I think Erin is right - as much as actual cheating is an issue, perceived cheating or opportunities for cheating can be so detrimental. Bella - Hopefully your BF gets over his insecurities and realises he shouldn't worry!
I met my boyfriend in college. He left school early because he got hired off a public bid. We kept in contact via Facebook. I got hired for the same state about two years later. We always checked in with each other on Facebook... ok, he only logged on like once every two weeks, but still! Anyway, he was a sweetheart and offered to help me find my place in the city. I did... it was with him.
Neither of us are the jealous kind. He never checks it. I rarely check mine. Facebook was the reason we reunited - I will give it that.
Aw I'm a fan of your happy ending. That is really cool!
Do you think if it wasn't for Facebook you guys would've emailed or called, and met up anyway? Know that sounds like a bit of a leading question, but I have reconnected with a lot of people on Facebook (when moving to new cities / even countries), that I otherwise would never have stayed in touch with!
I wonder! My instructors were always really good about finding contacts for me and he was a recent one for them. Maybe? I don't think I would have had the courage to call him up without having kept in contact with him though.
No matter what you do, just don't be like this guy. :D
Seriously though, in this day and age I think you just need to be a bit more sensitive/careful about what you say publicly. I'm not saying you need to censor everything you say for fear that your girlfriend/wife is gawking at your facebook wall, but be cognizant of the fact that it is going to be read by more than 1 person.
Thanks for the link - what an idiot!
I agree about being sensitive to what you put out there. At my last company one of our social media gurus advised us that unless you were comfortable writing your Facebook status update or Tweet on a big sign and standing with it at a busy intersection in rush hour traffic, don't do it! I know that is a little extreme, but it's stuck with me and always makes me think twice before posting.