The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Someone having a dig about your weight.
Hi guys, quite new to this forum but i'd like opinions please!
My mum (who is my favourite person in the universe, naturally) just had a conversation with me that went a little like this.
Mum: How was your takeaway?
Me: Good. Really good, actually. Oh and Claire made jelly.
Mum: Why are you eating sweets then?
( I have a small handful of sweets and just picked at them)
The thing is guys, I know I need to lose 20lbs or so but I don't need my mum reminding me.
Can I just ask, how would you feel if someone close to you brought up your insecurities?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shelly on -
It hard. I know exactly where you're coming from.
I lost a lot of weight about 6 years ago, and its a struggle for me to keep it off. My dad, I love him but he works out ALL THE TIME. And if I eat something that probably isn't the best choice he'll say something like "Wow, do you need those calories?" or "You're going to have a lot of running to do." He is joking but man, it makes me feel like shit.
As bad as this sounds, usually I cope by going to the gym.
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Permalink Reply by Tiffani D. on -
Been there, done that. Guys I know actually comment on my extra weight ALL THE TIME. Sometimes it's a plus for them, other times a minus. I mean, I'm a pretty direct person so I guess they feel it is safe to point out that I'm carrying way too much weight and that its a physical turn off to them when otherwise I would be one foxy momma.
It sucks ass, I'm not gonna lie. I know I'm overweight, I know I need to get it under control. They know it too. I'm not in denial. But really...point it out in a very blatant terms does nothing to help me. In fact, you saying that I physically disgust you would probably make me run for the nearest store and buy out the section of gallon-sized Neopolitan ice cream. Even the most confident and strong-willed person will be damaged by that.
I am constantly trying to become tough-as-nails so that stuff like that won't affect me, but some stuff gets in.
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Permalink Reply by melody joy welton on -
neopolitan is one of my favorites. so good.
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Permalink Reply by Nyx on -
ditto to everything you just said. pointing out my insecurities is only going to make me want to raid the candy section at the store.
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Permalink Reply by Jamie on -
Just moved this to the correct forum. Please pay attention to where you are posting.
But for the record, my mother makes comments like this all the time. It sucks. I'm sorry.
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Permalink Reply by Natalie Paige on -
yeah my dad is worse than my mom...they don't seem to know how to be subtle
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Permalink Reply by Nicola Jane on -
I apologise for posting in the wrong section originally.
Yeah, it's tough. One comment and I will totally comfort eat anyway.
Do people notice the bad things more than they notice the good?
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Permalink Reply by R...RAWR on -
We did this thing at uni once, where you paired up with someone and did an interview.
The girl described me (to the whole goddamn class) as, "Short and stout.."
And of course, I interrupted her (though I was really hurt) and said, "Oh, I forgot my spout today".
But yes, people think it's OK to say stuff about how i look all the time. It doesn't help that where I live, it's almost a culturally acceptable thing to tell you that you're fat or are "big". It really gets to you. It also doesn't help that everyone here is just tiny. I got told I had fat hips a while ago. Seriously? Fat hips?!
My dad has always told me to watch out or I'll have to waddle through the door sideways on account of my large arse.
I drag my fat arse to the gym four times a week and try and eat healthy. It sucks, but I feed off negative reactions. They piss me off so I get all determined to show people up. So here I am, after the fat hip comment, doing 10k runs and trying to get my self esteem separated from my vanity.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on -
Them's called baby-makin' hips. Better find yourself a man and start getting some use out of them! ;)
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Permalink Reply by Ginny on -
the only time I would ever say anything to someone would be if they constantly complained about being over weight but ate really bad and did not exercise. And I would try my best to say it in a nice way. I would never just say "wow you're really going to eat that?" Some people are built larger. I'm an average weight but I could never be a size two. I have wide hips. It's just not going to happen!
and why is it ok to comment on someone being really tall or short but not on someone's weight. I also get comments on how white I am like "wow you are really pale!" No shit! I've been this way my whole life. How about people just keep their comments to themselves.
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Permalink Reply by Gina on -
Well, my mom used to be morbidly obese (I'm not joking, she was well over 350 at 5'7") but then had bariatric surgery. She's now smaller, closer to average but not thin. She's actually one dress size larger than I am. I wear a 12, she wears a 14.
Maybe it's because she used to be fat, and couldn't pick on people for it, but now there is no end to the snide comments about weight. I've had three babies in 4 years, and my weight has obviously fluctuated a lot. She's taken the opportunity to tell me I look "gutty" (hi, extra skin from 37 pounds gained in pregnancy... nothing I can do about it yet) to loudly mentioning that my breasts are obscene (34F, again, not like I can do much about it in the short term). Also, she buys things that are obviously made for high school girls; size 2s, baby-fit t-shirts, etc. and tries to give them to me. When I tell her they won't fit, she takes the opportunity to lecture me on my body shape, and then pretends that she's going to wear them.
I've chalked it up to insecurities on her part, obviously, and I think you need to find a way to categorize the attacks so that they don't affect you the same way. Does your mother have body image issues? Is she concerned to see you follow in her footsteps if she's unhealthy? If you can find the root, you can at least mentally excuse her behavior. It won't stop, of course, but you can at least say to yourself "She doesn't really mean it, it's just because __________."
Good luck. That sucks.
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Permalink Reply by Andy Jones on -
[This is no direct comment to you, as the only picture I can see is your small avatar].
If you know you need to lose weight, and have eaten a takeaway, jelly, and then sweets, it is probably in your best interest to be reminded that you probably should re-evaluate your diet. It's not nice when anyone brings something up that you're insecure about, but if it is something you can fix with some willpower then it would be better hearing it from your mom than a guy you might be trying to get with.
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