The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Survey: What is your BIGGEST quarterlife challenge?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tellie on -
I have the agism problem a lot especially since I don't even look like I'm in my 20s and sometimes people don't even think I'm a teenager! For me my top 3 would be:
1. Dating. Fear of never finding "the one" and getting married.
2. Deciding where I want to go in life, which career I want to pursue
3. Fear of the unknown. My future. Where will I be 6 months from now? a year from now? 5 years from now? etc.
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Permalink Reply by Crystal on -
You're preaching to the choir. I'm totally feeling you, especially on number 3. I've been living 100 miles away from my family for the past six years for school, and now my job, and it's so frustrating to figure out where I need to be, where I want to be, and how it should be.
And the dating thing? I'm right there in kind-of-really starting to freak out about finding "the one", especially after getting ragged on by my family around the holidays. Oh, and the fact that my 76-year-old grandfather has been on more dates in the past couple years than I have.
Maybe we should all track down a 30-something-bloggers community and see what they did to survive these ten years?
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Permalink Reply by Annj Alexander on -
Dating. I want to believe that I will also have a happy ending but being 27 I have yet to meet someone that is worth believing for. And it seems like the good ones are already taken. Somehow I feel like I wasn't in on this secret, to snatch them when you are young!
Career. I'm in the career I chose in my early 20's.. but after just 3 years of working, my mind is already wandering to figure out what else I might want to do. Sometimes 20's seem old, but in the span of a lifetime, we are really just starting out.
Money and assets. Will I make enough to be happy in the future? Should I be saving to buy assets or instead enjoying my life here and now?
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Permalink Reply by Nic on -
I'm past my "quarterlife," but have been reflecting a lot on my 20's lately. Now that I'm about to turn 30 this June, I'm recognizing just what my 20's were for and am prepared to move on from them. The challenges I faced at 25 ultimately were the same challenges I faced at 20, 26, and yes even 29. The biggest challenge? Accepting that your 20's are about making mistakes...with money, with relationships, roommates and friends, jobs and coworkers, and family. I've finally reached a point where I've gone through changes in each part of my life and come out the other side better knowing who I am, what I want, and what I need. I don't think I've ever felt more prepared or happier to become a year older. Admittedly though, I feel certain I'll get there only to find that everything is changing once again. At least now I know I'm up to the challenge!
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Permalink Reply by Jessie May Kezele on -
Thanks for this perspective, Nic! It's definitely true, our 20s is a time of figuring things out by trying, and making mistakes...then hopefully we learn from our mistakes and try a different way the next time we're faced with something similar.
I'd like to acknowledge all of us for the risks we take and the fears we face in our 20s when trying all this stuff out, often for the first time, having no idea, really what we're doing. It can be scary, but the fact that we feel the fear and do it anyway is awesome, and we're learning so much! Rock on!
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Permalink Reply by Lexi on -
At the moment... it's starting over. Sure, i'm pleased that I have this opportunity, and even though I knew it would be difficult, I didn't think it would be THIS difficult and emotional.
I separated from my husband nearly 3 months ago, and we're fighting over division of the property. Until that's done, he refuses to sign the agreement. Until the agreement's signed and i have my stuff back, i feel like my hands are completely tied. I know they aren't and I have my good days and my bad days- today's a bad day. But it just feels like I'll never get back on my feet again- I was so entirely dependent on him during our relationship. I didn't work for 3 years because I was a housewife (and because he didn't want me to have a job- he'd tear up applications, prevent me from getting to interviews or turn them down when they called to offer me one, or he'd make me so upset and stressed out 24/7 that I couldn't work and be at home at the same time, so I'd end up quitting) and I haven't gone to college yet. I'd like to- in fact, I'd love to study again. But priorities at the moment are getting the separation & divorce sorted out, getting a job and my own place (sleeping on the floor of my dad's place isn't particularly comfy), and then school comes after that. But without the education, no one's even remotely interested- and even less so since most of my work experience has involved primarily independent work with animals, conservation, or disabled children. On paper, it doesn't look like I'm particularly social or a good team player. So... finding a job isn't coming as easily as I'd hoped.
I realize that money isn't the key to happiness, but it is the key to survival in today's world. and furthermore, I'd give anything to prove my ex wrong. He always swore up and down that I'd never be able to cope alone, and that I'd never be able to make anything of myself. I really want to do something that I could just rub his face in and say "told ya so." about. It's not just for my own well being... I'll admit, part of my keen desire for success is simply to spite him and other other people that have taken his side in all of this.
The other thing is, I'm terrified of turning into my mother. She let her fears hold her back her whole life so she never accomplished the things she ever wanted to do. And I'm finding, I'm becoming much the same way- we might be strong women in our minds and the experiences we've already been through but those experiences have also frozen us with fear to the point that we're terrified we won't succeed. I don't want to be her, as much as I love her. I want to experience life and things that she never got to do, but the moment the opportunity appears, I freeze up and choke.
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Permalink Reply by Jessie May Kezele on
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Wow, Lexi thanks for being so open and sharing your experience in such detail - very courageous of you! You have set an example for all of us that we can be vulnerable here and be received with compassion.
It sounds like you are going through a huge transition that is very challenging, yet at the same time opening the door for you to finally grow into your amazing self, which has been stifled for a long time by your relationship. Like you said, there are priorities that have to be taken care of right away, but once that's done you have FREEDOM create your life on your terms. How exciting!
I have the same fear of turning into my mother, who also let her life be controlled by fear in many ways. It's true that the fear can be paralyzing and it's important to learn to acknowledge the fear keep going anyway. We often hear about very successful people who we find inspiring, but we don't often hear about how many times they failed before their became "successful." It is because they kept trying and don't give up that they reached the level of success that they did. As Michael Jordon said "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game’s winning shot… and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Keep going girl, I believe that you will create a fabulous life for yourself!
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Permalink Reply by Writing to Reach You on -
Supporting myself financially, especially as a grad student, has been my biggest challenge.
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Permalink Reply by Peyton Smythe on -
hmm... making my career goals happen. part of that involves moving, and i need to do that this year.
and it's about time i have a really big bday party, for once.
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth W - Falling From Prams on -
1. Bills
2. Getting the hell out of Oklahoma
3. Feeling comfortable with my job and life
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Permalink Reply by Heather on -
1. Money. I work full time and stopped going to school to do so. I'm trying to find another job where I can get paid more and work less hours so I can afford to pay my bills and go to school but it's proving to be difficult and I'm barely scraping by as it is.
2. Family. Mine is crazy. I am at the point where I am trying to separate myself from them because they're bringing me down but is that even possible?
3. Decisions. I feel as if I'm just walking around blind trying to figure out the best possible way to get out of my situation. I hope that I am making the right decisions to get to where I'm supposed to be or the path I'm supposed to be on. My biggest decision is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I really just can't figure it out.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel Not Rebecca on -
1. Money - saving enough in case I lose my job (again)
2. Career - I am sick of being a glorified secretary.
3. I want to get out of New Jersey and to Washington D.C., but I never had a fancy-schmancy unpaid internship during college, and despite my MA degree, no one seems to be looking twice at me. So I feel stuck in my decently paying but ultimately going nowhere job.
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