The Bloggers With The Most To Say
This "I've got it figured out" crap pisses me off.
Hey old friends and new people I've never met. I'm Tall Brunette- I lurk here sometimes and have done so for years.
while my old blog is gone, I've started a new one that is a more honest, stripped down blog.
See, what happened is that I became guilty of what most bloggers in this age bracket do:
I started thinking I was an expert on something/anything/everything/life.
I'm kind of over this blogging craze where so many twenty-somethings pretend they have the answers to what ails us. I get frustrated at those bloggers who feel like they've got it so together, they feel the need to tell the rest of us how to do it. What so many of them neglect to add in there is that (I'm willing to bet money on this. I'm broke so it doesn't matter) is that 99% of them didn't do it alone. They had parents to help them. Or someone else.
We are in our twenties, and while some of us have done alright for ourselves, what about the portion of us who have monumentally fucked up, or have never really started living?
Not everyone has traveled the world (I have, but that's not the point. I'm broke because of it) and not everyone has their shit figured out. And more to the point, not all of us are capable of writing "it's all gonna be ok, it will all work it's self out, this too shall pass," type blogs. It seems to be a trend lately that people are consoling themselves with their blogs if they are even brave enough to publicly own up to their imperfections- the ones that aren't cute.
I'm not talking about a rogue freckle or funny birthmark. I'm talking about fucking up royally. Quitting school and working a job you hate but feel like you have no other choice. I'm talking about credit card debt, divorce, moving back in with mom and dad, poor economy, bankruptcy, the tragic world of unsuccessful dating (especially when you really KNOW its you, and not them). I'm talking about over eating and drinking too much and not having any cool stories to tell about it because you do it on your own.
I'm talking about real life.
I have one. It's not perfect. There aren't really many perfectly constructed and pretty pictures in this blog. There aren't a lot of home decor suggestions and my recipes usually include Budweiser and Ramen noodles of sorts.
I'm not hiding behind my blog anymore. It's out there. The real life of a broke-ass, recently moved home, returned to school, debt swamped, sarcastic, slightly bitter, but honest twenty something in Portland Oregon. It's not all glamour here in the northwest. We aren't all Liberal tears and Hipster Glitter. Most of us are broke and hiding from bill collectors at the local Co-op or microbrewery.
If you're at all interested and you relate to this at all, feel free to check out my blog.
http://www.harpndime.wordpress.com
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by K. E. Argonza on -
While I appreciate your sentiment and your need for some authenticity, I also have a peeve - and it's the self-pity blog.
The oh-my-life-sucks, woe-is-me, why-does-everything-have-to-happen-to-me blog...
Actually, I hate that trait in people as well.
Part of owning mistakes is also taking part (if not all) of the blame for it and taking conscious steps to fixing them or making them irrelevant.
I got divorced, he stole my money, then sunk more of it with the legal proceedings - all for a guy I really didn't care about all that much. Barely graduated Undergrad because of finances, and while I was at it, I got hooked onto running (it was a free past time) which landed me on the operating table with two knee surgeries. Is that interesting? Maybe. But I care more about people's upward trajectory than their wallowing at the bottom.
So yes, "it's all gonna be ok, it will all work it's self out, this too shall pass," because you must make it so, and we probably won't do it alone.
Some people chase their dreams, others hunt it down and beat it into submission.
Eitherway, good luck to you,
from a fellow fuck up.
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Permalink Reply by TallBrunette on -
I think the point has been missed...
I guess instead of a 'woe is me,' which is more of a joke, the point is more like "I'm not flying high and a CEO/entrepreneur/design genius/homeowner at 20-something."... some of us (a LOT of us) have to start over. And I think it's important, in an ocean of "look how great I am," blogs, there are ones that are grounded and a little more honest about the nasties in life.
Maybe I feel better when I read about a super model shitting her pants on accident. It brings them back down to reality.
I guess my attempt is to be more real than pretty. There's plenty of pretty out there, and there's plenty of horror out there. What about the in between?
And of course, it DOES get better. It WILL get better. It will get better or we will die. But I think I'd rather show the realities of the 'getting better,' being in tiny victories like "hey, I paid off one of my student loans today after six years of payments," and that it doesn't change a lot at once.
I understand the confusion with self pity. And that's not what it's about. It's about making sarcastic light of a shit situation.
Then again, it's a niche thing as well. I suppose its the antithesis of an Oprah's Book Club party.
And sorry to hear about your divorce and all that shit. If you were closer, I'd get a beer with you and make an epic 'fuck him,' toast.
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Permalink Reply by Coyote Tits on -
OH TB how i have missed you.
I am right there with you. I know some 20sb's are super successful CEO's, married to the love of their lives with 4 kids and have great lives.
I, however, am not one of them. I chased the dream, it came crashing and burning around me and i now live with my parents waiting tables with my masters degree. It's not woe is me, its how the fuck did i end up here and how am i going to get out of it. I make fun of myself, the idiots i date, my coworkers (who i totes love) and everything in between. I relish in the small victories like paying off my credit cards and getting my dogs to the vet. I know i know nothing and eventually things will change, but i have fun mocking my life while its happening.
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Permalink Reply by TallBrunette on
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*high five* yes.
Let's stick together.
Missed ya too CR.
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Permalink Reply by Cait on -
I do relate to a lot of what you said and I think honesty is an important trait to put across in your blog, for me blogging is about putting your personality out there and connecting with others who can relate in some way. I don't put that much personal detail in my blog if I'm honest, perhaps I will in the future but at the minute I try and keep it light, I enjoy fashion and clothes so I blog about that.
When I started blogging I was feeling a bit directionless, I didn't really know what I was going to do with my life, I still don't but I'm not as stressed out about everything, blogging gave me a direction and it is something I enjoy doing.
I would say I fall into the category of never really started living, there is so much I would like to do but at the minute my life is a bit mundane and I am not really a very optimistic person but I don't want to go on about my worries and concerns on my blog because for me, my blog is about being positive, it is a break from the stress of real life and a focus for the things I love.
I have no doubts that the people who write blogs and seem to 'have it together' really don't, everyone has their problems but there is nothing wrong with focusing on the positive.
I really enjoyed having a read of your blog by the way :)
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Permalink Reply by TallBrunette on
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thanks for the compliment.
I understand a lot of the reason people write blogs is for themselves. It's why I write mine. I don't expect to ever get rich (or even make a penny) or famous or be some sort of internet revelation.
Part of MY positivity is being totally HONEST about my life so I can adequately take steps (and since it's public, be held accountable to do so) to make it better.
If I'm hiding the real ugly and its not really ever addressed, it's the same as being in denial. Out of sight (site) out of mind.
while there is a place for positive, inspirational blogs, I believe there is also a place for very honest and real blogs. While perceptions vary, super awesome nicey-pretty blogs may make some of us want to strive to be better, but they also may make some of us feel like utter failures and losers.
Either way, I'm starting over and I'm being real about it.
I guess I'm saying "let's get through this together."
xo
TB
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Permalink Reply by Owen on -
I don't think a lot of people are intentional liars. I think they're just idiots and actually do believe there is something magical about them that will make everything good in the end.
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Permalink Reply by TallBrunette on
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Good point. It think that's called Naivit'e.
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Permalink Reply by sexless.c on -
I feel like my pet-peeve is someone who puts down other people's forms of self expression. While you may not agree or have it all figured out for yourself, someone else might. And isn't that what your 20s are all about anyways? Figuring life out. Also, these so called "ugly people" may be expressing how they feel through their online blogging but at least they aren't deeming others attractive or unattractive on their blogs. Who is to say what is attractive and what isn't, anyways? Is this something YOU have figured out? Do you have everything else figured out also and are using your blog to inform the rest of us? I feel like this post in a way is making you everything you say you don't like about others. A personal blog is the one place someone should have complete freedom and safety.
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Permalink Reply by TallBrunette on
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You are right. And that's what I'm doing. It's a personal blog, it is a personal opinion, and it is definitely a niche (honest, forthright, and real) that some won't agree with or understand.
But in referencing 'ugly,' I was referring to circumstance, not people.
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