The Bloggers With The Most To Say
To Procreate or Not to Procreate - The Great Child Debate!
I've been thinking a lot about having children lately ... not, let me restate that ... I've been thinking about the decision to have children lately. There are so many reason NOT to have kids: financial, personal (like family vs. career), time issues, environmental (including overpopulation), biological (ie - passing down inheritable traits), but regardless of all these reasons, sometimes I just really want to have kids!! I'm curious what other people's thoughts on the issue are: are you parent? Why? What brought you to the decision to have children? Have you decided to be childless? Why?
Of course, I have written a blog about this, which you can find here. Yes, yes - the post's title is the same - honestly, I was ridiculously pleased with myself regarding this title ... probably because it rhymes!
Okay fellow bloggers, debate on!
Of course, I have written a blog about this, which you can find here. Yes, yes - the post's title is the same - honestly, I was ridiculously pleased with myself regarding this title ... probably because it rhymes!
Okay fellow bloggers, debate on!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Linda on -
I plan on never having kids of my own. I'm going to guess I'm in the minority here. But I really don't ever see myself being a mother and especially don't see myself squeezing out living beings from my vagina.
I don't mind when others have kids and am happy to babysit, I just don't see it in the cards.
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Permalink Reply by L.L. on -
I do not want kids. I will not date anyone who wants kids. I do not like babies, I have a crippling fear of pregnancy, and am way too selfish of a human being to ever consider the notion.
That said though, if you're gut tells you you want them - have them. It's not your job to worry about overpopulation (and in all honesty, if that's a reason NOT to have kids, you're reaching pretty far). My friends who just had their first daughter also had a good point about the financial aspect, they said if they'd waited til they could "afford" it, they never would have had her, and that when she came along, they just made it work.
If you really want kids, you wont have time, financial or environmental issues, you will have kids.
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Permalink Reply by Emily W. on -
It's not that I particularly DO want them, actually most of the time I don't ... occasionally I feel the need, but it's rare; of course when it does happen, it's really strong! Biological imperative I assume. It's certainly not that I'm basing my decision on ONE issue either, but it's all the things combined. Like I said, there are a lot of reasons NOT to have kids, which isn't what I'm really interested in talking about - more I want to know why people decide TO have kids ... most of the people I know don't think about it, they just have them, and with such a crazy, huge commitment and responsibility you'd imagine it would be a decision people really think about before going ahead with it.
So, Natalia (not to pick on you or try to sway your opinion or judge you or ... you get the picture), as the only one who has posted so far who wants kids in the future - why? Is it something that you've thought about and considered, or is it simply something you've always presumed would happen? I wonder because I'm very much the opposite - I always presumed I wouldn't have kids, so the occasional longing for them has taken me completely off guard.
As far as the aging population goes, I think it's a bit of a misnomer in this particular discussion; yes, the baby-boomers are getting older and in that sense our population is aging, which is mostly an issue with insurance and health care, but the US replacement population is still growing quickly (meaning babies being born, not just immigrants moving in) - one of the few nations in the "developed" world to be so in fact. As I understand it, most of Europe is holding steady with a strict replacement (1 baby to 1 adult) population, or even experiencing negative growth. In a society where children simply aren't NEEDED like they used to be, and still are in some societies, why are we still experiencing such a huge growth in population? Why do most people choose to have their own children rather than adopt? Is having a baby cultural? Biological? Religious? Of course it's all these things, but I'm just really curious what individual people are basing their decisions on.
Linda and L.L. I'm actually fairly terrified of actually being pregnant and birthing as well! I love being an auntie, but have a hard time imagining being a mom.
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Permalink Reply by L.L. on
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I'm an aunty and in all brutal honesty, I just don't seem to be able to identify with the little guy. He's cute, but he doesn't talk, he's too big to hold (which doesn't do much for me anyway), and I just don't know how to interact with him. I don't think I was born with the patience to deal with kids.
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Permalink Reply by Punky Jo on -
Babies are kind of like superhero's. They get adults jumping out of their seats trying to please them by making a slight sound or movement! That's the fascinating part haha!
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Permalink Reply by Emily W. on
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Ahaha! That's so funny! I like kids/babies/small things, but they are also exhausting and I like to give them back ... I do agree though, when they get older they are more fun - you can actually play with them. I really enjoy my nephews and niece because they are old enough to play with now - legos, trucks, tag, soccer - it's actually pretty fun to act all stupid and do the things that "mature" adults can't do on their own without getting strange looks! :o)
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Permalink Reply by Amy on -
I want kids, but not yet. I am only 20 years old. Hello? I want to have a life of my own before I take care of another.I will definitely be a mommy someday. It can be fun, but it will be a challenge. It's a challenge that I want. I just feel that is something I should do. I worked as a nanny for a little while and I loved it. It was so frikin hard and frustrating, and I wasn't even the mother! But I want to have kids someday...a really long time from now. I might as well make mentruation worth it by using what I got to create a human being. I want to take advantage of the fact my body can do that. I think it's amazing. Sorry but I'm just keeping it real. Ha.
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Permalink Reply by Phyllis on -
I can't wait until I have children...I don't want them for a few years, because I know I'm not ready (in more than one aspect...) but I've always wanted to be a mom. I'm a teacher though, so I've always had a pretty easy time identifying with children.
Although, the closest I've come to not wanting children is when I had a class of 30 unruly preschool children. At which point I seriously considered a hysterectomy. Because I didn't want to take any chances.
A new school, and 20 less children later, I no longer felt that way.
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Permalink Reply by Claire Louise on -
ok, I am 23, and I have two little boys.
(just to address any questions, which I get allll the time, I know, I know, I was young. Secondly, I was engaged when I got pregnant. No, I wasnt 'one of those teenage mothers').
Anyway, I always thought that I would have at least four kids. I always wanted kids, and I knew it was going to be in the plan. Why? well, because I loved kids, I didnt get bothered by those crazy things kids do that other people got annoyed with, etc. It was just who I was - I knew that one day I would be a mum. I didnt plan to do it as early as I did - to be honest, I had 30 in mind, but either way really. I weighed everything up when my oldest was born, and I will still be young when my boys are old enough to look after themselves, so I dont feel like Im really 'missing out'. I studied when they were little, and I work now, so I didnt give up a career. I still have a social life outside of being a mum, so that works well. I guess, for me personally, it just all worked out.
As for my plan to have four? Two is more than enough. If anyone asked me to have more, the answer would be a very loud no. I just feel like things work so well with two of them, to have any more would throw off that balance, if that makes sense.
That said, I can completely understand someone not wanting to have any kids at all. I admit, even though you arent meant to (apparantly), that I get very jealous of the lives my childless friends have. I can totally see how someone could make that decision very easily.
For me, kids were in the plan, and it has worked out well. Thats not the case for everyone though.
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Permalink Reply by Claire Louise on
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Just read your post, and thought id add a more accurate why.
Its a hard thing to explain the exact reason you decide to have children. Youre right, there are lots of reasons not to have them, and they are all tangible reasons. The reasons to actually do it are a lot less tangible. I always wanted a family. I wanted someone to care for and love. I wanted to pass on all the things that I have passed on to my kids. I loved kids and wanted my own. Thats the only way I can explain it.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on -
After watching my best friend get preggers I have decided not to have kids for a while. She's not able to go out anymore and to her it may be fun, but I need more at this point in my life. I used to want a baby but now I know that I really just want to wait. My life will be over and if I think I have financial problems now, just wait until the baby comes. I want to be able to live my own life first before I give someone else one. I can't even afford to pay attention, let alone for a child.
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Permalink Reply by leilani on -
I love kids so much it's insane, but after recently completing an OB rotation I have to say that there is no way IN HELL I will be messing up my stuff like that!
And people think I'm joking or roll their eyes when I say that, and I do realise that pregnancy and birth are some of the most natural things ever... but the things they entail are really upsetting
I do definitely want children though... I'm kind of into my genes so I'll probably try to have someone else deal with the whole situation i.e. surrogacy - and adoption is awesome in my book, too...
either way I feel like I have about 10 years to figure it out, so it's all good - but I do agree with the I really want ot have kids thing... being around babies all the time really made my ovaries take over at times...!!
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