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What do you do when a job is ruining your life?

I've worked as a waitress for 6 years now, not in the same place for 6 years but its something i love doing. I love working with people, the fast paced environment and the money is awesome too.

 

I however can't stay in a job that depresses me. I've been working at Friendlys for almost four years now and ive stayed there so long because i love it. I had to leave working there full time due to some complications. I still pick up shifts every now and then but unfortunately going back full time isn't an option.

 

I started a new job working at a Mexican Restaurant in the same town, the job physically drains me. Not because of the actual job itself but because of the management. Its a family owned business and the manager there plays favorites like you would believe and im not one to put up with bull shit. I need money, but i seriously would rather be living in my car broke then living a miserable life. Sometimes i come home on the verge of tears or mostly wanting to just punch someone in the face. I never look forward to going to work anymore and when im there i want nothing more than to leave. To top it all off, ever since i started this job my boyfriend and I have started having problems and we've never had issues before.

 

Should i just suck it up and stick with it? Or should i tell them to shove the job up there asses? Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this one? And what did you do about it?

Tags: Jobs, Management, money, stuck, sucky, waitressing

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Permalink Reply by Gina on October 15, 2011 at 4:19pm

You keep that job as long as possible while looking for a better one.

 

I've been there. My husband has been there. Believe me: do not give up that job unless you have to (this is coming from someone who spent eight months with two kids and zero income after leaving the hellish job behind). But you cannot live and work in an environment that emotionally damaging. Find something else, do it as quickly as you can, and move on.

 

It might be prudent to find ways to channel your emotions and anger while you are having to deal with this, though. This definitely will not be last time in your life that you have to deal with petty, mean people, and having a healthy way of handling your stress is a good skill to have. Start meditating, practicing yoga, journal writing or find a therapist to help you better manage your stress and emotions. 

Permalink Reply by Smile Soup on October 15, 2011 at 5:56pm

Gina is wise.  Listen to her.

Also, it might be worth looking at different jobs seeing as you want out pretty quickly - have you thought about retail or sales?  

I've been there too and threw in a job while I was studying (again - horrible management - they practically accused me of stealing!!!)  I didn't find something else until after I graduated over a year down the track.  Luckily my boyfriend (now husband) had a pretty good job at the time.

Good luck and spend some time getting your CV up to scratch pronto!

 

Permalink Reply by Kayleigh Eneida on October 16, 2011 at 2:30pm

I've tried retaill/sales before and its just not my thing. I like dealing with people, but clothing stores, malls, shopping and all that gives me anxiety. Whenever i go to the mall its always in and out, i can never stay and browse because i will freak out.

My boyfriend has a good job too and he keeps saying that if i really want to leave my job, he can afford all of our bills. However, if i don't pull some weight around here too i feel useless. I don't like that feeling either, i think i decided I'm going to go talk to the owner of the restaurant. I was talking to one of my coworkers last night and he suggested that.

Permalink Reply by Gina on October 16, 2011 at 3:42pm
There are a lot of sales and retail-type jobs that aren't anywhere near a mall.
Permalink Reply by Lil Miss Red T-Shirt on January 30, 2012 at 1:03am

Perfectly said.

Keep job, while looking for another. Realize that all jobs have their downsides, that the economy is crap, that you might be stuck with this. People play favorites all the time... there are far worse things in the world. Find ways to deal with emotions and frustrations. Good luck to you.

Permalink Reply by Clayton Eli Rogers on October 16, 2011 at 11:21pm

If a job is truly 'ruining your life', then in my opinion, quit.  I told my wife the same thing when she absolutely HATED her job a few years ago.  And I don't just mean 'Oh, I hate my job so much.', but it's just an exaggeration.  She REALLY hated going, it was putting a wedge in between us at times, and hated all but maybe one or two people there.

 

I begged her to quit, even though our financial situation would be hit hard, and eventually she did.  We were happier, even though we didn't have as much money, and she found another job REAL quick (She's good like that).

 

So yeah, if it's truly as bad as you make it out to be, why be unhappy with it?  Money is important, but as I told my wife, sometimes happiness is MORE important.

Permalink Reply by Clayton Eli Rogers on October 16, 2011 at 11:24pm
Oh, and I'm fairly certain that the restaurant you work at isn't the ONLY restaurant in your city.  If you have 6 years of experience, you should be golden.  And even more so if you're attractive.  Because let's face it, if a girl is attractive, and works in the restaurant industry, it's fairly easy to get a job.
Permalink Reply by Kayleigh Eneida on October 18, 2011 at 10:24pm
Its funny that you say that because there are no ugly girls that work at our restaurant. Some other waitresses and I were actually having a conversation about that one night when it was dead.
Permalink Reply by Jason Simone on October 16, 2011 at 11:34pm

You sound experienced enough that you could shove their heads into the deep frier and still find a job at a great restaurant pretty quickly.  I suppose, though, it also depends on where you live.  If there are only five places to eat in your town then you might be hard pressed.  But if you're in a larger city the I recommend killing all of them in their sleep and moving on.

 

I worked at Whole Foods Market for a year and HATED it.  The company portrays itself one way but doesn't always walk the walk in terms of certified organics, local suppliers, and environmentalism.  I gave them my notice out of the blue and moved to NYC two weeks later.  Don't do that unless you're as bonkers as I am.

Permalink Reply by Kayleigh Eneida on October 18, 2011 at 10:24pm
Shoving there heads into a deep frier actually sounds like a perfect idea! There are plenty of restaurants where i live but the problem is, there are alot of waitresses in the area i live as well, with just as much, if not more experience than myself. When i left my other job it was fairly easy for me to find a replacement quickly but i dont know if it was just luck or the time of year.
Permalink Reply by Kelli Shea on October 17, 2011 at 4:12pm
I ruin it's life back.
Permalink Reply by Kayleigh Eneida on October 18, 2011 at 10:21pm
i have actually been looking up legal ways to do that, since i know for a fact they dont follow all the rules of the restaurant business. But i want proof on paper to back up my arguments.

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