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What do you think about "the other woman"?
My group of friends is pretty evenly split between girls who've been "the other woman", and girls who would never consider such a thing. Some think that a girl who knowingly dates (or sleeps with) a man in a relationship is as morally culpable as he is; others' opinions are that it's the responsibility of the coupled person to resist the urge to cheat, or deal with the fallout alone.
I'm in the latter group, and in my most recent blog post, I wrote about being the other woman to a guy who had a live-in girlfriend, and what it's like to still be in touch with him five years later. But writing it got me wondering what the general consensus is on the people who enable adulterers. What do you guys think? Is the other woman guilty? Does it make a difference whether the person she cheats with is married, or cohabitating, or just dating someone else? What about the other MAN?
I'm in the latter group, and in my most recent blog post, I wrote about being the other woman to a guy who had a live-in girlfriend, and what it's like to still be in touch with him five years later. But writing it got me wondering what the general consensus is on the people who enable adulterers. What do you guys think? Is the other woman guilty? Does it make a difference whether the person she cheats with is married, or cohabitating, or just dating someone else? What about the other MAN?
Tags: adultery, cheating, dating, marriage, relationships
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by terryn on -
I've been the "other woman" and at the time I didn't care. Would I do it again? Nope.
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Permalink Reply by Carolina Escobedo on -
This subject definitely peaked my interest...
Honestly, I am most positive that I couldn't be the other woman - ever. I don't like the idea of being part of the breakdown of something, a relationship; I just couldn't live with that on my conscience. It's a very deliberate action and knowing that at least ONE person is going to be hurt from it?...not for me. This isn't to say that I think the "other woman" (or man, for that matter) is the devil either. Cliche it may be, but it takes two to tango folks - there is equal blame in the cheating game (if the other knows there is a relationship being trampled on).
But also, as selfish as this sounds, I just wouldn't want to share the person I cared about with someone else...to know that they're going home and sleeping next to someone else, more than likely having sex with that person, too. Too much for me, too much.
I definitely don't think there should be any less a moral code for the "other man" - cheaters and the other person, man or woman, deserve the same amount of blame.
This makes me think about situations where a woman catches her boyfriend cheating on her and instead of being pissed at the boyfriend (who knows he's in a relationship!) she goes after the woman like she's the only perpetrator in the situation. That really bothers me. Deeply.
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Permalink Reply by Bria Marie on -
I have been "the other woman" numerous times, the man's status usually unknown to me. But there have been a couple of times when I have been guilty of involvement in some way with a taken man. Never have I dated one or hooked up with them, and only twice kissed them, but usually it is more of an emotional affair-conversing back and forth by email and such usually. And I know that isn't much better than doing something physical, but I know I could never get physical with a taken man. That being said, I do still think that I am guilty in all cases (other than when the man's status is unknown to me). I am an adult and I know right from wrong. Sure, I think more blame is on the man because he is the one cheating, but I am enabling him, and that doesn't make it much better.
But I also know many people who would say "well, if he doesnt sleep with you, he will sleep with somebody else. so why not let it be you getting something out of it?"...
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