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What do you think of using the word "partner" instead of boyfriend or girlfriend?
I've heard the argument made for normalizing the term that everybody can use, regardless of orientation. What do you think?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Aly @ Breathe Gently on -
I always used to say partner. We were dating almost seven years... and at 25, it felt awkward still calling him "my boyfriend".
Now I use fiance.. so problem solved. :)
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Permalink Reply by Dashing Gray on -
The people who have commented that "partner" is typically used in academia are totally correct. As a student affairs professional, I can tell you that the term is being used by various individuals as a way of including the LGBT community, as other people have said. I admit that when I first heard it from one of my professors (who, incidentally, also has a male roommate during the week; it's complicated), I assumed he was gay. However, I realized over time that that was not the case and began to understand why
Now, I live with my "boyfriend" and am still trying to figure out my feelings on a lot of complicated topics (such as marriage). At this point, however, we are not married or engaged, and as an adult in a new position, I feel kind-of silly referring to him as my boyfriend. Partner is actually much nicer because then I don't get the questions about what our relationship status is (and therefore I also don't get the occasional disapproving looks from people who don't like the idea of unmarried couples living together.
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Permalink Reply by tee. on -
Partner is a little too clinical for me. Boyfriend/girlfriend has an endearing tone while significant other clearly says that this person is significant in your life. Partner symbolizes that that person is in a relationship with you but doesn't hint as to what kind. Or that the relationship is one that you actually want to be in.
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Permalink Reply by Evie Stewart on -
"Partner" "Significant Other" seems so serious to me. How about: My "Sig"?
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Permalink Reply by Chloé FH McIntosh on -
i am liking sig. we should start a movement to get this into common parlance. just like how i call my parents "the parentals" which is short for "parental units." (but ironically, is longer than "parents").
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Permalink Reply by Evie Stewart on
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Whatever we end up calling it, I could sure use one right now. Ahahaha!
xo @EvieStewart
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Permalink Reply by Kyla Roma on -
I like it a lot- I think that especially as you get a little older & have been in a relationship for a while, calling the person you're with your girlfriend or boyfriend just sounds a little new & young. Most of my friends in their 30's have changed it up to partner, but I think it's best to just go with whatever feels right :)
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Permalink Reply by Chloé FH McIntosh on
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im surprised this question is in the debate section... i usually introduce my boyfriend to people as my partner when they meet him, but i must admit i call him my boyfriend in conversation, i guess to eliminate any sexual orientation ambiguity. i think part of the reason i introduce him as my partner is because hes 48 years old and it just sounds stupid to introduce someone that old as my boyfriend.
as for the more general point of the question, i am totally in favour of calling your partner "partner," because thats how it should be. partners.
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Permalink Reply by Nicole on -
I have like a lot of what people are saying on here, and definitely will not pretend to articulate my thoughts as eloquently as others have, but here it is:
I generally prefer to use the term partner for a few reasons: (1) it is inclusive of heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual and other relationships; (2) it imparts a sense of equality within the relationship; (3) and this is closely related to #2, for me, "boyfriend' always carries a masculinist connotation and, given that we live in a society which privileges men over women, I generally do not like it.
However, I have heard arguments from LGBT friends of mine (and reading up on the good ol' feminist blog list I love) that using the word "boyfriend" for gay male relationships and "girlfriend" for lesbian relationships, does force non-LGBT people to recognize the sex/gender make-up of same-sex relationships--meaning that "partner" can de-gender LGBT couples who are struggling to have their relationships recognized.
In either of the above cases, it seems that it is up to the inclinations of the individuals.
That having been said: my "partner" hates the term. He feels that it implies a business-type relationship or some form of non-intimate relations. I don't agree, but refer to him as my "boyfriend" when he is around. Part of my comprimise. When he is not around--it's partner.
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Permalink Reply by Sam on -
I don't mind the term, but I wouldn't use it. When I hear others say partner, I automatically assume they are homosexual. For some reason it's my first thought.
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Permalink Reply by Janie on -
I've noticed partner, referring to hetero significant others, is being used more prominently. I'll admit whenever I hear it I usually first think, "oh, are they gay?" because I guess "partner" is stereotypically used to refer to a same-sex significant other. I'm not sure why, really - clearly they're okay about acknowledging their same sex relationship, so why not say "girlfriend" or whatever? Possibly because they might not be allowed to wed and girlfriend seems an inadequate term. (Just musing out loud...or out-type, here.) I agree everyone should call their partner whatever they like, though that being said if you refer to your partner as something other than the norm, it is going to confuse some people and you should accept that if that's the choice you make. As a (mostly!) heterosexual young adult, I'm still quite okay with boyfriend/girlfriend. It would seem too bizarre and stiff if a guy called me his partner, at least at this point in our young informal lives.
To each their own! :)
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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey on -
I hate the term boyfriend because it sounds so juvenile. We're not boys and girls anymore. We're adults.
I hate the term domestic partner because it sounds like a servant.
I hate the term significant other because it sounds so scientific and impersonal.
I hate the term lover because its too forensic. I don't need to picture the two of you have sex.
There really isn't a term that I like, but I stick with partner because I feel it's the least offensive to my sensibilties.
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