What makes you fight for someone you love?

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Permalink Reply by Ben on February 11, 2009 at 4:48pm

Hey, thanks for the response, there's actually a typo up there, should have said isn't romantic, just a close friend, but I backed off for a month, suppose that's hardly long, but she said we'd talk, then she dissapeared, didn't say no, just kept putting it off, but then today, and i'm guessing from her last blog post, she's just in a bad mood, told me to "f*ck off", I said can I even say goodbye and have this amicably, to which she said "no, I don't care enough to do that" was heart breaking, I can't believe what she was actually capable off, I thought I knew her

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Permalink Reply by imerika on February 10, 2009 at 4:28pm

I always believe love is worth fighting for.
I did the long distance thing (like Boston-LA and at one point Italy-LA) for three out of four and a half years and it was PAINFUL. But what kept us both going is that we knew we were going to get married eventually, we wanted to be together, we loved each other so much that the sacrifices were worth it. That being said, we're not together anymore. But I don't regret the relationship at all.
Are you currently in college? Because I think the fact that we were both in college and knew where we were going to be is definitely a plus. However, you have no idea as to when you're going to be back together, within driving distance. I think that's your main problem that you're fighting against. You need to have a deadline. Something to look forward to, a time that you know you'll be able to give your relationship a chance to thrive.
My friend just ended a four year long distance relationship as well because they're both out of college and doing their own thing and there is just no time in the near future where they'll be together.
You either have to suck it up and believe that it's worth it because you know you'll be together in the future or you have to ask yourself is he really the one and do you see yourself together forever?

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Permalink Reply by Ryann Warlick on February 10, 2009 at 5:59pm

I do see him as being the one. We have the same goals in life, and we get along great when we are together. But when we are hours apart (and I mean for periods of time, not just for a weekend or something) all we do is fight. We have known each other for over a year now, but have only actually been together for half of that time.
I have technically graduated (still enrolled for health insurance reasons), but he is still in school until May. After that he hasn't decided what to do. He's applying to a few graduate schools (including one in my city) and he also has a job offer in a city about 2 hours from me. A few months ago he was really for working on getting into the school near me, or me moving to Charlotte this summer, but then we had another fight. I just do not know what to do at this point.

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Permalink Reply by Emmie on February 13, 2009 at 8:32am

To me it would depend on how interested the other person appeared to be, I wouldnt want to persue someone who didnt want persuing. The effort is down to both, one cant expect to be chased all the time. x

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Permalink Reply by Mindy on February 13, 2009 at 12:40pm

I always think that if people want something badly enough, if they want a relationship to work, they'll do whatever they can to keep it together. You keep fighting because he is someone you want, no matter the circumstances.

I think it's when you don't want to fight to keep them that it's something not worth continuing...

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Permalink Reply by Kendall on February 13, 2009 at 1:16pm

The question is when to say when.

Because sometimes, as much as I hate it, love isn't enough. That there is too much in the way. I fought for six months to make a relationship work with the Ex despite the 500 miles between of us. In the end, we were just worn out. And that emotional exhaustion turned us into very temperamental people. Every conversation between us was miserable and it got to the point where it was like we were barely friends any more if at all.

So at what point are you holding on past the point of it being healthy?

I tried to keep fighting. I didn't like who it made me.

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Permalink Reply by imerika on February 13, 2009 at 1:36pm

I completely agree with this. Sometimes love isn't enough. Although I used to think it was...

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Permalink Reply by Kendall on February 13, 2009 at 3:24pm

I used to believe it was. Then I got burned one too many times.

And I read that earlier comment and realize just how bitter I sound. Ouch.

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Permalink Reply by Ryann Warlick on February 13, 2009 at 8:42pm

It really isn't, not for us. We are both too physical and need to be together. But when we are together, even for just a few hours, everything in the world is perfect.
I don't want us to be together if we have to be long distance, bc neither of us are happy. But I can't help but think about how great everything is when we are together. Neither of us has any ties where we are. I can only hope...

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Permalink Reply by Kendall on February 15, 2009 at 10:53am

Then the question becomes 'are those few hours worth it?'

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