The Bloggers With The Most To Say
What's the ideal age for marriage?
I know there are a ton of factors to consider before taking the big step. I'm sure that right now I'm not ready to be someone's wife, simply because I want to KNOW that I can be everything that my husband wants and am capable of raising a productive family.
But after being with my boyfriend for 3 years, it is constantly on my mind. So much that I break out in random marriage conversation for absolutely no reason. I went through this phase a few months ago where all I watched on tv was Platinum Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, wedding cake shows, Rich Bride Poor Bride... every show you could imagine. It made me happy to see other couples happy.
But why do people want to get married so young?
But after being with my boyfriend for 3 years, it is constantly on my mind. So much that I break out in random marriage conversation for absolutely no reason. I went through this phase a few months ago where all I watched on tv was Platinum Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, wedding cake shows, Rich Bride Poor Bride... every show you could imagine. It made me happy to see other couples happy.
But why do people want to get married so young?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Anthony Licari on -
When you're both in a place to be committed to each other for the long run.
For some that may be at 18, or 24, or 30, or when they both have degrees, or when they both have solid jobs, or after they've traveled the world... it's different for every two people. I might end up with a wife who I get married to while one of us is still in school or the other way around. Or maybe we don't live in the same city and are going to wait until we're living in the same place. It's not something I can know until I'm with that person and we've talked about the long term and what we want out of life together. You can set arbitrary goals before hand such as "this age, and with these requirements" but it's probably not going to work out how you plan it so there is no ideal age, it's when after you've talked to him and know what you both want together that you can determine when the right time is.
You're in your 20's, it's not surprising that your hormones are racing and desire to reproduce.
Why do people get married so young? Fertility and societal pressure.
-
Permalink Reply by Gab Life on -
My words exactly. I couldn't agree with you more, I just figured that some people out in the blogosphere have "the age" that they want to get married, and most are at or before 25. Just curious as to why :-)
Thanks for your comment, not too many guys comment on marriage lol
-
Permalink Reply by Peppers on -
There must be something wrong with me. I'm in my 20s and am terrified of marriage and I have NO desire to reproduce. I basically am married but unhappily, and I basically AM a child myself, or I feel like one. I'm hoping, though, that one day that will change.
-
Permalink Reply by Jacque on -
Well for me 30 is the minimum..I really want to be young! I'm selfish..I want to enjoy life before I give my life to someone else, or start creating life. My parents always make faces and suggest 25 or 26 at the most but for me that's too young and I won't even have myself together, why add the burdens of another person?
-
Permalink Reply by Gab Life on
-
And I feel like 30 is too late for me. It's a little more realistic when I see my girlfriends in healthy long term relationships and are close to 30. I just don't think I want to be 30 having babies. I want my kids to be half way to 10 by then lol
-
Permalink Reply by A.L. Harris on -
I feel this way as well. I want to see the world and be everything that I can before I settle down. Because I feel like once you're married, your worlds are interdependent and you really have to get rid of all of the extra so that you can actually make the marriage work. Also, I really want us to be stable before we are married i.e. jobs (I'd like a nice honeymoon/wedding) and college degrees. Ideally I would wait until 30 but I wouldn't mind getting married at 27/28 just as long as I'd felt that I had accomplished everything that I wanted to do.
-
Permalink Reply by Lucy Miller Robinson on -
Out of curiosity, how old are you? I do not think there is such thing as an ideal age. I got married when I was 24 after only dating my husband for 8 months. He was 34 and divorced, with one child from his previous marriage. I was pregnant when we got married. And we got married on the most perfect day. It depends on your unique situation.
Do you want to get married because you want that commitment from your boyfriend? Or because you want a wedding and a white dress? What does your boyfriend say?
It's very normal for women in their twenties to crave marriage. You are most definitely not alone :)
-
Permalink Reply by Sweeney on -
I find it so unsettling to see how many of my friends and acquaintances are already getting engaged/married (I'm 22, just graduated) in large part because I feel like it's essential for both individuals to have a solid sense of who they are as people before they can make any real assessment of who they are as a couple...
That being said, though, this is my own weird bias, and I know that plenty of people are already secure enough in who they are to get married at very young ages. I think that the "ideal" age is really a matter of who you are as a person. For me, I know I'm not there yet and I don't know when I will be, but that's just me. Everybody is different.
-
Permalink Reply by Kelli on -
At least 25, preferrably over 30. I agree with those who say it's totally relative. But as a general rule, just wait until 25 or 30.
(This coming from someone who got married as a "very mature 22-year-old".)
-
Permalink Reply by Sweeney on
-
25 is my mental magic minimum. In my head I have decided that I won't even consider becoming engaged before I turn 25... which is really so arbitrary when you think of it... I find it hard to believe I'll miraculously be so much more together in 3 years than I am now.
-
Permalink Reply by Shelly on -
I am on the "no perfect age" bandwagon. I got married at 24, and it felt right. My husband is my best friend and I knew I was ready to marry him when he asked. It just seemed so natural to say yes. Now, I still might be in the newlywed phase and this is completely cheesetastic but I can't imagine my life any other way right now. (except being done with school bc that would be awesome)
-
Permalink Reply by Cassie on -
Before I was in my current relationship, I was almost 100% certain that 25 would be too young, but a little older to around 30 would be all right. But now that I'm with someone I can realistically still see myself with in 2, 3, 4 or more years, my thoughts on the matter have changed a bit. If my boyfriend and I are, in fact, still together 4 years from now, we'll have been together for 5 1/2 years. I'd like to think that, as long as we're still happy and functional, we'd be ready for that next step after that many years. But I'd only be 24 by then, and that's weird to think about.
Some people feel like they're done growing up mentally and intellectually by a certain age and just assume they'll always be that same person 10 or 20 years down the road. But the fact is, our experiences shape us in ways we can't even imagine until we turn around and look at our past selves and think, "Whoa. I was different then." And two people don't always grow in the same direction. I guess it's just a matter of truly being able to assess yourself, your partner, and your relationship as a whole in a realistic (and as objective as possible) fashion. That's not exactly an easy thing to do, but when you're talking marriage, you can't just think about all of the sweet, romantic qualities your partner has, but you have to consider who they are deep down, in addition to yourself.
I just look at my own parents' experiences of divorce and am determined to not end up going down that route. When I do walk the marriage plank, I want it to feel right in every bone of my body, not just my heart, as weird as that sounds. I want to be as certain as possible that, when my husband and I are both senile and decrepit, we'll still enjoy each other's company and have a true friendship despite whatever obstacles come our way. It's one thing to fantasize about where you'll live, how pretty your kids will be, and all the Thanksgiving dinners you'll make, but you've got to be willing to think about all the unromantic aspects of the relationship and really assess whether or not you can deal with those things, too. Cause marriage sure ain't romantic... from what I've heard, anyway.
Ugh, rant over.
Witty Title Here
© 2012 Created by Lisa.
