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When is it right to introduse the person your dating to your parents?
So I have been with my girl for a year and a few days ,she have never met my mom. She keeps asking to meet my parents but for some reason
it never works out. There was only one other girl to have ever met my parents
that I have dated, I find it that I tend to not introduce people to my parents
if I cant say for sure if ill be in it for the long haul.
Is this fair to her? I have met her family and spent time with them over and over again.
When is it right to introduse the person your dating to your parents?
What if you introduce the person your dating to your parents and they don’t reciprocate? How would you feel?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Artemis Clover on -
the problem with introducing your significant other to your parents is that once you guys break up, your parents will also feel the "breakup" and the sadness associated with it. at least that's what i've experienced because my parents knew and hung out with the guy and ended up caring for him on some level. so i understand not wanting to introduce them until you are sure about her.
i think if you don't have to go out of your way to introduce her to your parents, then it's fine for them to casually meet just so your parents know who is currently a part of your life. if you have to make a whole production in having them meet, you'll only want to do it if you know she's someone very special to you and could be a part of your life for a long time.
however, if she wants to meet your family, i don't think it's fair that you haven't introduced them. the fact that you hang out with her family all the time shows that family is important to her and she is right in wanting to meet yours. i would be hurt if i wanted to meet my boyfriend's parents and he didn't give me the chance to. i would seriously re-examine why he is keeping me from getting to know the people closest to him.
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on -
Thanks for sharing:
See this is why it’s great to have other opinion. I feel that she is thinking about it a lot as she has mentioned it twice. See the last person I introduce when we broke up was not cool about the way she treated my family space so I really want to make sure this does not happen again.
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Permalink Reply by Artemis Clover on
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yeah, it's always a harder break if she's "in" with the family. well, only you know what she means to you.
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Permalink Reply by Arika on
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Yes this so true! There is nothing worse then to bond with the family and things don't work out with the couple. Ugh! I hate it...It's like you have to break up with the family even if you don't want to! Love can be so shady.. (sigh) But I do agree with Artemis that a casual meet-n-greet is appropriate and if things look prettty solid (which they do) then I think your family should have a chance to get more acquainted with your family :) Hope this helps and good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Gina on -
Also weird, my family got very, very attached to a boyfriend of mine. Long after we had broken up, they would bring him up in random conversations and ask how he was doing. Awkward...
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on
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This is a very scary thing, my mom will not stop asking what happen to that girl i met? even when you have long moved on and don't even remember that girl. So i would def consider her very emotional and she get attach very easily.
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Permalink Reply by Andrew G on -
Why ask the internet? Just do it when you feel like it. There is no single rule that is best. I just tell my parents that I'm dating someone... and if they ever get in my graces enough to make me want to take them across the country when I go, then I introduce them.
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Permalink Reply by JackoStain on
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I ask the internet because no one person has all the answers, None the less thanks for your input .
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Permalink Reply by cooper on -
My parents live far away and would not get attached to anyone I brought home, they have met a couple of men I've dated over the last 5 years but it is not really considered a big deal and no one expects me to be permanently attached to these people. There is considerable bohemia in my family though.
If your personal guidelines are that you don't want to introduce someone to you parents until you know you are in it for the long haul, and you are not sure about this girl in that respect, don't feel pressured into introducing her.
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Permalink Reply by Artemis Clover on
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you bring up a good point. my family is definitely more emotional than most.
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Permalink Reply by Gina on
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I think if it's a "girlfriend" then she deserves to meet your fam. ESPECIALLY if you are living together or contemplating marriage/kids/permanence.
If there's no title attached, though, I don't think it matters how long it's been going on. If it's just a casual or convenient or on again/off again thing, I don't think parental involvement is necessary.
I introduced my husband to my parents on a Monday night- he came over for family night- just as we were starting to get serious. He proposed the following Sunday and I met his mom the next Monday.
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Permalink Reply by filleosophy on -
Whenever you're comfortable with the idea or want your parents to meet this great guy/girl. I don't really think meeting the parents is a big deal in the slightest unless your relationship with your parents is strained or your parents are weird.
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