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Would you go on a date with someone you are not immediately physically attracted to?
Having just emerged from a six year relationship with a man I was instantly attracted to, I'm not really sure how I feel about this.
If you meet someone, and you find them interesting and funny and you wouldn't mind getting to know them better, but that immediate physical spark just isn't there, is it fair to agree to go on a date with them in the hope that attraction might develop over time?
What say you, 20-somethings?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Heather on -
absolutely! i find that the more attracted i am to their personality, the more physically attractive they become. however, if i can't look at them without cringing, well.. then maybe not.. haha.
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Permalink Reply by Jorah Day on -
yep. Admittedly wasn't that attracted to Simon immediately. And then I found out what kind of man he was, and he's the most beautiful man I've ever met.
the physical can change much easier than the heart.
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Permalink Reply by Freeman Dyson on -
Nope. There needs to be at least a baseline of attraction. She doesn't have to be a 10, or even close. But I have to find her at least a little physically appealing. I would pick a girl who is a 7 on the outside and a 9 or 10 on the inside over a 9 or 10 on the outside and 6 or 7 on the inside any day. A girl's inside can make her immensely more attractive, but come on, there are girls out there who I would not date even if you put Tolstoy or Jung's brain in their bodies. A girl can become more physically attractive because of her mind, but there has to be something already there. You can't turn nothing into something. You can turn something very small into something larger though. Physical attraction is a very visceral thing that is hard to consciously manipulate or change through experience. I can go from thinking a girl is decent looking to absolutely beautiful, but again, there has to be a baseline. I can't like a very unattractive woman or a gay guy just because they are very smart and interesting.
I don't even have to think she is particularly cute/hot. I am willing to give a lot of leeway, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. They have to be at least "serviceable".
I've thought about this question before: is it possible to love somebody you are not at least a little bit physically attracted to? I don't think it is. Physical attraction is a necessary part of that mix and it can't be removed
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Permalink Reply by Sarah on -
What if, on first meeting the attraction is just neutral? As in, you're not at all repulsed by them, but you also don't feel that little spark of physical attraction, even though they have other very attractive qualities?
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Permalink Reply by Lily on -
Personally, I never dated/considered dating anyone I didn't find physically attractive. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm just that shallow.
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Permalink Reply by Christina on -
Yeah, I always judge the damn book by the cover (I actually don't do this to books, just to men), and will only date someone if I find them attractive. In recent cases, all the people that I've found attractive have generally turned out to be scumbags, so I think I'm going about it all wrong.
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Permalink Reply by Lily on
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Yeah, that's one downfall... good looking often means douchebag like behavior.
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Permalink Reply by Kanriah on -
I think if it's just basically No Opinion then Yes. I would. Not attracted... no. Attracted, yes. Neutral means that personality will sway me one way or another.
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