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So, I'm admitting that my main problem with dating is my own self-confidence. As in, I don't have much. Or any. Consequently, approaching a girl I find attractive and starting a conversation rarely happens (as in, possibly once in a year). Several good girl friends have commented that I'm not dull or unattractive or anything like that, but still I can't bring myself to make that initial first move.
Anyone got any hints as to how I could get past this?
Anyone got any hints as to how I could get past this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by the.lifestyle.artist on -
Hey JK,
first off where are you based? and secondly maybe i can help? I train with a lot of dating coaches (mainly men who teach men how to approach women) I sometimes help out as an approach coach. Theres a whole subject of how to meet and attract women. can i ask what are your main sticking pts? is it actually getting the courage to approach or is it because you don't know what to say? Some things to remember:
- women want to be approached. thats why they get up, and get dressed and go out.
- when a guy tells me he thinks i'm hot i feel good. making a girl feel good about herself is the key... not getting a date
- see meeting women as just meeting new ppl and having fun rather than thinking its about a date
- break it down. approach with the intention of just saying hi... you look gorgeous the eject. build up to the next level when u feel like thats easy. approach and get her to give you your name then eject.... keep doing this until it becomes routine
- have an abundance mentality. one rejection is not to be taken personal. she can't get to know the real u in like 5 or ten minutes so don't sweat, just realise there are so many more women out there who do want to meet you. never dwell on bad experieneces just move on to the next. I get rejected too! and i'm a girl and i'm pretty hot too. it happens.
- See it as 'practice' so its a game. its not real. to imprve ur approaching and social technique or have fun not to get dates
hopefully these will help? if you're interested i can as one of the guys if he would conslt for you? they are awesome bunch of guys. just let me know ;)
oh and feel free to ping me if you wanna chat or expand on any of the above. lemme know ur progress!
xoxo L -
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Permalink Reply by JK on -
Hi L, thanks for replying.
I'm in Norwich, UK. I guess my main sticking point is getting the courage to approach. Generally I don't think I'm all that special, though I know that's not the case - not meaning to sound cocky or anything. Lol.
That breaking-it-down approach sounds good, I'll have to give it a try next time I'm out. -
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