The Bloggers With The Most To Say
Do you think it's possible to remain friends?
I thought I was, and I've managed it to some extent in the past, but I don't seem to find it possible this time, I'm still just too angry. Which is sad, as me and my ex were good friends BEFORE our relationship, and I don't want to lose it, but I can't feel the same about the friendship anymore. And because we are forced to be in regular contact anyway, it's hard when he doesn't make any effort with me . . . but harder when he DOES, cos I don't know how to react. Does anyone think it IS possible to stay friends with someone who broke your heart? Has anyone MANAGED it?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Randzo on -
hay girl...
you are tring to be friends with someone that you are still angry at. that is just not possible.
is it possible to remain frinds? depends on how you really feel about the person... not what you think or how you hope you feel about them but what is realy there.
i have an ex who is a friend and it took us some time to get to the friend level but we have although the people around us say that they can see some spark between us (maybe because we get along so well). oh well maybe there is from his side but not on mine thats why i dont even want to explore that possibility and i try to keep the distance fully casuall between us.
whats strange though is that even though we have been over for more than two years now i still have flash backs on all the grate times we had while dating - dont know if thats a side effect of us being friends or what...
ok back to u: possible? yes. but with condisions.
get over the anger.
be comfortable with weather you would take him back or not. having this clear will go a long way so that if he takes advantage and over steps the mark then you can put him back in his place (instead of going along with it only to have your heart broken again)
be sure if you even want the friendship. (refere to the comment i have placed in the groups main page)
remember that for someone to be a friend they need to give as much as they are getting. if this person shows no effort then why the hell waist time on him when you could spend it doing other things.
does all this make sence?
hope it helps... -
-
Permalink Reply by Laid Back Lion on -
i'm the forgiving type to an extent, but when my ex asked me "can we still be friends", i just can't seem to call her a friend after ditching me, chucking me out of the home we shared and as a result only seeing my son every weekend. So, in my view, no its hard to maintain a friendship with someone who is your ex.
-
-
Permalink Reply by PP on -
Yeah, you're probably right. The more time that passes, the angrier I get. At first I WANTED to be his friend despite what he did but the longer I spend away from him, and the more times he tries to make an effort with me (after three months of treating me like I didn't exist), the less I care about having his friendship anymore. Perhaps I'm starting to realise I'm not missing all that much.
-
-
Permalink Reply by Ethony on -
No I don't think you can. There is never going to be any equality. Someone is going to feel bad about it, they get a new partner, you feel like shit. You get re/married, they feel like shit. I have tried, never works.
I think if there are children involved then the child should be the main focus for both parents and they should be respectful of each other but friends No. -
-
Permalink Reply by Kelly Marie on -
I just wrote a post about this actually. For me, it's never worked. Maybe it will in the future, but not yet. read my post. http://nottheonlystargazer.blogspot.com/2010/05/oh-crystal-ball-tel...
-
-
Permalink Reply by Anonymously Confused on -
I've found that rarely is it possible to remain friends. I've also found that if you try, and do succeed, it becomes complicated when the next relationship (for either of you) rolls around. My philosophy is, don't force it. If it's meant to happen, it will pretty naturally.
-
-
Permalink Reply by Rhiannon Young on -
I know exactly what you're going through. The exact same thing happened with me and my ex. He was my best friend before we started dating, he cheated, I got angry and we broke up... Now, all I want is my friend back. It's hard to come to terms with, but I don't think I'll be getting my friend back any time soon. Not while the wounds are still so fresh.
I guess time will tell how things will work out. Everything happens for a reason, so maybe being friends isn't what fate has on the cards for either of us. Depressing, yes... But, life is like that. We'll get through, and I bet we'll be smiling at the end as well.
-
© 2012 Created by Lisa.
