LDRs

Permalink Reply by Shauna on January 18, 2008 at 8:35am

I was, but now we live together. Don't worry, each has their good and bad sides. For one, he was much more romantic LD. ;)

Permalink Reply by Clueless Cat on January 18, 2008 at 10:24pm

How long were you LD for? It's nice that you live together now though! :)

And yeah, there are definite perks to being apart, such as not taking each other for granted and that sort of thing...but I'd still rather be able to see him whenever I want!

Permalink Reply by Jenn on January 24, 2008 at 12:54am

I was in one for over six years before I bit the bullet and moved -- best decision I ever made, but I wouldn't trade our long distance years for anything. It wasn't all sunshine and buttercups, but overall it was a really positive experience that left us well prepared for our future together.

Permalink Reply by Clueless Cat on January 24, 2008 at 9:57am

Just curious, what about it did you find so positive and how did it prepare you for your future together? How long has it been since you moved? Was there anything negative about not being in an LDR anymore once you were together? (like little things that bug you, or something?) Were you together before it became long distance?

LoL sorry i have so many questions...I just wanna know! :)

Permalink Reply by Jenn on January 24, 2008 at 8:31pm

Hi Cat,

Don't apologize for the questions! :)

I found it positive for a lot of reasons, some having to do with us as individuals and some having to do with us a couple. Being in a LDR fit our lives at the time and made me become much more independent than I otherwise would have become (I think). Not just independent in the sense of doing things for myself or by myself, but independent in being confident within myself and knowing that I am okay on my own. I think that was really important for that time in my life (early 20s) and makes me better today.

It was positive for us as a couple because it made us much more secure in one another and our communication skills are top notch. It made us the kind of couple that values time together/don't take each other for granted, but also the kind of couple who doesn't need to ask permission of the other half to go out with friends or to pursue an individual hobby.

We were not together before we became long distance. We "met" online, working on a project together, and then met in person when he flew to my area a couple of years later (during the time in between, we were just friends, keeping in touch online and sometimes on the phone long after his involvement in the project was over). Once we met in person, we knew we were more than friends ... but it took us awhile to figure out how that was going to work, since LDRs were completely new to us.

I moved in August of 2005, so it's been over two years now. It has been the best time of my life, but I will say that I don't think things would have worked out as well as they have if I had moved sooner -- I moved when all the pieces fell into place. I hadn't felt ready up until that point. I had tried to convince him to move to my side of the country, but it didn't work out for him either, so the wait was hard but worth it.

The only negative for me has been missing my family/friends, but I am making new ones and wouldn't trade my new life for anything (I feel like I am in a new LDR with my friends/family back home, but I am a pro by now ;)). One of the good things about our situation is that since we had been together so long, I wasn't moving to a place where I didn't know anyone aside from him. I felt like I had some connections and knew the area, etc.

I think that's everything. Longest post ever -- sorry! If you have any other questions, just ask! It really helped me a lot when I was in that situation to talk to others in the same boat! Oh, and one thing that is good to know is that a study was done on LDRs and it found that the chances of success for the couple are exactly the same as with any in-person couple. Since the chances for any relationship are about 50/50, that can be encouraging or not ;) But I always told that to people who would ask me why I would be so crazy as to be in a LDR!

Permalink Reply by CARRIE on February 3, 2008 at 6:40pm

I'm in an LDR; I'm in Ottawa and my SO is in Toronto. He works there and I'm finishing school here. We've been doing distance since 2006.

Permalink Reply by AshleyD on February 3, 2008 at 11:03pm

I'm in a long distance relationship too. I live in NYC and he lives in Albany. We met back in 2002 when we both lived in Texas, but we've been LD pretty much the whole time...

Permalink Reply by Clueless Cat on February 12, 2008 at 1:18am

Wow, that's tough!! Have you thought about the future? ie Who'll be relocating when?

Permalink Reply by AshleyD on February 13, 2008 at 9:20pm

Yeah, we've been talking about it for a while. I'll be done with grad school next May, and we want to be in the same city asap. So, I'll probably end up moving to Albany... oh, the things we do for love...

Permalink Reply by Melissa on February 10, 2008 at 11:42pm

I was for about a year, but he ended up moving back summer '07. How is it working out for ya?

Permalink Reply by Clueless Cat on February 12, 2008 at 1:15am

It's ok, haven't seen the boy in a month and a half and won't for just over a month! (Am visiting over Easter). Can't wait to see him. Long distance really makes you appreciate the little things - all I want is to be able to do things like hold hands, get a hug whenever i want one, just be able to talk face to face and not via webcam...all that stuff.

Did you begin as LD?

Permalink Reply by Melissa on February 12, 2008 at 3:30pm

Oh, I know what you mean! If theres anything about LD, it's that you really begin to appreciate the small stuff. We actually met 3 months before he was going to be moving, but it was set in stone that he was leaving. His entire family was going- so there was no way he was gonna stay. He went, and went to school for a year, but came back and is now in an apartment and going to school with me. It was really tough though, especally because we only had 3 months of experience as a close together couple before he moved away, and had an entire year in a LDR! But, it's almost 2 years for us now so we seemed to have made it work.
Good luck with yours though :) It takes work, and a TON of patience (especially when you really feel like a hug) but it's so worth it.

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