Travelling husbands

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Permalink Reply by Brigid on February 5, 2009 at 1:51pm

I would love for my husband to get this job that he maybe up for (once the hiring freeze comes off the company) and he would be gone 5 days a week. I would actually be looking forward to the alone time to get things done, etc. that I need to. Isn't that sad?

Permalink Reply by Kelsey on March 5, 2009 at 5:42am

I just wanted to drop in and say hi to you ladies with traveling husbands. My husband is in the Air Force. We were just reunited at the end of January after he did his second tour in Iraq. We were apart for almost 5 months. On Monday he's leaving again for two and a half weeks. It is always so hard to say goodbye to someone that you love. We've been married 5 years, have survived two 5 month deployments and countless weeks apart for training and other military related trips. It hasn't gotten any easier. Anyway, I hope that it just helps you ladies to know that you're not alone.

Permalink Reply by Amanda Abbott on April 3, 2009 at 8:59am

I don't think you ever get used to him being gone, you get used to the fact that he has to be gone. My husband and I got married August '02 and 2 days after we were married he got orders to Korea. He left after just 9 months of marriage for a year. He is getting ready to leave again for 6 months. I'm not in love with the idea and I will sleep like crap I'm sure, but I know that we have no choice so I just have to deal with it.

Permalink Reply by Heather on June 2, 2009 at 12:42pm

You get used to it, but never completely. My husband travels a lot for work, and while having my own time while he is gone is nice, there is nothing as exciting as that day when he's coming home! It's always like a vacation, so we make sure to make the most of all the time he is here. I think it's a major reason our marriage works so well, because we never want to waste time complaining or nagging about anything lol.

Permalink Reply by Ashley on June 5, 2009 at 11:00am

I am in the same boat! My hubby is in the Air Force and has been gone for over a month now! I totally feel that way but as hard as it is I think it is a good thing b/c when you get married you become one and when he is gone it really is like a part of you is missing...if you didn't miss him there might be a problem. Now I'm not saying that we can't have our own lives, because that is necessary to survive this time and I think it will get easier, but i think it is good to feel that way. there is that saying "absence makes the heart grow founder". It is totally hard though!

Permalink Reply by Jennifer K on January 28, 2010 at 6:52am

My husband travels a ton for work, sometimes I can go with him, more often he is just gone. It sucks, but you do find a rhythm after a while; a new "normal" for you. That said, after two years of him traveling all the time, I have never gotten used to it and miss him terribly. I try to plan some dates with girlfriends, spend time with family, and work on lots of little house projects and other creative stuff. That usually helps to pass the time. HTH!

Jenny
www.wordsonwendhurst.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by 28 Years on February 2, 2010 at 11:43pm

My husband recently left for a 10-month business trip! He does get to come back once a month for a few days, but other than that, I'm flyin' solo. So far, it's not that I don't feel whole, it's that I feel crabby, overwhelmed and impatient, haha. (We have two crazy dogs and are in the middle of some reno projects ...) I'm about a month into it and I'm already kind of used to it, though. You get into a routine.

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth W - Falling From Prams on February 8, 2010 at 2:27pm

I live away from my husband during the week because I'm working and he's still in graduate school. It sucks and gets worse and worse every Monday morning. :-(

Permalink Reply by Eileen on February 8, 2010 at 11:07pm

hi all- I'm new here, it's nice to find all of you with traveling husbands! My husband travels every week from Mon-Thurs. It was really hard to get used when he first started traveling about a year ago (after 1.5 years of being married) but eventually I got used to being on my own on weeknights, and actually enjoy some of the time to myself. However, the project that he's been on for the last few months is all the way across the country, which means he doesn't get home til the middle of the night (ie, very early Fri morning), which means 4 nights on my own instead of just 3. Somehow this one day makes a big difference, and it seems harder now.

The best solution I've found is to make plans with friends during the evenings, but in the winter it seems so hard to convince people to go out after work! I actually started blogging as a hobby to fill some of my time.. also I've recently gotten addicted to watching episodes of The Office on Netflix. It works a bit, but I still miss him. And I definitely am sad every Monday morning... so Elizabeth, I know how that goes. I wish I could figure out a way to make Mondays easier!

Permalink Reply by Libby on February 9, 2010 at 8:13am

I can totally understand the 4 night vs. 3 night thing. My husband was gone 4 nights this week (he's usually gone 2-3 nights -- each week, too) and it has been terrible. I think it was worse because he left on Sunday this time. I've got a M-F 8-5 job, so it is really important to me that he is here on the weekend.

It's funny to hear people's responses when they find out your husband travels so much for work. I usually get the standard "I don't know how you do that. I couldn't deal with it." & my standard response is "You get used to it". Even though I don't think you ever get used to it, you just do it, but it's one of those things that is hard to explain.

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth W - Falling From Prams on February 9, 2010 at 11:53am

I agree with both of you. It's very hard and I've been doing it for months, and I still haven't gotten used to it. When we were engaged I moved to FL for 8 months on a Walt Disney World internship and that was a LOT easier than this. I got used to the phone calls and being apart. I get home late Friday night usually, start getting back into the swing of things, really enjoying the time together, and then have to spend Sunday afternoon packing, clenaing, and going to bed early to make the 90 minute commute to my job Monday morning. It sucks! And during the week, I bounce around friends and families houses so I never really feel at home. I don't get to unwind with a book or a movie because I normally end up helping with the friend's kids, the friend's husbands are tv hogs, and I can't really go out and come back because they don't want me traipsing through their houses at all hours of the night, which I understand though I think a 9 p.m. curfew on a school night isn't so bad.

It was so much easier to say good-bye once than every Monday and to not even be in my own place... But there weren't jobs where we lived and this was the only thing I could find. I'm not exaggerating: between January and August of last year I put out over 1800 applications, had 65 phone interviews, 28 face to face interviews, and 7 job offers. 6 of the offers I filled out paperwork for, w2s!, and they still fell through. It was awful. So now I'm working as a lowly teacher (haha jk) at an inner city school, bouncing around from place to place being homeless during the week because we can't afford the gas for me to drive back and forth every day. and 3 hours a day in the car is a bit no bueno.

But I got Christmas off for a little while, and the occasional 3 day weekend, and the snow days, but I am TOTALLY counting down till Spring Break! This summer he'll be done with his Master's and we are going to find a place where we can be together and not this apart business anymore because 1) it sucks, 2 )it's pretty expensive because we don't eat in as much, and 3) it's really stressful and the stress is not good for our health. Dang that made me sound old right there.

We should make an alone for the week support group. That's why I started my blog and came over to 20sb. To find more people to talk with, vent with, hang out with online so I could forget my stressful job and being apart.

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