Pressured to have kids?

Does anyone else feel pressured to have kids that don't already have any?

My husband and I have been married almost 3 years. Most of that time we have spent apart. First he was deployed to Iraq for a year, now he's been in another state attending A school for several months.

Both my sisters in law are pregnant and both of our families are very traditional. They think it is natural to get married and start having kids.

We are not that way. I don't want to rush into having kids and being tied down. We will start traveling as soon as his school is finished. I'm much younger than he is and I feel like my life hasn't really started yet. I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I know it doesn't involve kids just yet.

Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I spent 4 years working as a 2 year old teacher. I'd just like to have some fun and enjoy being married before I start the family thing.

Anyone else feel this way?

By the way, here's my blog if you'd like to check it out. http://lanimays.blogspot.com/

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Permalink Reply by Liz Street on January 15, 2011 at 11:32pm

I've been married five and a half years, and despite the fact that in that time my husband went through med school and I went through law school, we have been fielding the baby question since about a month into our marriage, from family, friends and acquaintences young and old. Of course, we had school to use as an excuse but since both of us have now graduated we have had to come up with new answers. Among the first we came up with were the popular (and true) waiting for financial stability, establishing our careers, waiting until we're actually settled where we want to end up and trying to pay down student loans.

Lately, however, we've just been admitting the truth: We're too selfish to have kids right now. We want to be able to go to concerts, take weekend trips and stay out late without having to worry about whether or not the kids can come or getting a sitter. You might get some looks when you say you're too selfish for kids, but on the bright side, it's pretty self-explanatory and rarely requires much more exposition on your part.

No one should feel bad about not wanting to have kids for a while or even not wanting them ever. It's so much more responsible (and honest) than having kids before you're ready. I like to think that if and when we eventually do have kids it will be because we're truly at a point in our lives when we'll be able to give them all the care, attention and love they deserve.

Pressured to have kids?

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