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Im a 21 (22 in June) year old working girl with a dilema.

how do you know that this is it? that you are ready to get married?
im not mariied yet but my guys is talking a whole lot about marrage these days and im freaking out cause a) i do think im a bit young.
(you all got married quite young. how did you know that you were ready for marrage which i think is a on a whole new hectic level from dating)
b) dont think im ready to be a wife
(all the added resposibilities that come with that)

please help in all ways that you can and lay it on thick and give it like it is, does the fact that imfreaking out about it prove that i'm not ready?

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Replies to This Discussion

If you don't think you're ready, then you're probably not!

I think its different for everyone. I'm not sure how I KNEW. I THINK you KNOW when you realize that this is it, and its going to take a ton of work, but its worth it to you and you want to be with this person no matter how hard it may be. You KNOW that they'll be there for you and you can vision yourself in 20 years still with this person AND with kids!
Totally agree!
well if you guys are living like a married couple, like sleeping and living together, marriage is making it official.
are you worried about the seriousness of marriage? that once your in it, it's for life?
Some people in this situation might choose not to marry because deep down they want to keep their options open.
was i too harsh, how do u feel about this?
harsh? no...
harsh? good at this point - i need to hear facts cause i suppose time has come and long gone where fairy tails used to be reality and the way i saw things. fact is Snow White and the Prince could have faught like crazy and who knows maybe Bueaty got fat and the Beast left....

we dont live together. we dont believe in sex and living together before marrage.

look i for one dont think a time will come where i will wake up one morning and say: "hello world. i am ready now"
thing is i cant imagin being with anyone else but him and its not that im sayn this cause im stuck in the thrill of the new love but after all i have been through for this man (brack up, hate, disapointment, the threat of another girl while we were broken up) i think the fact that i still feel this way is huge and wonder if that could be a subconscience notification that im ready to marry him and now the only thing left is to get the conscience me on he same page...

i suppose maybe the worry comes frm the wonder if i will be good enough to fill the wife role. i look at the older generations like my mom and i so feel that the way hey fill this role is perfact and a standerd a bit too high for me to fill...
is it a good thing to fill this way? the fear i mean.
i was exactly the same, we didnt live together or sleep together either till we got married, he knew he wanted to marry me and told pretty much as soon as we started going out. I was 20 when he proposed and was married at 21 three months ago, Eevry one was crapping on, your too young, bla blah, and part of me was worried about not being a good enough wife, YOU will never feel ready, because it's such a different experience, but you have each other, and if you want to be together forever, it will be an experience thats, scary, fun, amazing and life changing.

maybe you should tell him you worry about being a crap wife and tell him which parts your worried about and you can work through it together, I dont feel good enough for my husband sometimes but he reassures me that he loves me just the way I am and with God's help we can learn from our mistakes and treat eachother better and etc. So i guess its normal to feel you'll suck, we do that with every thing... dont we

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