Survey: What is your BIGGEST quarterlife challenge?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ashley Dungan on February 14, 2010 at 5:02pm

Hmmmm, I have got to get this out of the way immediately so no one gets offended! I am an extremely blunt and crude person! So hopefully I don't offend anybody! If I do... Well, life sucks, then you die! I'm DEFINITELY never a serious person, so this is probably the most serious I will EVER be!!!

1. Wondering how much I'm missing out on. I've been a mother since I was 19. (I know, my fault for being a slut right) Got married at 21, had another baby at 23...
2. Never went to college because I had babies and a husband to take care of.
3. So in the famous words of Reba McEntire (fuck you guys! you know she's awesome) Is there life out there, So much she hasn't done, Is there life out there, beyond her family and her home?

That's the only serious thing you'll ever hear come out of my mouth, so don't judge me!!! :)

Permalink Reply by Jessie May Kezele on February 15, 2010 at 2:22pm

Thanks Ashley, I really appreciate you sharing, even though you don't usually get serious. I think that sometimes it's beneficial to add some humor to these things that usually feel so heavy. If we can laugh at ourselves, life can be much more enjoyable I think! Thanks again!

Permalink Reply by Kristen on February 17, 2010 at 1:37am

I agree to all of your three! In addition I'd like to add

4. I never thought I would have such a terrible job so close to having a masters!

Permalink Reply by katrina kay on March 4, 2010 at 1:43am

finding a real job

Permalink Reply by Christina Chavez on March 9, 2010 at 12:00pm

1. career. I love the path I chose (Marriage and Family Therapist), but I too often feel like I am not taken seriously because of my age. I also have this other youthful side of me who wants to do something fun, creative, and involves music. (Hence me starting my blog www.thelucyinthesky.blogspot.com .

2. Money. Graduating in this shitty economy has done nothing for me. I have a Master's degree but I still work as a receptionist in a salon because I can't find a job. On top of this, there are no therapist jobs out there for me so I have started applying for entry level jobs. So right now my degree is doing nothing for me. People tell me to continue to my Ph.D, but why? To accumulate more debt? Oy.

3. Being on the cusp of "I am still young and I want to have fun and party!," and "I want to start settling down and get serious." Sometimes I feel like I am too old for one, but still too young for the other. Very confusing.

Permalink Reply by Shayna on March 10, 2010 at 7:48pm

1. Money - I make a decent living in the super exotic field of accounting ;-) but I'm a single homeowner with student loans, health insurance co-pays, a small dog, and single homeowner means single income... which is a little unnerving
2. Being judged professionally for being young and a woman... I worry that I'm seen as having an expiration date - i.e. will get pregnant and leave, so my company/other companies are less likely to invest in training/promoting me to higher positions
3. Finding Mr. Right... I used to think my lack of love life had to do with being at work or in grad school 24/7 (work all day, class all night, homework all weekend) and being fat... but now I'm done w/ grad school and not fat anymore...but Mr. Right hasn't shown up, and I'm not quite sure where to locate him... which leads to number 3.5: Having children and working and not getting mommy tracked... See my blog for more on these challenges...and others (I have more than the requested 3!)

Permalink Reply by Kris on March 10, 2010 at 10:12pm

1. Trying to fit too much in. Programs, jobs, travel, investments, school, dating. Unfortunently the range of decisions caters to a commitmentphobe such as myself who is happy to go from one thing to another. I want to try a little of everything, but choose nothing. By this point that can equal stall.
2. Panicking over direction. This one seems common. I've accomplished some big goals but am miles away from long term relationship or a serious career. Should I have pursued either of these more seriously? At 23 am I wasting this decade?
3. Relationships. And not just with boyfriends. Family (whom I spend too much time with these days), and friends in this small town. I hang in much the same group I did when I was 15, which doesn't leave a lot of room for things like, you know, personal growth...
I thought I invented the term quarter life crisis when I turned 20 and started going through it. I didn't expect it would get worse :). I always aimed to travel the world, now I'm at a place where I've accomplished that and I'm wondering what next.

Permalink Reply by Em Jae on March 22, 2010 at 11:11pm

Hi there, just joined the group! And, I have to say, it's sort of nice to hear that other people are dealing with the same bs... Not that I'd wish it on anyone -- but sometimes it's a very frustrating, isolating journey...

With that said...

1) Job market/availability of jobs. I feel ready to advance, to move up, to take on more responsibility and hopefully earn a greater paycheck. Unfortunately, I don't see this as an option at my company or in the available jobs in my area.

2) Struggling with the fact that I am in my mid-twenties, and I'm NO where close to where I thought I'd be in terms of accomplishments, lifestyle, etc. I feel like I've done nothing. There's still so much I want to do.

3) Dolla-dolla bills. I work two jobs that I'm incredibly passionate about, that also don't pay very much. It's definitely a depressing struggle that has me questioning all of my decisions.

I'm also going to add that I do feel -- only every now and then -- a little bit of resentment. When we were school-age, it seems like everyone drilled into us these facts that "you'll automatically make more money if you go to college," "you'll have more job opportunities if you go to college," etc etc. The main message being: you're life will be so much better if you pursue this. And for me, personally... I don't feel like it's paying off. Sometimes I wonder if all that stress and all that money was a waste of part of my life. Ugh.

Permalink Reply by Dianne R. on March 22, 2010 at 11:42pm

1. i graduate in december and I have no idea what is going to happen. I know i need to go to either law school or grad school to do what I want to do in my profession.
2. am i making a mistake in following this path when all i really want to be is a writer? should i just say screw it and throw all my focus into that and forget about continuing my education post graduation
3. my husband is behind me in school by a year (but has the job he's going to school for), so if i get in somewhere really awesome, but it's far away the logistics of following what i want to do become difficult.
4. my husband wants kids soon, i don't know when or if i want them.

Permalink Reply by Coyote Tits on March 28, 2010 at 5:38pm

1. Not having a job/money- I'm graduating with my masters in may and i don't want to move back in with my parents! Plus they would make me get rid of one of my dogs

2. Still being single- I always assumed Mr. right would come when it was the right time, but i'm starting to wonder if he got lost along the way.

3.If i really want to be an adult or not. Are we sure i can't go back to being 5 again?

Permalink Reply by Ardith Laverne on April 1, 2010 at 1:07pm

1. Feeling caught between being a child and being an adult. I went to college, graduated, got a full-time job, and still do the same things I did when I was just a kid in college. I'm starting to realize that maybe my personality is just naturally child-like, and luckily, for the field I'm going into, I need to keep that spirit up. But it's hard when I'm around all these professionals who are mothers or fathers, people who are buying houses, people who are buying cars, etc. etc. I don't feel like I'll ever make it to that point right now.

2. I moved to a city I hated, and that was a struggle that made me learn more about myself. I learned that I cannot live alone, and that I cannot live in an area where I don't know anyone. That sucks because I want to be adventurous, but I also don't want to be incredibly lonely. So now it's a very realistic goal of mine to find friends (and/or a partner) who want to adventure with me. I work best when I'm with someone else, which is odd because I'm fairly independent.

3. Realizing that my parents matter way more than I thought. I'm having trouble deciding on a grad school right now because I can't move across the country. I'm my mom's only child, and my dad is in his 90's. That's right-- my dad is much older than my mom. It's a very real possibility that I will need to be home at a moment's notice to support my mom if anything comes up. I feel like to other people, that may be a sign of weakness, that I won't branch out too far from home, but I know it's not. It means that I do have to find a balance, and that's a challenge for me, as I try and figure out my life and fit in some adventures.

Permalink Reply by Janice Hiromi Reinold on May 3, 2010 at 4:57am

Biggest challenge thus far:

-Coming up with a way to stay in the country!
I'm originally German-Japanese but feel most at home in Los Angeles. I spent a majority of my life in Brussels but after graduating high school and moving out to Boston, I had no reason to go back. After graduation and moving out to CA, I applied for a work visa which my company (at the time) agreed to sponsor me. Unfortunately there were way too many people applying for it and I didn't get it... So my only choice was to leave the country or go to grad school. I had planned to go to grad school eventually, but wasn't expecting to go so soon after my undergrad. I studied my butt off for the GRE, wrote multiple drafts of my application essay, and pumped every energy I had into getting into grad school and staying in the US. I'm happy to say that my efforts paid off, and am half way through my grad program at USC :)

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